# Now I've seen it all: Fisting, Masturbation, Anal Sex, and the Word of God **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 19, 2009, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-ive-seen-it-all-fisting-masturbation-anal-sex-and-the-word-of-god/500266 "2009-06-19T03:31:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-ive-seen-it-all-fisting-masturbation-anal-sex-and-the-word-of-god/500266/1 "2009-06-19T03:31:10Z")
[Sex in Christ](http://www.sexinchrist.com/) :eek: Did you know, for example, that while male homosexuality is right out, lesbianism is okay, because it’s not mentioned in the Bible – so threesomes are hunky-dory? Oh, and fisting is God’s will!!! 😛 If I’m being whooshed – and I certainly hope I am! – please forgive me. I’m kind of woozy, I just took a vicodin for a toothache. (Jesus, I almost typed _viagra_!) ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-ive-seen-it-all-fisting-masturbation-anal-sex-and-the-word-of-god/500266/2 "2009-06-19T03:44:06Z")
Well, if the Bible says it’s okay… _rolls up sleeves_ ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-ive-seen-it-all-fisting-masturbation-anal-sex-and-the-word-of-god/500266/3 "2009-06-19T03:48:36Z")
Actually, I just looked at the main page – it seems to describe “saddlebacking” (using anal sex to avoid losing your virginity, a popular method among Christian teens). Guys, I’m sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Myrrajh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/87869e/32.png) [@Myrrajh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrrajh)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-ive-seen-it-all-fisting-masturbation-anal-sex-and-the-word-of-god/500266/4 "2009-06-19T03:54:57Z")
Safe to say you’ve been whooshed. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-ive-seen-it-all-fisting-masturbation-anal-sex-and-the-word-of-god/500266/5 "2009-06-19T04:00:51Z")
:smack: Yeah, I think I’m gonna go to bed before I do anymore damage. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-ive-seen-it-all-fisting-masturbation-anal-sex-and-the-word-of-god/500266/6 "2009-06-19T11:29:22Z")
Someone put a lot of thought and tortured logic into those interpretations. I wonder how many impressionable women will fall for them? Like my dear old grandmother used to tell me, ‘the devil may quote scripture for his own ends.’ I wish people would forget religion and follow one simple rule: If it feels good, do it. And yes, the stories are whooshes within a grand whoosh. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-ive-seen-it-all-fisting-masturbation-anal-sex-and-the-word-of-god/500266/7 "2009-06-19T12:04:51Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > I wonder how many impressionable women will fall for them? I’m printing out some tracts right now; I’ll let you know. BRB. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-ive-seen-it-all-fisting-masturbation-anal-sex-and-the-word-of-god/500266/8 "2009-06-19T12:13:25Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Actually, I just looked at the main page – it seems to describe “saddlebacking” (using anal sex to avoid losing your virginity, a popular method among Christian teens). > > Guys, I’m sorry. “Saddlebacking” used that way is new - Dan Savage, sex columnist with the Savage Love column, had a contest to define the word to protest Rick Warren, the Purpose-Driven Life Pastor who spoke at Obama’s inauguration but had made some anti-gay / gay marriage statements in the past. He is the pastor at Saddleback Church. Savage did this once before with the word “santorum” - after anti-gay former PA Senator Rick Santorum…it now has a sexual definition, too… ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-ive-seen-it-all-fisting-masturbation-anal-sex-and-the-word-of-god/500266/9 "2009-06-19T12:22:31Z")
> [@black\_rabbit](#): > > I’m printing out some tracts right now; I’ll let you know. BRB. HAW! HAW! HAW! Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-ive-seen-it-all-fisting-masturbation-anal-sex-and-the-word-of-god/500266/10 "2009-06-19T12:38:13Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > If I’m being whooshed – and I certainly hope I am! – please forgive me. I’m kind of woozy, I just took a vicodin for a toothache. (Jesus, I almost typed _viagra_!) In about an hour you’re going to look like a beaver. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-ive-seen-it-all-fisting-masturbation-anal-sex-and-the-word-of-god/500266/11 "2009-06-19T14:22:39Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > “Saddlebacking” used that way is new - Dan Savage, sex columnist with the Savage Love column, had a contest to define the word to protest Rick Warren, the Purpose-Driven Life Pastor who spoke at Obama’s inauguration but had made some anti-gay / gay marriage statements in the past. He is the pastor at Saddleback Church. > > Savage did this once before with the word “santorum” - after anti-gay former PA Senator Rick Santorum…it now has a sexual definition, too… I’m aware of that. (Hell, Santorum used to be my senator, that fucking bastard) ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-ive-seen-it-all-fisting-masturbation-anal-sex-and-the-word-of-god/500266/12 "2009-06-19T15:33:20Z")
I just looked at the site- Whoosh City! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-ive-seen-it-all-fisting-masturbation-anal-sex-and-the-word-of-god/500266/13 "2009-06-19T16:36:24Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > I just looked at the site- Whoosh City! Yes, I know, I offer myself up for some, um, “spanking.” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-ive-seen-it-all-fisting-masturbation-anal-sex-and-the-word-of-god/500266/14 "2009-06-19T17:29:21Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > Someone put a lot of thought and tortured logic into those interpretations. I would actually say that most of it is very literal and reasonable interpretation of the Bible. Not because the Bible actually says any of that, just that the writers of the Bible never particularly considered most of the things that the site advocates, so it didn’t occur to them to ban it. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-ive-seen-it-all-fisting-masturbation-anal-sex-and-the-word-of-god/500266/15 "2009-06-19T22:23:24Z")
**LouisB** I think we need at least two rules. Some fine ones were put forth by Ted “Theodore” Logan and Bill S Preston esquire (Together they are Wyld Stallyns!) Rule 1- Party On Dudes! And the important rule two, which you seem to have overlooked Rule 2- Be Excellent To Each Other! Back To The OP I wonder what the Talmud has to say on fisting? I know it has opinions on masturbation and anal sex.