# Number of sexual partners **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 17, 2011, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193 "2011-11-17T01:12:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/141 "2011-11-21T02:06:37Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > What was that comeback, **Robot Arm**? Ron was in my circle of friends since college. The flaming guy he used to hang out with was William. At one point, William said this was the first time he had stayed friends with someone he broke up with. I mentioned later to another friend that I hadn’t realized they were a couple, and William found out about that. He thought it was hysterical. Every now and then he’d say “Eric, you may not know this, but Ron and I are gay lovers.” Fast forward six months. About a dozen of us are out for brunch. (Mae’s Phinney Ridge Cafe, if there are any old-time Seattle dopers reading.) I’m sitting next to Ron, William is at the far end of the table. William: “Eric, I don’t know if anyone’s told you, but Ron and I are homosexual lovers.” Me: “Ron, is that true?” Ron: (slightly sheepishly) “Well, yes.” In the loudest and most lisping voice I could manage: **“YOU SWORE TO ME IT WAS OVER WITH HIM, YOU BITCH!”** I saw looks on my friend’s faces I have not seen before or since. > [@](#): > > You know, if someone you find attractive offers to remove that pesky virginity for you, maybe you should consider it. If I get a sincere offer, of course I’ll consider it. If. ---
**Author:** ![Euryphaessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Euryphaessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euryphaessa)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/142 "2011-11-21T03:02:32Z")
I am a 22 year old lady-type. 4 partners since losing my PIV virginity at age 20, although there was a boy and a girl before that with whom I fooled around. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/143 "2011-11-21T04:00:52Z")
> [@Lancia](#): > > Assuming no sleep, that means a different dude every 15 minutes. For 48 hours straight. > > Not being gay I’m not really sure, but wouldn’t the recipient be sore? Hell, wouldn’t the recipient need surgery? Guys like that were usually on one or more drugs at the time, and wouldn’t have been aware of need for medical attention until they came down. Plus, I suspect some level of OCD, at which the compulsive behavior trumps all other considerations. ---
**Author:** ![obbn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/d6d6ee/32.png) [@obbn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obbn)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/144 "2011-11-21T04:04:49Z")
Male 45, lost my virginity on prom night of all nights at 17. My wife and I have had this discussion before about how many partners. I feel somewhat embarassed as I can’t remember some of them and I certainly don’t remember all their names. My best guess would be around 25 to 30. I guess I would really have to think about it hard to get an exact number. ---
**Author:** ![ProbablyProcrastinating](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@ProbablyProcrastinating](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ProbablyProcrastinating)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/145 "2011-11-21T07:31:01Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Oh, I still wouldn’t notice. There used to be someone in my circle of friends who hung out with someone who was flamingly gay. Like [Men on Film](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWdL9mrYNmQ) gay. I had no idea. > > Got teased about that for a while; eventually came up with the perfect comeback, and got a chance to use it. Seattle men have to have good gaydar. I can see how this level of social awkwardness could lead to eternal virginity. God I hope all you hundreds-plus folks, especially if you are taking it as well, are using condoms. Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/146 "2011-11-21T08:37:47Z")
I know, there was this girl I knew who had a goal of some number (thirty? 100?) before she turned twenty five. I asked if she used condoms and she replied: “Usually.” Then got offended when I asked if she’d been tested for STD’s. Did I think she was some kind of\* slut?\* Well, since you ask …\* \*Not the number, the attitude ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/147 "2011-11-21T09:15:26Z")
Just to satisfy my curiosity **maggenpye** , what is a ‘slut attitude’? If a slut is not defined by the number, can a woman with less than 5 sexual partners have this attitude and therefore be deemed a slut? Enquiring minds need to know!! Well, mine anyway… ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/148 "2011-11-21T09:30:37Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > Just to satisfy my curiosity **maggenpye** , what is a ‘slut attitude’? > > If a slut is not defined by the number, can a woman with less than 5 sexual partners have this attitude and therefore be deemed a slut? > > Enquiring minds need to know!! > > Well, mine anyway… “I want to fuck X men before Y date” is slutty, another friend I had at the same time probably fucked a similar number of men, but was utterly convinced that each and every one was the love of her life (or week) - not slutty, she _cared_ about them. It was definitely _that_ girl’s attitude - she couldn’t have given you half the names and she never did get herself checked, so she may have been passing on disease. They were just notches on her bed post - I feel the same lack of respect for guys who behave the same way. ---
**Author:** ![FlyByNight512](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@FlyByNight512](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyByNight512)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/149 "2011-11-21T17:29:59Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > Keep in mind that we _all_ basically choose what suits us best, and the lifestyles we’re privy to in this thread are the ones ideal to those they belong to. Er, yes. I tried to make it very clear that these are my own thoughts and feelings based on my own experiences, not any kind of judgement. I find it a bit offensive that you’re now trying to ‘educate’ me and inform me that my opinion is wrong and ‘sad’ is an inappropriate emotion to feel under these circumstances. Unrelated to the above and just for fun, let’s flip the question around. What do those of you who have had many partners think when you hear people saying they’ve only had one? Jealousy? Pity? ‘Meh’? ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/150 "2011-11-21T17:33:15Z")
> [@FlyByNight512](#): > > Unrelated to the above and just for fun, let’s flip the question around. What do those of you who have had many partners think when you hear people saying they’ve only had one? Jealousy? Pity? ‘Meh’? Definitely not jealousy. Indifference would be most accurate. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/151 "2011-11-21T17:40:33Z")
Having single digits worth of experience, I wonder (slightly) what observations the folks with “hundreds” could offer. (“everybody likes this”, “variations in color are dramatic”, “after awhile they all look the same”) ---
**Author:** ![ProbablyProcrastinating](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@ProbablyProcrastinating](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ProbablyProcrastinating)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/152 "2011-11-21T18:31:09Z")
A slut attitude is sleeping with people without taking their health and feelings into consideration. It doesn’t matter how many, so long as you are using protection, being mature about the STD talk, and making sure that the other person is just as okay with a casual encounter as you are. Yes, you can know: if you’ve slept with 15 people you’ve GOT to have developed a sense for the type that is going to call you back, hurt that it wasn’t serious… just don’t sleep with that person. Anyway, to me that’s what makes the difference between a slut/manwhore and a person who just really likes variety. I met someone who used condoms at the beginning of relationships. I’m like… so, you think that the condom kills all the latent STDs in that person, or what??? Argh. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/153 "2011-11-21T21:07:32Z")
> [@ProbablyProcrastinating](#): > > …I met someone who used condoms at the beginning of relationships. I’m like… so, you think that the condom kills all the latent STDs in that person, or what??? Argh. So… it’s better to use condoms only at the _end_ of relationships? :dubious: Even one unprotected sexual act can net you an STD, up to and including HIV/AIDS. Condoms aren’t 100% effective, but they’re quite a bit safer than bareback. ---
**Author:** ![ProbablyProcrastinating](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@ProbablyProcrastinating](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ProbablyProcrastinating)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/154 "2011-11-21T21:11:45Z")
I don’t see the point unless you use them up to the point where you both have an STD test and get the results, let’s say, for a week or two. Otherwise, it’s every time baby, every time… ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/155 "2011-11-21T21:15:22Z")
People are not sluts. Behavior can absolutely be slutty. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2011, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/156 "2011-11-22T03:15:07Z")
> [@FlyByNight512](#): > > Unrelated to the above and just for fun, let’s flip the question around. What do those of you who have had many partners think when you hear people saying they’ve only had one? Jealousy? Pity? ‘Meh’? Whatever works for them. Sex with one person ever in life is not for me, but if it is for them then it’s their life and their choice just like I have my life and my choices. My brother will probably only have sex with one person in his life. Hell, he never even kissed his wife until the wedding. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2011, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/157 "2011-11-22T03:26:59Z")
> [@FlyByNight512](#): > > Unrelated to the above and just for fun, let’s flip the question around. What do those of you who have had many partners think when you hear people saying they’ve only had one? Jealousy? Pity? ‘Meh’? If they’re in a long-term relationship with the “one and only” person they’ve been with, then they’re very lucky. Like I said upthread, I had to kiss a lot of frogs before I found my prince (and he had kissed even more than I had, in spite of being 20 years younger). All’s well that ends well. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2011, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/158 "2011-11-22T08:12:01Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > People are not sluts. Behavior can absolutely be slutty. Yeah? Well we shall have to disagree on that - if she’d been behaving teacherly I’d have called her a teacher. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2011, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/159 "2011-11-22T14:01:59Z")
> [@FlyByNight512](#): > > Er, yes. I tried to make it very clear that these are my own thoughts and feelings based on my own experiences, not any kind of judgement. I find it a bit offensive that you’re now trying to ‘educate’ me and inform me that my opinion is wrong and ‘sad’ is an inappropriate emotion to feel under these circumstances. > Unrelated to the above and just for fun, let’s flip the question around. What do those of you who have had many partners think when you hear people saying they’ve only had one? Jealousy? Pity? ‘Meh’? I see nothing ‘offensive’ about my post at all - it was a perspective, not an attempt to ‘educate.’ Nowhere did I say that your opinion is ‘wrong.’ Saying that it is ‘sad’ for others who have a different experience to you (that they are “missing” something) _is_ being judgmental - or patronising; though I understand that wasn’t the intention of your post. What do I think of people who have had only one partner? The same thing I think of someone who’s only ever read one author, I guess. Which is, “Oh.” ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2011, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193/160 "2011-11-22T14:58:53Z")
I’m female, 39, and lost my virginity at 16. The last time I tried to count how many partners I’d had I kept coming up with a different number. I think it’s somewhere between 17-25. I haven’t tried to count in several years (though in those years the number hasn’t changed, and isn’t going to as I’m married and plan to stay that way) and honestly just don’t feel like trying to count again right now. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/603193.md?page=9)