# Now that Elon Musk has bought Twitter - now the Pit edition (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 25, 2022, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442 "2022-04-25T22:50:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 340
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2023, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6786 "2023-09-20T22:28:50Z")
So, add “creepy creeper who creeps” to Elmo’s impressive portfolio. He just keeps getting better and better. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2023, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6787 "2023-09-20T22:36:57Z")
I don’t think Elmo is all that interested in Taylor Swift. Having never tried to float down the Mississippi in a homemade houseboat with a flock of chickens like Zelda Xox, aka Grimes, she lacks that space-cadet mental derangement that Elmo so values. Also, no Xs in her name. ---
**Author:** ![dougrb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@dougrb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougrb)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2023, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6788 "2023-09-20T22:44:35Z")
I had never heard the T-Swizzle reference, but maybe Xwizzle? ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2023, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6789 "2023-09-20T23:12:47Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > I don’t think Elmo is all that interested in Taylor Swift. He just wants her legion of fans. I don’t think he’s _necessarily_ hitting on her. But I’ve been wrong before. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2023, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6790 "2023-09-20T23:27:29Z")
> [@ekedolphin](#): > > I don’t think he’s _necessarily_ hitting on her. She’s tall, blonde, and intelligent. Ideal breeding stock for Elmo’s all-white Martian utopia. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2023, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6791 "2023-09-20T23:42:45Z")
She has a lot of social status, and that’s what he craves endlessly. ---
**Author:** ![dougrb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@dougrb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougrb)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2023, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6792 "2023-09-21T00:16:55Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > Elmo’s all-white Martian utopia. Right up until the first half white half green kid. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2023, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6793 "2023-09-21T00:18:47Z")
Is he just trying to make money off her? ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2023, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6794 "2023-09-21T00:21:21Z")
Yes. And a not-small amount of Twitter users would actually subscribe for this content. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2023, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6795 "2023-09-21T00:48:13Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > Elmo is now trying to lovebomb T-Swizzle. This is not the first time Elmo has done this. If he had any self-awareness, he’d realize that he’s now become a cheap shill, spamming celebrities to get them to contribute more content to his dumpster-fire platform. All while announcing that he’s soon going to start charging them for the privilege. The man is nothing less than an agile genius! ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2023, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6796 "2023-09-21T01:55:57Z")
Doper please… If he’s anyone he’s Hugo Drax, a eugenicist who owns his own rocket company, loves video games, and fancies himself the savior of mankind by taking the “best of us” off planet while he fucks over everyone else. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2023, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6797 "2023-09-21T02:11:43Z")
Drax’s plans were mostly successful, though. Elmo’s really more of a Hugo Farnsworth without the charisma or likeability. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2023, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6798 "2023-09-21T02:19:51Z")
In other news, Elmo is done killing monkeys with his neural implants and is ready to start killing human beings now. [![](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F6f_RFVWkAAwZWW?format=jpg&name=medium) ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F6f_RFVWkAAwZWW?format=jpg&name=medium) > > [@](#): > > Musk first acknowledged the deaths of the macaques on September 10 in a reply to a user on his social networking app X (formerly Twitter). He denied that any of the deaths were “a result of a Neuralink implant” and said the researchers had taken care to select subjects who were already “close to death…” > > …Public records reviewed by WIRED, and interviews conducted with a former Neuralink employee and a current researcher at the University of California, Davis primate center, paint a wholly different picture of Neuralink’s animal research. The documents include veterinary records, first made public last year, that contain gruesome portrayals of suffering reportedly endured by as many as a dozen of Neuralink’s primate subjects, all of whom needed to be euthanized… > > For example, in an experimental surgery that took place in December 2019, performed to determine the “survivability” of an implant, an internal part of the device “broke off” while being implanted. Overnight, researchers observed the monkey, identified only as “Animal 20” by UC Davis, scratching at the surgical site, which emitted a bloody discharge, and yanking on a connector that eventually dislodged part of the device. A surgery to repair the issue was carried out the following day, yet fungal and bacterial infections took root. Vet records note that neither infection was likely to be cleared, in part because the implant was covering the infected area. The monkey was euthanized on January 6, 2020. > > Additional veterinary reports show the condition of a female monkey called “Animal 15” during the months leading up to her death in March 2019. Days after her implant surgery, she began to press her head against the floor for no apparent reason; a symptom of pain or infection, the records say. Staff observed that though she was uncomfortable, picking and pulling at her implant until it bled, she would often lie at the foot of her cage and spend time holding hands with her roommate. > > Animal 15 began to lose coordination, and staff observed that she would shake uncontrollably when she saw lab workers. Her condition deteriorated for months until the staff finally euthanized her. A necropsy report indicates that she had bleeding in her brain and that the Neuralink implants left parts of her cerebral cortex “focally tattered.” > > Yet another monkey, Animal 22, was euthanized in March 2020 after his cranial implant became loose. A necropsy report revealed that two of the screws securing the implant to the skull loosened to the extent that they “could easily be lifted out.” The necropsy for Animal 22 clearly states that “the failure of this implant can be considered purely mechanical and not exacerbated by infection.” ---
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2023, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6799 "2023-09-21T02:42:19Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > > [@Smapti](#): > > > > Elmo is now trying to lovebomb T-Swizzle. > > This is not the first time Elmo has done this. If he had any self-awareness, he’d realize that he’s now become a cheap shill, spamming celebrities to get them to contribute more content to his dumpster-fire platform. All while announcing that he’s soon going to start charging them for the privilege. The man is nothing less than an agile genius! Yes, I’ve seen Musk do this a few times. Last week it was Bill Maher. He tries to persuade celebrities to publish stuff on X/Twitter rather than their usual platforms. He holds up Tucker Carlson as an example of someone who uses X as their main distribution outlet, except Musk lies by conflating impressions - the number of times a tweet is seen - with actual video views. It comes across as a bit desperate to me. ---
**Author:** ![Dissonance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85f322/32.png) [@Dissonance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dissonance)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2023, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6800 "2023-09-21T03:12:55Z")
> [@ParallelLines](#): > > under the control of an immortal King (NOT God, the Emperor would be sickened by the thought). > **[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device Short 4: Decius breaks the News](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pq-6aj9sNvo%2F)** > > Decius explains to his Cardinals that Emps isn't actually the god they thought he was.Kochiha Ichihara as EVERYONEhttp://www.youtube.com/KochihaConsidering p... Lament the loss of any future episodes of If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device, victim of GW’s lawyer’s ‘zealous’ plans to prevent any competition to the launch the garbage fire that is Warhammer+ protect their IP. ---
**Author:** ![Sylvanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sylvanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylvanz)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2023, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6801 "2023-09-21T03:48:10Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > she would often lie at the foot of her cage and spend time holding hands with her roommate. This made me choke up a bit for a second. Those poor things. What an indecent way to treat living breathing creatures. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2023, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6802 "2023-09-21T03:53:12Z")
> [@](#): > > The necropsy for Animal 22 clearly states that “the failure of this implant can be considered purely mechanical and not exacerbated by infection.” i.e. They didn’t even get something as simple as _securely screwing a part into place_ right, never mind hard stuff like interfacing neurons to electronics. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2023, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6803 "2023-09-21T04:07:03Z")
> [@Sylvanz](#): > > This made me choke up a bit for a second. Those poor things. Some animals are more human than some humans. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2023, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6804 "2023-09-21T05:10:18Z")
This is some [Unit 731](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unit_731) shit. Anyone volunteering to be a human test subject for this insanity needs their head examined. By an actual psychiatrist, not Musk’s butchers. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2023, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442/6805 "2023-09-21T05:15:04Z")
WARNING! Do not click on the link for Unit 731 if you want to sleep at night! Jesus, man; put that in spoiler tags. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442.md?page=339) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-elon-musk-has-bought-twitter-now-the-pit-edition-part-1/963442.md?page=341)