# Nuke Canada? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 15, 2004, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183 "2004-07-15T00:59:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sinful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Sinful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinful)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/1 "2004-07-15T00:59:30Z")
They’ve got oil, weed, and they gave us Celinee Dion. Between the natural resources we need to seize and the unspeakable plague of Dion, does Canada deserve to be the next playground for the hydrogen bomb?? ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/2 "2004-07-15T01:08:35Z")
Well, it’s also got my mother, my two brothers, my sister, my nieces and nephews, my aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents and my best friend since my age was in the single digits. You want to evaporate my family for what again? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/3 "2004-07-15T01:18:51Z")
Try it and we’ll unleash the other four Dions. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/4 "2004-07-15T01:49:38Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Try it and we’ll unleash the other four Dions. Waitaminute, I thought you folks were totally opposed to committing acts which violate the letter and spirit of the Geneva Conventions. I mean, dude, that’s just so wrong on so many levels. By doing so, you’d be committing a horrendous war crime _plus_ be destroying the environment in ways that nuke could never do! And I always thought you were such _nice_ people! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/5 "2004-07-15T01:58:12Z")
McKenzie Brothers. Waste 'em. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/6 "2004-07-15T02:03:14Z")
Bummer about that a-bomb, Harold. But, not to worry! I have the handyman’s secret weapon. DUCK TAPE! Remember, if nuclear radiation makes you so lothesome looking that the women don’t find you handsome, make sure they find you handy. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/7 "2004-07-15T02:07:51Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Try it and we’ll unleash the other four Dions. THANK YOU! I miss not living in the homeland. But as to the OP-- try it, and suddenly you’ll be drinking radioactive water… ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/8 "2004-07-15T02:18:26Z")
No! Don’t Nuke Canada! Their beer is so much better than American beer. Budweiser? Miller? I might as well pee into a cup. Gimmee a nice Labatt’s Blue any day 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/9 "2004-07-15T02:30:10Z")
> [@Diceman](#): > > Their beer is so much better than American beer. Good beer comes from Germany. Nuke 'em. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/10 "2004-07-15T02:36:41Z")
_Dammit_ Good beer comes from Germany. Wolverines come from Canada. Nuke 'em. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/11 "2004-07-15T02:43:25Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Try it and we’ll unleash the other four Dions. Which ones are you making into zombies? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/12 "2004-07-15T02:47:45Z")
If you nuke Canada… [ul][li]William Shatner and Celine Dion vwill be unable to go home.[_]You will run out of animators, newscasters, and comedians.[_]Your gay population won’t have anywhere to escape to and then get married in.[_]There will no longer be a buffer state between the USA and St-Pierre et Miquelon, leaving you open to direct attack by the French.[_]You won’t have any maple syrup left. (Vermont will be downwind from the blasts, in case you were thinking of getting around the shortage that way.)[_]Giant starving mutant polar bears will ravage your northern states.[_]There will no longer be a buffer state between the USA and Greenland, leaving you open to direct attack by the Danes _and_ the remaining Inuit.[_]Nanaimo bars will be history.[_]So will poutine.[\*]There will no longer be a buffer state between the USA and the North Pole, leaving you open to direct attack by Santa Claus.[/ul][/li] 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/13 "2004-07-15T02:51:10Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > If you nuke Canada… > > There will no longer be a buffer state between the USA and the North Pole, leaving you open to direct attack by Santa Claus.[/list] > > 🙂 Ah, _shit_. Maybe we’d better rethink this… ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/14 "2004-07-15T04:41:28Z")
Yeah, that Santa Clause is a real bastard. He’s already enslaved one race of people… How about, we nuke Canada, then build a wall. A really, really tall one. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/15 "2004-07-15T04:54:49Z")
Hold the phone here, people…I’m being sent to Montreal on business in a few weeks, so can we either do this in the next couple of days, or hold off until late August? ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/16 "2004-07-15T12:32:31Z")
I hear Saskatchewan will be open soon As vacation Land for Lawyers in loove . . . ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/17 "2004-07-15T12:50:38Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > Yeah, that Santa Clause is a real bastard. He’s already enslaved one race of people… > > How about, we nuke Canada, then build a wall. A really, really tall one. Dude, he’s got those flying reindeer. We’re going to need some ack-ack, too. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/18 "2004-07-15T13:01:06Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > How about, we nuke Canada, then build a wall. A really, really tall one. Yeah, and have Greenpeace all over our ass for preventing the wolverines from migrating to Michigan or Montana or where ever the hell they go. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/19 "2004-07-15T13:33:31Z")
> [@fishbicycle](#): > > Well, it’s also got my mother, my two brothers, my sister, my nieces and nephews, my aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents and my best friend since my age was in the single digits. You want to evaporate my family for what again? For the weed. It’s good stuff up there! ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/20 "2004-07-15T14:03:30Z")
Gah. Does that mean all us Canadian Doper will have to move to the States or be vapourized? Maybe I can hide somewhere north. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183.md?page=2)