# NOW I remember why I don't wear these pants: Workplace wardrobe malfunctions **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 6, 2017, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110 "2017-10-06T14:40:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2017, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/1 "2017-10-06T14:40:20Z")
So I’ve lost about 20-25 pounds in the last six months and am dressing from my “slightly fat” closet section (I’ve moved the “fat” and “very fat” sections to the back of the closet). I found a beautiful pair of pinstriped trousers I forgot I had – and they fit! However, when I got to work I remembered why they were in the back of the closet. The waistband buttons funky, the zipper doesn’t stay up, and when I sit they bulge in a distinctly . . . male shape. I don’t know why I just don’t donate/throw away work clothes when they suck (I think it’s that voice in my head: "these pants/jacket/shirt were expensive, must keep in case a fitting miracle occurs). Do you have “aaarrrrgggh, why did I try to wear this again?” clothing? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2017, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/2 "2017-10-06T15:48:47Z")
Congratulations on your weight loss! I do have several things that don’t fit just right, but hell…too hard to replace them. And then there’s this dress I have that’s mostly white, with some black parts. I washed it in the machine and now the white is permanently grey. It’s still nice enough to wear but whenever I do, I feel that people are thinking, “Uh-huh, laundry accident.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2017, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/3 "2017-10-06T16:06:55Z")
I’ve lost about a dozen pounds or so since June, and my trousers are very loose. Tuesday I was helping a coworker move a folding table into the kitchen for another coworker’s birthday party. Since the table folds in the middle, I just moved it myself. It’s not that heavy, but it’s big and hard to grip. As I was about to put it down, my trousers fell down. Fortunately not all the way, but halfway down my butt. I said, ‘That’s embarrassing.’ My coworker said she didn’t see anything. I didn’t tell this to Mrs. L.A., but when they were very loose when I got home, I said I might need to start wearing my suspenders. She said, ‘Then you’ll _really_ look like an old man!’ ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2017, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/4 "2017-10-06T16:11:17Z")
> [@Jennshark](#): > > So I’ve lost about 20-25 pounds in the last six months and am dressing from my “slightly fat” closet section (I’ve moved the “fat” and “very fat” sections to the back of the closet). > > I found a beautiful pair of pinstriped trousers I forgot I had – and they fit! However, when I got to work I remembered why they were in the back of the closet. The waistband buttons funky, the zipper doesn’t stay up, and when I sit they bulge in a distinctly . . . male shape. > > I don’t know why I just don’t donate/throw away work clothes when they suck (I think it’s that voice in my head: "these pants/jacket/shirt were expensive, must keep in case a fitting miracle occurs). > > Do you have “aaarrrrgggh, why did I try to wear this again?” clothing? Dumb question: are the “nice but too big to wear” clothes worth having tailored to fit? The description of the particular garment in your story definitely sounds like something you can have fixed by appropriately taking in some of the seams. Not a tailor, not shilling for tailors in general, but if the clothes are nice and liked, it seems like it might be worth it. (That or donate to charity and replace with something similar.) ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/5 "2017-10-07T00:05:53Z")
> [@Jennshark](#): > > . . . and when I sit they bulge in a distinctly . . . male shape. OP, do you think a whole lot of people actually notice this? This gives a whole new interpretation of camel toe. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/6 "2017-10-07T01:41:06Z")
My work BFF let me know the pants were not quite right. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/7 "2017-10-07T04:02:01Z")
Congrats on the weight loss! I lost about 70 pounds over the course of 2016, and have gone from Extra Large shirts down to Medium. Shorts, too. Which is why it’s surprising that I brain-farted and bought a pair of XL running shorts a few months ago. I still wear them - my hydration belt will hold them up, usually - but when it slips, so do they. And since I usually run commando, the consequences threaten to be em-bare-ass-ing. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/8 "2017-10-07T11:52:34Z")
I’m trying to not go, hello, **Jennshark!** , since I’m also playing the, "The guy at the Big and Tall shop insists I’m closing in on neither,"game. Save them. Been through this too many times to throw out anything. And I assume your workpal who says, “Girl, those pants are too tight!” ain’t a straight guy, 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/9 "2017-10-07T14:33:49Z")
Butt really, pun intended, my cow-rorkers tend to the “girl, and you are STILL wearing yoga pants?” place, but they can work. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/10 "2017-10-07T14:46:52Z")
As in a fine line between “this this doesn’t fit,” and “Hello, Nurse!” for some of us. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/11 "2017-10-07T15:13:11Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > And since I usually run commando, the consequences threaten to be em-bare-ass-ing. Also, ballsy. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/12 "2017-10-07T18:42:11Z")
Ballsy, not interested. Commando, Female, in the yoga pants that become translucent in sunlight? Exceedingly interested. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/13 "2017-10-07T19:09:42Z")
I only wear Levi’s. They come in either 36 or 38. I must be a perfect 37. Some are too tight, the others fall down. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/14 "2017-10-07T19:18:26Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > I only wear Levi’s. They come in either 36 or 38. I must be a perfect 37. Some are too tight, the others fall down. > > ☹ That’s what belts are for. I’ve been the same size for about 30 years now. In fact I still wear pants that I bought in the late 1990s. I’m gentle on my clothes, and sometimes only wear something a handful of times a year. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/15 "2017-10-07T21:16:33Z")
My wife and I have both lost a fair amount of weight. With the result that a lot her size men’s L shirts no longer fit her–but suddenly fit me. I have a whole wardrobe of such shirts. Hand-me-ups she calls them. ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/16 "2017-10-07T22:06:28Z")
My descending to ascending size wardrobes only get two complete journeys around the closet and then they are replaced. This generally takes about five to seven years. Sometimes less. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2017, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/17 "2017-10-08T04:07:47Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I’m gentle on my clothes, and sometimes only wear something a handful of times a year. That leaves you running around naked a whole lot. Really? ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2017, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/18 "2017-10-08T08:44:03Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > **Jennshark** …And I assume your workpal who says, “Girl, those pants are too tight!” ain’t a straight guy, 😉 If I read it right, tightness is not the problem; it’s a matter of the front panel loosening up when she sits down. The result would be a side view that makes her look like a guy with an erection. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2017, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/19 "2017-10-08T15:17:06Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > If I read it right, tightness is not the problem; it’s a matter of the front panel loosening up when she sits down. The result would be a side view that makes her look like a guy with an erection. What difference would it make whether the person in question is a type M person or a type F person? Seems like it would be a bit embarrassing in either case. Assuming the person in question cares AND the surrounding people notice and care. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2017, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110/20 "2017-10-08T15:31:41Z")
I didn’t say the wearer’s gender made a difference. How do you get that from my post? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-i-remember-why-i-dont-wear-these-pants-workplace-wardrobe-malfunctions/798110.md?page=2)