# Nuke New York
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [August 6, 2014, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942 "2014-08-06T12:20:31Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/1 "2014-08-06T12:20:31Z")
Here’s the situation; the day nerds worldwide have been preparing for has arrived - zombie apocalypse. Zombies (the solanum kind) have been rampaging for months. You and your loved ones have found safety on a US Air Force base.
Naturally, you can fly planes and are asked one day to take up a B2 Spirit. The commanding officer hands you an envelope with the presidential seal that reads “ABOVE TOP SECRET” and instructs you to open it after an hour flying due east. You shrug and take off.
An hour passes and you open the envelope. It outlines the plan - a month ago, teams deployed massive speakers and generators in all major US cities, where the undead naturally congregate. Sound attracts them, as you know. They have loudly announced that survivors should immediately evacuate - the government (or what’s left of it) has also dropped leaflets and made radio broadcasts to this effect.
The generators are about to run out of power. The plan is to attract them all, then using your B2, drop a 340 kiloton B-61 nuke on them. It is signed by the Secretary of Agriculture (the current acting POTUS). It’s now or never - the zombies will start to disperse once the noise stops. Your target is Manhattan, New York City. Do you carry out your orders?
Obviously you cannot guarantee that you will not kill any survivors. During the Great Panic there was no time to evacuate anything of scientific, cultural or historic worth and now it is too dangerous - clearly these will all turn to radioactive slag.
(Inspired by the book _Day by Day Armageddon_ where some cities in Texas get this treatment) Substitute ‘Tahiti’ for a destination of your choice.
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### Author:  [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/2 "2014-08-06T12:26:28Z")
Note to new posters, this is a zombie thread.
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### Author:  [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/3 "2014-08-06T12:40:43Z")
Of course I’d nuke New York.
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Wait!!! There are zombies there? That just makes the decision even easier, is this a trick question?
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### Author:  [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/4 "2014-08-06T12:47:37Z")
I would spray zombie attractant on Amarillo, Texas. Then when all the zombies have congregated there I’d nuke it.
There’d be nothing much to lose and a lot of open space to absorb radiation. It’s a win-win situation.
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### Author:  [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/5 "2014-08-06T12:48:24Z")
I’m assuming, for purposes of this hypothetical, that we [humans] are going to lose the war otherwise. In that case, I think the continued survival of humans as a species overrides the value of any individual one(s) of us.
I say drop the nuke. As justification, I would say the same thing even if I were holed up in Manhattan at the time, unable to get out of the blast radius because of a broken leg.
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### Author:  [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/6 "2014-08-06T13:01:33Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#):
>
> I would spray zombie attractant on Amarillo, Texas. Then when all the zombies have congregated there I’d nuke it.
No reason to make the zombies walk all the way to Texas. If the zombies are attracted to noise, why not just put all those speakers on the other side of the Hudson? Second best case scenario, they all die crossing the river. Best case scenario, we have an excuse to nuke New Jersey.
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### Author:  [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/7 "2014-08-06T13:01:39Z")
I get to nuke zombie New York and watch it burn. Hell yes. There is nothing irreplaceable in New York that we couldn’t live without or recreate and the zombies have to go, so there is no option. Cost of saving mankind. But I am heading to Tahiti because the[Secretary of Agriculture](http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.usda.gov/img/content/09di1006-06final8x10.jpg&imgrefurl=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Vilsack&h=251&w=201&tbnid=tFtH9lZMbZnJeM:&zoom=1&tbnh=160&tbnw=128&usg=__Qa9TN35q_aaf2x5S4AknR64Ckug=&docid=fvPs1s-H-VWl9M&itg=1&sa=X&ei=hibiU5mHGYWkyATi9ICQDg&ved=0CCQQ_B0wAA) kind of creeps me out.
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### Author:  [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/8 "2014-08-06T13:09:29Z")
“When the Secretary of Agriculture does it, that means it is not illegal.”
- Zombie Richard M. Nixon
A) You received orders from the POTUS/Commander-in-Chief.
B) The Air Force base is currently able to deal with, or avoid, contamination.
C) Is Tahiti able to deal with the pandemic (or is it your choice to die in a prettier place)?
Buh bye NYC. Or Chicago. Or Miami.
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### Author:  [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/9 "2014-08-06T13:12:20Z")
Don’t drop, fly to Tahiti.
a) Nuking New York is a stupid plan. If they could lure the zombies somewhere, they could lure them into a wilderness area, or into the ocean (how about speakers on barges offshore?), minimizing collateral damage.
b) Now I’ve got a nuke and a means of delivery. I hereby declare myself King of Tahiti. Winning!!!
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### Author:  [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/10 "2014-08-06T13:25:13Z")
You left out the classical, “Drop the nuke and then kill yourself with your suicide kit” option (with or without the bullfighting nightmares).
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### Author:  [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/11 "2014-08-06T13:30:15Z")
> [@doorhinge](#):
>
> C) Is Tahiti able to deal with the pandemic (or is it your choice to die in a prettier place)?
Just somewhere nice and isolated to ride out your days away from the flesh-eating hordes. Substitute your own choice if French Polynesia isn’t your style.
> [@El\_Kabong](#):
>
> a) Nuking New York is a stupid plan. If they could lure the zombies somewhere, they could lure them into a wilderness area, or into the ocean (how about speakers on barges offshore?), minimizing collateral damage.
The idea being that since cities have the most zombies in and around them you’ll nuke the maximum amount of them if you draw them in, whereas you might not attract that many in Bumfuck, Ohio.
> [@OneCentStamp](#):
>
> I’m assuming, for purposes of this hypothetical, that we [humans] are going to lose the war otherwise. In that case, I think the continued survival of humans as a species overrides the value of any individual one(s) of us.
Things have deteriorated to the point that it’s their best plan but by no means guarantees human survival, or may even hinder it depending on how you look at it.
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### Author:  [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/12 "2014-08-06T19:42:35Z")
We couldn’t lure them to New Jersey??
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### Author:  [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/13 "2014-08-06T19:55:30Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#):
>
> No reason to make the zombies walk all the way to Texas. If the zombies are attracted to noise, why not just put all those speakers on the other side of the Hudson? Second best case scenario, they all die crossing the river. Best case scenario, we have an excuse to nuke New Jersey.
But zombies are already dead. If they got in the river they’d just drift someplace else and come ashore there. And if World War Z is to be believed, they’ll stay active underwater.
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### Author:  [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/14 "2014-08-06T19:57:46Z")
Drop the nuke on NYC; the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
I don’t think a B-2 has the range to fly to NY and then to Tahiti, though. The base would probably fuel you up with only the fuel required for the mission (i.e., Whiteman AFB in Missouri to NYC and back.)
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### Author:  [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/15 "2014-08-06T20:00:38Z")
(duplicate post)
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### Author:  [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/16 "2014-08-06T20:07:31Z")
Fuck a B-2. If I’m flying missions, it will be in a fighter. The B-61 can be dropped from F-15Es, probably from F-111s, and maybe F-16s. I filmed several drops when I was in the Air Force.
As for the mission? Roger that. Master arm to arm. Oak-man is in hot. Weapons free.
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### Author:  [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/17 "2014-08-06T20:07:36Z")
I’m flying the plane. The fuckin’ bombardier has to drop the nuke! You expect me to do _everything?_
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### Author:  [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/18 "2014-08-06T20:25:50Z")
I’d drop the nuke, in a scenario like this why would you even blink?
Now in a non-zombie Fail Safe scenario I would be more hesitant but if it was New York or Global Thermonuclear War I think I could do it.
However if it was just a countervalue mission in a nuclear war I wouldn’t.
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### Author:  [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/19 "2014-08-06T20:49:18Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#):
>
> Best case scenario, we have an excuse to nuke New Jersey.
_New Jersey_ is the excuse to nuke New Jersey
> [@Typo\_Negative](#):
>
> We couldn’t lure them to New Jersey??
even mindless, brain-dead zombies have _some_ smarts.
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### Author:  [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2014, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nuke-new-york/694942/20 "2014-08-06T20:55:17Z")
“The matador! The matador! I am the matador!”
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