# Now That I'm A Member, Fill Me In On The Secrets **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 17, 2012, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188 "2012-02-17T21:18:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/1 "2012-02-17T21:18:48Z")
Okay guys, I’m officially a “member” here now, no longer a humble guest. Now, as a member I know that I am entitled to certain privileged pieces of information. First off, teach me the SDMB handshake. None of that regular handshake for the guests, give me the real deal. That’s actually all I can think of right now, but don’t worry, when I think I should know something as a full fledged member, I’ll let you know. Oh, one more thing, am I the one who gets to introduce the squid and/or the goat to new guests? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/2 "2012-02-17T21:20:13Z")
The handshake for members is easy. It’s a handshake for members. If you know what I meant. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/3 "2012-02-17T21:20:55Z")
Yeah, yer a member. We all knew that. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/4 "2012-02-17T21:21:54Z")
Damn you charter members and your fancy charter membershipness, you’ll get yours! ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/5 "2012-02-17T21:24:39Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > Damn you charter members and your fancy charter membershipness, you’ll get yours! We already have ours, thank you! In the fullness of time, you might get yours. (If you don’t get too uppity.) ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/6 "2012-02-17T21:24:40Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > Damn you charter members and your fancy charter membershipness, you’ll get yours! Yes, we do get ours. Twice weekly, as stated in our charter member charter. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/7 "2012-02-17T21:29:48Z")
> [@Hal\_Briston](#): > > Yes, we do get ours. Twice weekly, as stated in our charter member charter. And man is my rear end sore! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/8 "2012-02-17T21:36:13Z")
Ok, who has the squid?, I think **Skald** had the goat so there will be no felching in this initiation, the jelly is in the usual place… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/9 "2012-02-17T23:01:14Z")
The goat is missing. Somebody left an IOU in his stable. Damn Recession! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/10 "2012-02-17T23:34:57Z")
Who’s wrangling the ice cream? Last time, we lost two people and the initiant didn’t come out for a week! ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/11 "2012-02-17T23:42:30Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > . . . First off, teach me the SDMB handshake. None of that regular handshake for the guests, give me the real deal. . . Oh, one more thing, am I the one who gets to introduce the squid and/or the goat to new guests? I think before we teach you the handshake, all of the Charter Members have to give you a wedgie. Isn’t that in paragraph 6? And I think the squid got laid off. Although we may be able to issue a part time contract for a cuttlefish. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/12 "2012-02-17T23:56:01Z")
D: Cuttlefish are just _mean_. At least the squid was gentle when he was beaking… ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/13 "2012-02-17T23:59:07Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > I think before we teach you the handshake, all of the Charter Members have to give you a wedgie. Isn’t that in paragraph 6? > > And I think the squid got laid off. Although we may be able to issue a part time contract for a cuttlefish. That’s Paragraph 7, Paragraph 6 is the zamboni. ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/14 "2012-02-18T00:41:55Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > > [@Yllaria](#): > > > > I think before we teach you the handshake, all of the Charter Members have to give you a wedgie. Isn’t that in paragraph 6? > > > > And I think the squid got laid off. Although we may be able to issue a part time contract for a cuttlefish. > > That’s Paragraph 7, Paragraph 6 is the zamboni. There is NO . . . Paragraph Six. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/15 "2012-02-18T00:54:40Z")
Let’s see…when I became a member… … … no one noticed. At least I didn’t have to go through the initiation. My grand plan is to make sure those Charter characters never find out! So far so good. -D/a ---
**Author:** ![cards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecd19e/32.png) [@cards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cards)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/16 "2012-02-18T21:27:46Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > Damn you charter members and your fancy charter membershipness, you’ll get yours! Since members have to do various “odd” jobs for us Charter Members, I need you to go to the top floor and get a bucket of steam from the steam room. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2012, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/17 "2012-02-19T04:31:44Z")
> [@cards](#): > > Since members have to do various “odd” jobs for us Charter Members, I need you to go to the top floor and get a bucket of steam from the steam room. Dude. The last time anyone did that, it ended up all over the walls. Do we really want to go through that again? Oh, why not? It was amusing then and it will be amusing now. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2012, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/18 "2012-02-19T11:16:49Z")
> [@Frodo](#): > > Ok, who has the squid?, I think **Skald** had the goat so there will be no felching in this initiation, the jelly is in the usual place… The squid is a lie. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2012, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/19 "2012-02-19T12:44:51Z")
The first rule of the club is that… I’ve said too much already. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2012, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188/20 "2012-02-19T13:01:36Z")
OK, you’ve officially joined and all that, but until you are officially anointed while while dressed in the ceremonial muu-muu, followed by light snacks in the solarium, well, you’re not \*really \*a member. So report to the quartermaster for issue of said muu-muu, your fuzzy bunny slippers, and your Helmet of Infinite Bad Hair. And don’t fall for it if he gives you a plain paper bag - that just ruins the dignity of the installation protocol. Oh yeah, and you have to provide the light snacks. Make sure they’re fresh and tasty. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-that-im-a-member-fill-me-in-on-the-secrets/613188.md?page=2)