# NSFW: Skank Porkers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2015, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854 "2015-10-27T07:37:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![EmbarrassingDad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/embarrassingdad/32/5441_2.png) [@EmbarrassingDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmbarrassingDad)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/1 "2015-10-27T07:37:33Z")
1. Freshman year in college at my cousin’s apartment, in his bedroom, on a twin-size mattress on the floor (I wasn’t allowed to pork skanks on his bed), I was porking this skank (who I’d met before when I came to check out the school when I was still in highschool). Anyway, all three room mates bust in laughing with a Polaroid instant camera, and snap a photo. It was the best photo ever, I had a shit-eating grin orders of magnitude beyond Jack Nicholson. I was holding her legs open for the camera. She was grinning but covering her eyes. I was so proud of that picture, that I left it out a little too long. One of the roommates got tired of it I guess and ruined it. I learned a valuable lesson that day. Hold on tight to your treasures, and never trust anyone, ever. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/2 "2015-10-27T07:48:51Z")
Are skanks kind of like human beings or different? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/3 "2015-10-27T07:54:32Z")
> [@dirty1](#): > > I learned a valuable lesson that day. Did you though? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/4 "2015-10-27T08:01:00Z")
Are you **Stringbean** ’s brother?? Who says “porker”??😕 ---
**Author:** ![EmbarrassingDad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/embarrassingdad/32/5441_2.png) [@EmbarrassingDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmbarrassingDad)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/5 "2015-10-27T08:02:16Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Are skanks kind of like human beings or different? They are indeed human beings. They grew up here, in the Southeastern US. Granted this was over 25 years ago, and the OP was a vague attempt at art. ---
**Author:** ![EmbarrassingDad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/embarrassingdad/32/5441_2.png) [@EmbarrassingDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmbarrassingDad)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/6 "2015-10-27T08:03:19Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Did you though? What lesson would you hope that I had learned? ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/7 "2015-10-27T08:03:52Z")
Let’s go down to her quarry and throw some stuff in ---
**Author:** ![EmbarrassingDad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/embarrassingdad/32/5441_2.png) [@EmbarrassingDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmbarrassingDad)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/8 "2015-10-27T08:07:05Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Are you **Stringbean** ’s brother?? Who says “porker”??😕 Sorry, I’m not familiar with any of this. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/9 "2015-10-27T08:25:15Z")
Somewhere on this board is a thread titled: “What is the lowest form of human discourse?” Silly me, I replied with “Facebook”. Had I read the OP first, my answer would have been very different. [link](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=773303) ---
**Author:** ![EmbarrassingDad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/embarrassingdad/32/5441_2.png) [@EmbarrassingDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmbarrassingDad)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/10 "2015-10-27T08:46:51Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Somewhere on this board is a thread titled: “What is the lowest form of human discourse?” Silly me, I replied with “Facebook”. Had I read the OP first, my answer would have been very different. > > [link](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=773303) I’m sorry you didn’t appreciate my literature. Art critics are a rare breed. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/11 "2015-10-27T10:58:56Z")
I’m shocked. I expected the OP’s join date to be October 2015. _Late_ October, even. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/12 "2015-10-27T11:46:16Z")
Now I’m worried that someone is going to think “Skank Porkers” is a great name for a television show and we’ll be seeing it on Bravo next fall. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/13 "2015-10-27T12:19:57Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > Now I’m worried that someone is going to think “Skank Porkers” is a great name for a television show and we’ll be seeing it on Bravo next fall. Admit it. You’ll be disappointed when you discover that it’s a BBQ reality show. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/14 "2015-10-27T12:21:15Z")
You know, the skank porker might be on a board somewhere telling a story about the needle-dick that lasted all of 12 seconds back in '89, and how she wished she’d gotten a pic. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/15 "2015-10-27T12:23:52Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > You know, the skank porker might be on a board somewhere telling a story about the needle-dick that lasted all of 12 seconds back in '89, and how she wished she’d gotten a pic. I believe the proper term would be ‘skank porkee’ in her case. Not that I disagree with the gist of your comment. Opening posts like this remind of the David Warner line from “Time Bandits”: “is this the best the Supreme Being can do?” ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/16 "2015-10-27T12:36:36Z")
> [@dirty1](#): > > … and the OP was a vague attempt at art. You _ **FAIL!** _ ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/17 "2015-10-27T12:43:14Z")
> [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](#): > > I believe the proper term would be ‘skank porkee’ in her case. Ahh, sorry, I’m far from fluent in the OP’s odd dialect. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/18 "2015-10-27T12:50:35Z")
There can be only one **Super Kapowzler**! ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/19 "2015-10-27T13:10:15Z")
So, If my math is correct, the OP is now somewhere around 45 and yet still thinks like this. Amazing. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854/20 "2015-10-27T13:22:00Z")
> [@dirty1](#): > > 1. > > Freshman year in college at my cousin’s apartment, in his bedroom, on a twin-size mattress on the floor (I wasn’t allowed to pork skanks on his bed), I was porking this skank (who I’d met before when I came to check out the school when I was still in highschool). > > Anyway, all three room mates bust in laughing with a Polaroid instant camera, and snap a photo. > > It was the best photo ever, I had a shit-eating grin orders of magnitude beyond Jack Nicholson. I was holding her legs open for the camera. She was grinning but covering her eyes. > > I was so proud of that picture, that I left it out a little too long. One of the roommates got tired of it I guess and ruined it. > > I learned a valuable lesson that day. > > Hold on tight to your treasures, and never trust anyone, ever. we’re very impressed. you type a lot better than most other 12 year olds. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nsfw-skank-porkers/735854.md?page=2)