# Number of sexual partners **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 17, 2011, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193 "2011-11-17T01:12:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2011, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/121 "2011-11-19T18:12:41Z")
> [@codgerone](#): > > Anyone else care to share? Female, 53 years old. I’ve lived with 5 men for a year or so each except for the love of my life, with whom I lived for about 7 years, we were together for 10. Engaged for most of that time, never married. Over my lifetime I’ve had some kind of significant sex with approximately 90 people, 10-12 of whom were female. The vast, vast majority of those encounters were during the first 10 years I was sexually active, 16-26, 1974-1984. Between AIDS and general maturity, I lost interest in meaningless sex. As I write this, and excepting a one-afternoon stand with an ex-flame in December 2007, January will mark five years since the last time I was sexually intimate with anyone. Not by choice. ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2011, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/122 "2011-11-19T18:13:18Z")
1. First one at age 26. Last one 6 years ago. I hope to make it 7 someday. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2011, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/123 "2011-11-19T18:17:15Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > No female orgasm I’ve experienced fucking has ever compared to one from oral. Intercourse is wonderful, and a great way to be close, but it really is not all that effective in bringing a woman off, mostly because most positions are not all that great at stimulating the clitoris. As a woman who was sure orgasm during intercourse was impossible until I was 37 years old and learned differently, I have to say that my experience is exactly the opposite. Orgasms from oral or manual stimulation are swell, but the orgasms from intercourse were mind-blowingly spectacular. ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/124 "2011-11-19T18:23:21Z")
Male, 47. Married 18 years. A baker’s dozen of partners for intercourse, maybe 6-7 more for other post-kissing activities stopping shy of doing the deed. ---
**Author:** ![codgerone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c37758/32.png) [@codgerone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/codgerone)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2011, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/125 "2011-11-19T20:39:43Z")
Interesting answers and thanks to all who posted (especially those who took my side against unfounded accusations of “willy waving”) Sorry, had to get that one in. I’m recently single again so all you unsatisfied females who posted please pm me asap. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Peeta\_Mellark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Peeta\_Mellark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peeta_Mellark)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/126 "2011-11-20T00:55:04Z")
Male, twenty-one. I lost my virginity at sixteen in a threesome, have had two real relationships, and have screwed around/one night standed/slutted with about fifty people. One relationship lasted about a year, the other one I’ve been in going on a year now, though we started sleeping together before we called it a relationship. ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/127 "2011-11-20T01:47:09Z")
Gay male. 1I’ll estimate about 1000. I’m including any sex act which resulted in orgasm. ---
**Author:** ![ASanders](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asanders/32/3367_2.png) [@ASanders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASanders)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/128 "2011-11-20T02:34:59Z")
Female, 49. Started at 17. Married now for 16 years, totally faithful. First LTR/marriage lasted a total of 8 years, totally faithful. Before and between these marriages there were: 3 moderately serious relationships, 2 brief FWB situations, and a good handful of travel-inspired flings and alcohol-fueled ONSs. Maybe 16-20 total. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/129 "2011-11-20T03:29:36Z")
> [@Peeta\_Mellark](#): > > Male, twenty-one. I lost my virginity at sixteen in a threesome, have had two real relationships, and have screwed around/one night standed/slutted with about fifty people. > > One relationship lasted about a year, the other one I’ve been in going on a year now, though we started sleeping together before we called it a relationship. You’ve been a busy bee. I hope you play safe. I hope everyone does. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/130 "2011-11-20T04:05:27Z")
Female, 48. I’d have to estimate ~25 since losing my virginity at 18. Two were long term SOs (9 and 8 years respectively) a handful were one night stands, several short term (less than a year) and a couple of FWB. ---
**Author:** ![CatherineZeta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@CatherineZeta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatherineZeta)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/131 "2011-11-20T05:18:13Z")
Female, 22. Lost my virginity at 16. Since then I’ve had actual sex with 3 people. If we’re counting other types of sexual activity, the number goes up to 7, as far as I can recall. ETA: Only one of the people I had sex with was a boyfriend. Another one was a one night stand, the other was a friends with benefits type of situation. ---
**Author:** ![maikai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/53a042/32.png) [@maikai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maikai)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/132 "2011-11-20T08:22:01Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > When you see people who have fucked like 200 people do you get slightly jealous at all? I’m a soon to be 32 year old virgin and I definitely get slightly jealous if by slightly jealous you mean burning with envy. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/133 "2011-11-20T08:54:46Z")
> [@Bibliothecarius](#): > > Yeah, something like that. This is what they mean by “power bottom.” > I would assume looooots of lube and, well, if he’s that much of a slut, I suppose he’d be used to it. Heh, every time I hear the term “power bottom” I’m gleefully reminded of this great clip from Always Sunny. Just trust me and watch it: [http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=361205&title=bears-and-twinks](http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=361205&title=bears-and-twinks) I don’t really know my number because I don’t write these things down and I have a selective memory. Times where the guy got off prematurely don’t count, neither does oral, and neither do times I’d rather forget, lol. So yeah, somewhere between 75 and 100. Not that it requires further explanation, but I was single until I was 32, so I think that’s perfectly reasonable. However, before we got married I was really concerned that my husband hadn’t sown enough oats. He had gotten married really young to his first wife, and only had about a year between his divorce and meeting me. So, he’s probably only had 5-10 partners, and that’s fine, but I didn’t want him to get married with any regrets so I told him to go sew another oat. He wouldn’t do it, but I was dead serious. Luckily, it’s all worked out fine and turns out he didn’t need to sew that last oat, haha. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/134 "2011-11-20T09:04:29Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > When you see people who have fucked like 200 people do you get slightly jealous at all? I’m not jealous of the numbers, and since I don’t know you I’m not jealous that you’ve had sex with anyone in particular. I am jealous that you (generic you) seem to know something that I don’t; how to communicate, socialize, interact, give out or receive subtle clues, all of which I seem to have no awareness of. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/135 "2011-11-20T10:31:03Z")
> [@FlyByNight512](#): > > The question I was answering is “When you see people who have fucked like 200 people do you get slightly jealous at all?”, so keep in mind that my response is my thoughts on the topic and not anything scientifically rigorous. Considering the nature of topic, it’s really more emotional than logical anyway. But if you want to know how I arrived at that conclusion, it’s below. (Spoilered for possible TMI. You may or may not want to know what goes on in my head here.) > > I’ve only had one partner, sure, but my conclusion that emotional intimacy is the better part of sex comes from the following two data points: When sex with my husband doesn’t quite work right and I don’t climax, it’s still wonderful and fulfilling. Climaxing alone (aka masturbation, religious types aren’t always against it) feels pleasant enough, but it’s just scratching a physical itch and there’s nothing particularly wonderful about it. When I say that people who’ve had 200 partners are missing the point, I’m guessing that the great majority of those are one night stands, and I feel a little sad that they may not be experiencing the full joy of what sex can be with a committed partner. It seems to me like a way less than ideal way to live. > > YMMV, obviously, and you can chalk it up to me being a) female, b) religious, and c) inexperienced if you like. This is just what goes on in my head during conversations like this. Thanks for your thoughtful reply **FlyByNight**. As you’ve said, sex is a journey that doesn’t always arrive at an orgasm - but what a ride! There’s nothing ‘sad’ about sex with someone you’re not in a long term, committed relationship with: the relationship _is_ the sex; what you are both committed to is the sex. Great sex can be had without the proviso of any kind of enduring emotional dependency. There is no denying that your situation is ideal for you - and that’s great. Keep in mind that we _all_ basically choose what suits us best, and the lifestyles we’re privy to in this thread are the ones ideal to those they belong to. Ain’t nothin’ ‘sad’ about any of it. ALL of it is a celebration of each of us as sexual beings, however we choose to express that. ---
**Author:** ![Peeta\_Mellark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Peeta\_Mellark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peeta_Mellark)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/136 "2011-11-20T15:49:45Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > You’ve been a busy bee. I hope you play safe. I hope everyone does. If people are only counting P in V or P in A, that drops my number to five. I really enjoy oral though, and as a mostly gay guy, it’s not that hard to get or give a blow job from a new person every few weeks. Really, I’m downright chaste compared to a lot of gay men I know. The random hookups and fooling around are just a step above masturbating for me. It’s more satisfying than solo, but the real fun has been in my relationships. We have time to get to know each other and learn things and experiment. If you’re just getting together to get off with a virtual stranger, it’s not really the time to break out “Oh, hey, wouldn’t it be fun if you put on this Little Bo Peep outfit and let me spank you with this shepherd’s crook?” I mean… So I’ve heard. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/137 "2011-11-20T23:39:05Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I’m not jealous of the numbers, and since I don’t know you I’m not jealous that you’ve had sex with anyone in particular. I am jealous that you (generic you) seem to know something that I don’t; how to communicate, socialize, interact, give out or receive subtle clues, all of which I seem to have no awareness of. Not having to worry about subtle clues is one of the benefits of being gay. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/138 "2011-11-21T01:24:19Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > Not having to worry about subtle clues is one of the benefits of being gay. Oh, I still wouldn’t notice. There used to be someone in my circle of friends who hung out with someone who was flamingly gay. Like [Men on Film](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWdL9mrYNmQ) gay. I had no idea. Got teased about that for a while; eventually came up with the perfect comeback, and got a chance to use it. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/139 "2011-11-21T01:39:12Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Oh, I still wouldn’t notice. There used to be someone in my circle of friends who hung out with someone who was flamingly gay. Like [Men on Film](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWdL9mrYNmQ) gay. I had no idea. > > Got teased about that for a while; eventually came up with the perfect comeback, and got a chance to use it. What was that comeback, **Robot Arm**? You know, if someone you find attractive offers to remove that pesky virginity for you, maybe you should consider it. In my opinion, it isn’t an offer of pity or charity; after all, the risks and potential benefits are the same for both you and her. I can see the appeal of ensuring a nice guy’s first experience is a good one, and it’s highly likely that anyone who makes a serious proposition to you is turned on by the idea. It may not arise from true love, or result in true love, but should be a mutually beneficial event either way. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/140 "2011-11-21T01:42:01Z")
70-something. Lost track right around the time I realllly slowed down. 😛 All in all, it’s only 2-3 partners a year. Of course, during most of the last 30 years I’ve been in one relationship or another, so it’s more some really busy years vs. some relationship time. It wasn’t til a few years ago that I actually had a dry spell. :eek: But the percentage of people I’m attracted to has always been low, and yeah, I really need to be hot for someone to go there. And the hotness factor comes with intimacy, generally, so…combine all that with an introverted nature, and my boinking pool is fairly small. Not that it matters now, as I’m married and can have sex any time I want. 😃 :dubious: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193.md?page=8)