# Nude Man Covered In Crisco Seeking Friends **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2012, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nude-man-covered-in-crisco-seeking-friends/631039 "2012-08-10T02:38:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![newsbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@newsbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newsbunny)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nude-man-covered-in-crisco-seeking-friends/631039/1 "2012-08-10T02:38:02Z")
[http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/article/267950/82/Police-Naked-man-covered-in-Crisco-just-looking-for-a-place-to-party](http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/article/267950/82/Police-Naked-man-covered-in-Crisco-just-looking-for-a-place-to-party) These are the stories we journalists get on our knees and pray for every night. ---
**Author:** ![Enkel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/df705f/32.png) [@Enkel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enkel)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nude-man-covered-in-crisco-seeking-friends/631039/2 "2012-08-10T02:45:04Z")
Wow… that’s one where you’d really, really hope the police cruiser had a dash cam with a mic. Imagine that police officer, not only did he have to arrest this guy, but he’s going to have to sit in court and testify about it. I doubt that I could manage either with a straight face. ---
**Author:** ![robotic\_panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed8c4c/32.png) [@robotic\_panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robotic_panda)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nude-man-covered-in-crisco-seeking-friends/631039/3 "2012-08-10T10:50:28Z")
Ha! Aren’t we all just looking for a place to party? Stay glistening, Crisco Man! And continue staying classy, Quad Cities! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nude-man-covered-in-crisco-seeking-friends/631039/4 "2012-08-10T11:09:12Z")
I am shocked - shocked, I say - to learn that drugs were involved in this incident. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nude-man-covered-in-crisco-seeking-friends/631039/5 "2012-08-10T11:43:05Z")
I’m getting old. When I hear “Crisco”, I think of solid shortening, not cooking spray. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nude-man-covered-in-crisco-seeking-friends/631039/6 "2012-08-10T12:01:44Z")
Sounds like a slippery character. (You KNEW somebody was gonna say it.) ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nude-man-covered-in-crisco-seeking-friends/631039/7 "2012-08-10T13:00:04Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > I’m getting old. When I hear “Crisco”, I think of solid shortening, not cooking spray. That’s exactly what I was going to say. I was picturing some guy slopped in white blobs not glistening in a sheen. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nude-man-covered-in-crisco-seeking-friends/631039/8 "2012-08-10T13:49:03Z")
Somewhere, there’s a rookie with a bottle of cleaning solution and a sponge who is shaking his head and wondering if those seat stains will Ever come out… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nude-man-covered-in-crisco-seeking-friends/631039/9 "2012-08-10T15:17:03Z")
And people wonder why cannibals have such high cholesterol. He would have been far healthier, and tastier, if he had covered himself in canola oil. ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nude-man-covered-in-crisco-seeking-friends/631039/10 "2012-08-10T16:08:56Z")
> [@Edward\_The\_Head](#): > > That’s exactly what I was going to say. I was picturing some guy slopped in white blobs not glistening in a sheen. Really! So inconsiderate of him not to use real Crisco. Then we could have made Little Baby’s Ice Cream jokes. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nude-man-covered-in-crisco-seeking-friends/631039/11 "2012-08-10T16:21:06Z")
Randy Travis made bail? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nude-man-covered-in-crisco-seeking-friends/631039/12 "2012-08-10T16:32:26Z")
You can’t blame the guy for looking. I mean, a party with oiled-up naked people? How fun is that! ---
**Author:** ![Ksnook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ce7236/32.png) [@Ksnook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ksnook)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nude-man-covered-in-crisco-seeking-friends/631039/13 "2012-08-10T17:16:59Z")
In my head, the story continues: “The officer spread plastic sheeting in the back of the cruiser. The suspect slipped out, and was subsequently charged with attempted escape”. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nude-man-covered-in-crisco-seeking-friends/631039/14 "2012-08-10T17:22:04Z")
I wish he was beat up. “Man oiled in Crisco, battered by cops.” ---
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nude-man-covered-in-crisco-seeking-friends/631039/15 "2012-08-10T17:32:43Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I wish he was beat up. > > “Man oiled in Crisco, battered by cops.” chuckle ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nude-man-covered-in-crisco-seeking-friends/631039/16 "2012-08-10T18:48:20Z")
Looking for a place to party where the entry door doesn’t have a knob. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nude-man-covered-in-crisco-seeking-friends/631039/17 "2012-08-10T19:14:44Z")
He wanted to attend the party, but he was too tall to fit through the door. So he set about shortening himself. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nude-man-covered-in-crisco-seeking-friends/631039/18 "2012-08-10T21:03:09Z")
If he was deaf, this would have totally have been life [imitating](http://familyguy.wikia.com/wiki/Greased-up_Deaf_Guy) Family Guy.