# Now I got Conjunctivitis! This is bullshit! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 9, 2001, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-got-conjunctivitis-this-is-bullshit/49248 "2001-01-09T23:54:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-got-conjunctivitis-this-is-bullshit/49248/1 "2001-01-09T23:54:14Z")
I want a new body. This one sucks. Oh it’s been pretty decent for the last thirty three years, but in the last month and a half, it’s been falling apart. First that horrible flu-thing, then my testicle swells into a softball, and now I look like a red-eyed demon, or a vampire. Pinkeye, Conjunctivitis. A nasty case. Blood red eyes, feel like they’re full of sandpaper. Itchy. Oozing crud. The drops don’t do shit. I’m falling apart. I’ll never reach thirty-four. Where’s my Vicodin? By this post Ifffen I offend thee, pluck it out. Get out. My testicle may swell and Ninjas may fight us I had the vommity flu and now conjunctivitis. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-got-conjunctivitis-this-is-bullshit/49248/2 "2001-01-10T00:31:30Z")
Yep, conjunctivitis sucks rocks. I had it last year. Got it from my daughter. She had a cold, and she’d rub her nose, then rub her eyes. I caught it in the process of just trying to keep her and my son’s noses wiped. I tried very hard to keep my own hands clean so that I wouldn’t catch anything (or possibly pass anything else to them), but I apparently failed somewhere. The drops worked for me, but it did take a day or two. Oh yeah, I had that flu-thingy a couple of weeks ago, too. Bleah. Bleah, bleah, bleah. Can’t say that I’m with you on the testicle problem, though. Sorry! ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-got-conjunctivitis-this-is-bullshit/49248/3 "2001-01-10T02:39:11Z")
**Poor Scylla.** Your body isn’t really falling apart. Maybe all these ailments are just Mother Nature’s way of telling you to slow down and take it easier. Settle into your Chair of Power, keep a cooler nearby, clutch the remote and look pitiful so your wife will keep up a steady stream of appetizing tidbits. Hey, you feel lousy anyway; might as well get some mileage out of it. FWIW, I had conjunctivitis several times back when I _wore contacts_. I couldn’t wear them (painful and I’d just keep re-infecting my eyes from the lenses) but was blind as a proverbial bat with my spare glasses. I looked like a particularly evil, clumsy vampire: red eyes, bad tempered, shrinking from light and running into walls. **Persephone** is right, though. The drops take a day or so. If you started today you’ll notice a lot of improvement tomorrow. Just be sure to keep washing your hands a lot. It’s fiercely contaigous. Though you realize if you so much as get a hang-nail after this we’re gonna have to shoot you, just to put you out of your misery. \ Veb ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-got-conjunctivitis-this-is-bullshit/49248/4 "2001-01-10T03:38:35Z")
[sarcasm] Aaaah, go dry your eyes **Scylla**! Did you really think that you wouldn’t have to pay the piper for [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=47073) thread? [/sarcasm] PS: Remember, it’s bad luck to be superstitious. ---
**Author:** ![muppetsoup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aca169/32.png) [@muppetsoup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muppetsoup)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-got-conjunctivitis-this-is-bullshit/49248/5 "2001-01-10T22:12:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > **…then my testicle swells into a softball.** You’re a guy? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-got-conjunctivitis-this-is-bullshit/49248/6 "2001-01-11T06:12:08Z")
Of course **Al** is a guy. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-got-conjunctivitis-this-is-bullshit/49248/7 "2001-01-11T07:56:49Z")
Hey **Scylla** that’s what happens for being an ad-hominem conservative. If you were an ad-hominem socialist like me, you wouldn’t have any problems… oh wait… never mind. ummm. ok… are you religious… that’s the problem. ---
**Author:** ![single\_files](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e7dd6/32.png) [@single\_files](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/single_files)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-got-conjunctivitis-this-is-bullshit/49248/8 "2001-01-11T12:56:53Z")
I want to feel for you Scylla, really I do, but I am waiting for my kid to get out of the shower so we can put some lotion all over our bodies which have apparently been taken over by SCABIES. I did some research on the computer and those are some really ugly mite sort of things, though maybe they just don’t photograph well. Time to go … I think she’s done and it’s hard to type and itch at the same time. Good luck with the pink eye. ---
**Author:** ![Tabithina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f04885/32.png) [@Tabithina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabithina)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-got-conjunctivitis-this-is-bullshit/49248/9 "2001-01-12T11:23:17Z")
Hope you’re feeling better soon! It’s pretty common for parents of toddlers to have a run-in with conjunctivitis. The combination of lots of extra germs plus lack of sleep is a potent one. I can’t imagine you’ve slept well with the epididimitis(sp?). My husband had the epididimitis+pinkeye combo a few years ago. I cannot stress enough the need for rest. Get as much rest as you can, as often as you can. I finally got my hubby to stay in bed, and he got better. Your eyes should improve rapidly; if they _stay_ red, you might have an allergy to the eyedrops. Call your doctor if you don’t seem to be getting any better. When I caught pinkeye from my son’s daycare, I learned that I have an allergy to the most commonly prescribed drops. After switching to another type of drop, my eyes cleared up immediately. Take it easy, **Scylla**. Kris