# Nuke Canada? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 15, 2004, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183 "2004-07-15T00:59:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/21 "2004-07-15T14:08:40Z")
Can’t we just walk in there, plant a flag and say its ours? Not like there would be any fight. From previous posts it seems they are all drunk or stoned. Or both. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/22 "2004-07-15T15:04:47Z")
> [@](#): > > Nuke Canada! Hey, nuke you too, budday! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/23 "2004-07-15T15:19:56Z")
Three words… hot cold fronts. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/24 "2004-07-15T15:21:56Z")
Nuking somebody so you can take their weed doesn’t make a whole lot of sense; wouldn’t it all get burnt and radioactive? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![JohnM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/848f3c/32.png) [@JohnM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnM)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/25 "2004-07-15T15:31:40Z")
Why stop with Canada? Let’s listen to Randy Newman’s advice: > [@](#): > > We give them money > But are they grateful? > No they’re spiteful > And they’re hateful. > They don’t respect us so let’s surprise them; > We’ll drop the big one and pulverize them. > > Now Asia’s crowded > And Europe’s too old. > Africa’s far too hot, > And Canada’s too cold. > And South America stole our name. > Let’s drop the big one; there’ll be no one left to blame us. ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/26 "2004-07-15T16:41:24Z")
You’ve already done this! [Broken Arrow](http://www.cowtown.net/proweb/brokenarrow2.htm). And again: > [@](#): > > November 10, 1950, St. Lawrence River, St. Alexandre-de-Kamouraska, Canada > > A B-50 bomber was forced to jettison a nuclear weapon containing high explosives (HE) but no nuclear material, causing the HE to detonate on impact. The bomb exploded near the middle of the 12 mile wide St. Lawrence River, rattling the windows of houses across a 25 mile area. > > The accident occurred not long after takeoff when the aircraft lost power in two of its engines during a training flight as it was returning from Labrador, Canada, to its home base at Davis-Monthan AFB in Tucson, Arizona. Although the Pentagon’s 1980 summary of nuclear accidents did not specifically mention the accident’s location other than to say they were “over water, outside the United States,” news reports and eyewitness accounts identified the location as being over the St. Lawrence River near St. Alexandre-de-Kamouraska, Canada. The DoD documents do not mention whether the weapon was recovered. Remember, third time’s a charm! (I think these “duds” were just for practive…) ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/27 "2004-07-15T16:49:36Z")
And those news reports said that the Canadian navy was searching the Great Lakes and St Lawrence for test models of the Avro Arrow! Now we know what they were _really_ looking for… ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/28 "2004-07-15T17:33:18Z")
> [@](#): > > They’ve got oil, weed, and they gave us Celinee Dion. Between the natural resources we need to seize and the unspeakable plague of Dion, does Canada deserve to be the next playground for the hydrogen bomb?? If we nuke 'em, we won’t be able to use the oil. We already have weed, and destroying their government (along with the rest of the country) won’t make our weed legal. I was under the impression that Ms. Dion spends the majority of the year in Las Vegas, NV. yeeesh! If we’re going to start another bash Canada fest, let’s at least be logical about it. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/29 "2004-07-15T17:39:22Z")
> [@Sinful](#): > > …and they gave us Celine Dion. [South Park] Now now, the Canadian government has apoligized for Celine Dion on several occasions. [/SP] ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/30 "2004-07-15T18:28:09Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Nuking somebody so you can take their weed doesn’t make a whole lot of sense; wouldn’t it all get burnt and radioactive? :dubious: Weed inspires these sorts of thoughts. Besides…MUTAGENIC POT, MAN! How’s THAT for mind expanding? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/31 "2004-07-15T19:04:55Z")
Santa is watching. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/32 "2004-07-15T19:23:48Z")
Nuke the Fat Man. Now, while there is still time and we still have our precious bodily fluids. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/33 "2004-07-15T19:57:15Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Yeah, and have Greenpeace all over our ass for preventing the wolverines from migrating to Michigan or Montana or where ever the hell they go. We could put Greenpeace in Canada. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/34 "2004-07-15T20:18:52Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Nuke the Fat Man. \*I said "Hey, listen, Fat Man We’re gonna drop the bomb Because they sent that diva with those awful songs “My brother’s in the armed forces He’s flying to the Pole You’d better get to shelter If you wanna save your soul.” He said “You can’t nuke the Fat Man No, you can’t nuke me You’re just a bully nation And that’s all you’ll ever be.”\* 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/35 "2004-07-15T21:02:50Z")
But wait, what if the wiley Canadians start throwing hockey pucks at us? There’s no time for debate on this. Quickly, locate and shoot Mike Meyers. The invasion has begun. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/36 "2004-07-15T21:21:21Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > - > > You’re just a bully nation > \* Is that anything like a bully pulpit? ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/37 "2004-07-15T23:41:32Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Can’t we just walk in there, plant a flag and say its ours? Not like there would be any fight. From previous posts it seems they are all drunk or stoned. Or both. They kicked our asses the last time we tried. Beaver bites _hurt_. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/38 "2004-07-15T23:47:26Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > They kicked our asses the last time we tried. Beaver bites _hurt_. Let’s not start another vagina dentata thread. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/39 "2004-07-15T23:51:36Z")
I must agree that the Canada’s MADD (Musical Assaulting Dion Destroyers) excededes our own, mere nuclear, variant. Lest we forget, the the on-the-shelf-capacity to clone and distribute Dions and even Anne Murrays, perhaps against the borders of or even from within the American homeland. Canada must live, for now. But the threat is great, and we must have ever more sweeping, unquestioned and unreviewed powers to deal with it. We must be able to indefinitely detain amyome wjp even LOOKS or sounds vaguely Canadian. Or French. We’ll start sweeping up people who wear plaid woodsmen’s shirts, but don’t wear cheesehead hats (to weed out the Wisconsinites). Anybody want in on fun photo sessions late at night in “Camp Hoser”? ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2004, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183/40 "2004-07-16T00:01:42Z")
It’s too late. The infiltration operation is so far advanced that you’re already doomed, even if you nuke us. Besides, you’d be in the fallout pattern. How stupid are you guys, anyways? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-canada/255183.md?page=3)