# Now you're making stuff up.  \[Obama's citizenship\]

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [March 31, 2009, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427 "2009-03-31T14:16:02Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 24

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**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\
**Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/461 "2009-04-04T19:48:21Z")

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> [@kanicbird](#):
>
> It’s more effective however. If they come at me with human explanations they are easy to dismiss, but if the try to wield the sword without divine inspiration I have no problem taking them down as instructed in the Word (2 Tim 3:16, 4:2)

You know you’re a crazy person, right?

I know this because I surrendered myself to Santa Claus. He thinks you fuckers have perverted the meaning of Christmas with your bizarre BSDM Jewish body modification cult.

No toys for you!

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**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\
**Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/462 "2009-04-04T20:06:01Z")

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Know what? I’m too curious about that claim to dismiss it so quickly.

**kanicbird** , can you witness to us about how you were given that divine revelation? Did God appear to you in a majestic vision and tell you explicitly? Did you record His exact words, so that the world might receive them from you? What form did God take? Or was it just something you suddenly knew somehow? When did it happen? Is there anyone else who has received that same revelation, or are you the sole recipient? Did God tell you why He chose you, or indeed allow any dialogue at all? Are you commanded to inform the rest of humanity of this terrible fact? Did God tell you why He permitted Obama to be controlled by demons, or what if anything you or anyone else should do about it?

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**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\
**Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/463 "2009-04-04T20:36:36Z")

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> [@ElvisL1ves](#):
>
> It still belongs on the list of Doper catchphrases, though. 😃

Our jackbooted overlords are permitting Cafe Press tee shirt ideas now. I’m liking _ **“In the name of Jesus I rebuke you”** _ underneath the **Fighting Ignorance Since 1973** logo.

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**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\
**Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/464 "2009-04-04T20:36:40Z")

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Demons are in charge of anyone who disagrees with the bird. There are a lot of demons running around.  
If Obama was not a eligible to be president some reporter somewhere would have had a huge life changing scoop. But the reason it did not turn up is because it does not exist. Some people who think they hear the voice of god are tuned in to the other side.

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**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\
**Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/465 "2009-04-04T21:11:39Z")

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> [@Andy\_L](#):
>
> Be careful when using that device - an early version had a tendency to drop users off in universes where the shape J (that’s like half-a-U) was used as a letter (replacing I in some but not all cases).

I’d like to buy a license for my pet half-a-U, Eruc.

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**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\
**Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/466 "2009-04-04T21:21:27Z")

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> [@kanicbird](#):
>
> But that said, I don’t really care. I am under grace, not the law. My Father will protect me and provide for me no matter what man or demon runs this country.

Paging Qagdop the Mercotan … be ready for KB … since he has declared he is a scofflaw, he may be headed you direction [professionally speaking] get the thorazine or whatever you use ready.

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**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\
**Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/467 "2009-04-04T21:21:37Z")

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Now was it the Jesus H. Christ at 732 W. 35th St, or the Jesus B. Christ a 9336 E. 15th Ave?

No use surrendering to the wrong Jesus Christ.

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**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\
**Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/468 "2009-04-04T22:07:09Z")

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**mumbles Hail Marys under her breath and holds out crucifix in front of Kanicbird**

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**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\
**Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/469 "2009-04-04T22:10:28Z")

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> [@Chimera](#):
>
> No use surrendering to the wrong Jesus Christ.

In Russia, Jesus Christ surrenders to YOU!

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**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\
**Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/470 "2009-04-04T22:12:17Z")

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The crazy is getting worse. Which is good, because I needed a laugh today.

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**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\
**Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/471 "2009-04-04T22:23:31Z")

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> [@kanicbird](#):
>
> Once I have been given divine revelation there is no worldly ‘proof’ that would suffice. And I have been given that to the extent that there are major spiritual issues and Obama does not have full authority. I don’t know however if he is totally a figurhead, or still has some authority.  
> But that said, I don’t really care. I am under grace, not the law. My Father will protect me and provide for me no matter what man or demon runs this country.

Well, I think you’ve taken me all wrong. There is now no reason to have scripture, the church, rational thought or any of the other things that our creator has given us to deal with this mess we call existence. No reason at all. We need no more of all that because we now have **kanicbird** who gets messages directly from God himself. In fact, I can’t help but sit in awe at having this illustrious personage visiting our little message board, knowing that we have someone here who has joined the ranks of all those in history who have claimed direct inspiration from God himself: The Apostle Paul, St. John, Augustine of Hippo, Teresa of Avila, Martin Luther, Charles Manson …

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**Author:** ![Jane\_Elliot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jane_elliot/32/6166_2.png) [@Jane\_Elliot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jane_Elliot)\
**Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/472 "2009-04-04T23:20:49Z")

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Some say **kanicbird** has been touched by God.

Some say too hard.

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**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\
**Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/473 "2009-04-04T23:22:29Z")

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> [@ElvisL1ves](#):
>
> **kanicbird** , can you witness to us about how you were given that divine revelation? Did God appear to you in a majestic vision and tell you explicitly? Did you record His exact words, so that the world might receive them from you? What form did God take?

And did He interrupt the vision to tell you about the great deals and friendly service at your local True Value hardware store?

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**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\
**Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/474 "2009-04-04T23:22:32Z")

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> [@Rhythmdvl](#):
>
> I’d like to buy a license for my pet half-a-U, Eruc.

Wouldn’t half-a-U be two legs of lamb?

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**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\
**Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/475 "2009-04-05T00:22:38Z")

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> [@kanicbird](#):
>
> Once I have been given divine revelation there is no worldly ‘proof’ that would suffice. And I have been given that to the extent that there are major spiritual issues and Obama does not have full authority. I don’t know however if he is totally a figurhead, or still has some authority.  
> But that said, I don’t really care. I am under grace, not the law. My Father will protect me and provide for me no matter what man or demon runs this country.

We are immensely fortunate. The world has allowed us to read the writings of one who is seriously, spectacularly deranged, and yet retains the ability to converse in (relatively) clear language.

[QUOTE=Jane Elliot]  
Some say kanicbird has been touched by God.

Some say too hard.  
[/QUOTE]

Some just say kanicbird is touched in the head.

**Kanicbird,** I know you derive pleasure from being mocked and persecuted, so drink it in, **nic**.

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**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\
**Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/476 "2009-04-05T00:51:06Z")

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> [@kanicbird](#):
>
> It’s more effective however. If they come at me with human explanations they are easy to dismiss

human explanations like “hey, I looked for the verse you quoted in the Bible and you’re making shit up” ? Cause we all noticed how you dismissed that one. Ironic, don’tcha think ? It’s like rai-y-ain when all you need is a knife.

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**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\
**Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/477 "2009-04-05T04:51:12Z")

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> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#):
>
> You’re living proof of the wisdom of the establishment clause.

The wisdom of abolishing involuntary commitment in mental institutions? Not so much.

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**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\
**Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/478 "2009-04-05T05:19:31Z")

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> [@kaylasdad99](#):
>
> The wisdom of abolishing involuntary commitment in mental institutions? Not so much.

Oh, I dunno… as long as his views can’t be used as the basis of law, he’s harmless enough.

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**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/479 "2009-04-06T05:31:06Z")

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Really? What if he ever ges the opportunity to poison the mind of a child? I mean, if we could keep him and his lunatic ravings sequestered in the SDMB, it’s all good; but we don’t want that kind of crazy in the general population.

Well, not any more than we can help.

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**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-youre-making-stuff-up-obamas-citizenship/491427/480 "2009-04-06T09:26:43Z")

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> [@kaylasdad99](#):
>
> Really? What if he ever ges the opportunity to poison the mind of a child? I mean, if we could keep him and his lunatic ravings sequestered in the SDMB, it’s all good; but we don’t want that kind of crazy in the general population.
> 
> Well, not any more than we can help.

I’m more worried about when God tells him to shoot up the next shopping mall.

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