# Number of Sexual Partners **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 25, 2001, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653 "2001-09-25T07:51:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Beltane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@Beltane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beltane)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653/141 "2001-10-04T15:52:08Z")
> [@](#): > > Some of the posters here who have sex hundreds of times would be virgins by this definition. er… I _meant_ to say "Some of the posters here who have has sex \*with hundreds of people \* would be virgins by this definition. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653/142 "2001-10-04T20:34:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bnorton \* > **Additionally, keep in mind that gays and bisexuals only make up from 2% to 10% of the population (depending on who’s counting). That would further dilute the influence of same sex relationships.** Granted, but I’m sure the percentage of non-straight people on this message board is way higher given that The Straight Dope – the sponsor of this site and the gateway to it for many posters – is typically carried in urban alternative weekly newspapers which would naturally have a high gay readership. As for the definition of sex, as a straight man who grew up in the burbs of a mid-sized city, my definition of sex (which was the commonly accepted one growing up) includes only genital-genital penetration or genital-anal penetration. Anything else is just fooling around. The only reason I included these encounters in my original tally post was because others clearly had and I wanted to keep any measurements consistent. (Also, I didn’t want to just respons “1.” I have some pride.) –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Beltane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@Beltane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beltane)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653/143 "2001-10-04T20:51:32Z")
> [@](#): > > As for the definition of sex, as a straight man who grew up in the burbs of a mid-sized city, my definition of sex (which was the commonly accepted one growing up) includes only genital-genital penetration or genital-anal penetration So under this definition, a lesbian who had not at least “experimented” with hetrosex would then be a virgin? (I am not trying to be hostile, I am just honestly curious) ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653/144 "2001-10-04T21:15:33Z")
Female. 28 years old. 0 partners, no matter which definition you use. Do I have a problem with this? I really don’t, although I don’t really mention it, because other people seem to have a problem with it. Do I get…er… distracted? Sure, but not as much as I did a few years ago. I’m pretty confident that my sex drive is still there, ready to be reawakened if the time ever comes. If not, no big deal. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653/145 "2001-10-04T21:40:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bnorton \* > **Bill Clinton notwithstanding, most men will count oral sex as sex, but maybe women wouldn’t. Still, perhaps saying someone is lying is a bit strong, but they are still fudging.]** I wouldn’t. I consider sex to be actual penal penetration into the vagina (or anus). Everything else is just foreplay. ---
**Author:** ![seawitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@seawitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seawitch)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653/146 "2001-10-04T22:12:30Z")
Well, as one of the women who posted a high number of partners, I’m defining sex partners as genital-genital or genital-anal penetration. Since I never had sex with a woman, I don’t have to worry about the tricky areas in the definition. Also, the number wouldn’t change much if we used occasions of oral sex only in the definition of partner. I don’t do things by halvsies, nor do I “fudge” the numbers. ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653/147 "2001-10-04T23:24:10Z")
Trivial sidenote: My definition includes any stimulation of the genital areas that leads to orgasm. But in my case, the varied definitions are not a factor. _Every_ time I’ve given or received oral sex, it’s led to intercourse. Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653/148 "2001-10-05T17:54:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Beltane \* > \*\*So under this definition, a lesbian who had not at least “experimented” with hetrosex would then be a virgin? (I am not trying to be hostile, I am just honestly curious) \*\* I admit that it gets confusing at this point, but I’d say yes, she would. In fact, I used to feel sorry for lesbians because they couldn’t ever receive a good rogering. Since I saw “Chasing Amy,” I’ve reconsiderd somewhat. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653/149 "2001-10-05T18:09:55Z")
I think the people who are sidestepping the number-of-partners issue by defining sex as penetration are ignoring part of the OP–does one’s sexual history affect one’s relationships? I think it does. Person 1: So, have you had many partners? Person 2: Oh, no. I’m a virgin. But I’ve given blowjobs to about 250 people… ---
**Author:** ![whistlepig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/73ab20/32.png) [@whistlepig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whistlepig)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653/150 "2001-10-05T20:07:15Z")
Male, 39, Single (again, dammit), somewhere around 14 females, 0 males. Problems - yeah. I spent a few years in relationships with older (7-16 years) women who knew what they liked, what I liked and all kinds of things to try. My last relationship was three years of “lights out, missionary, and now to sleep”. So I’m glad for the variety of experience, but it sure made it tough with someone we didn’t know, didn’t care and didn’t want to. This thread did remind me of the David Lee Roth line, “I haven’t had every woman I wanted, but I’ve wanted every woman I’ve had.” ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2001, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653/151 "2001-10-07T20:30:34Z")
I wasn’t going to post to this thread but seeing how many others confessed, I guess I will. 39 year old hetero single female. I counted 32 partners, all male, but I may have missed one or two. No desire to be with a female. Married at age 18, with two under my belt before the guy I married. No one other than my husband for the 10 years we were married. The rest have been between the divorce and now, with more to come in the future. Haven’t really had any dry spells, but some periods have been more active than others. 😉 No problems. No STDs. Some have been with men I loved, others have been men I really liked, others have been just something that felt right at the time, and a few others were purely for sexual gratification. All types have fantastic merits! 😉 I do not feel that sex is wrong or bad and if two consenting adults want to screw each others lights out, then why not, as long as there isn’t a third party that will be hurt (i.e. an unknowing spouse)? I love to make love, to have sex, to fuck. There is a time place for it all. At 39 years old, I know what I like, know what I want, and don’t feel ashamed when I get it. No apologies or excuses from me. ---
**Author:** ![B.Serum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/b.serum/32/14266_2.png) [@B.Serum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B.Serum)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653/152 "2001-10-08T02:29:45Z")
I am a guy. I am thirty. I am single. I have had sex with 9 women. There have been no problems as a result of the number of partners I’ve had, nor would I expect there to be with what I think is a fairly low number. Brief Editoral: I’m probably in a minority of guys who are not out to nail everyone remotely attractive on two legs. If I want to get my rocks off, I get my rocks off, solo. When I am “making love,” it is with someone I care about and want to spend a lot of time with and mutual satisfaction/ecstacy is the goal. Maybe even a little bit of “their satisfaction takes priority over mine.” I don’t at all condem or raise an eyebrow to people with many partners unless someone is getting hurt in the process. Two of very my best friends (1 male, 1 female) “get around” and I can get envious of it, wishing I could just “loosen up.” But at the same time, I don’t know that that’s for me – I have had first and second-hand experience with how the sex thing can really fuck (pun intended) with people’s emotions. ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653/153 "2001-10-08T03:11:25Z")
female, 35 years old, married, 7 partners No problems. ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Defense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Civil\_Defense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Defense)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653/154 "2001-10-08T05:50:05Z")
male, 17, 5 partners (4 male, 1 female) ---
**Author:** ![scampering\_gremlin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@scampering\_gremlin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scampering_gremlin)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653/155 "2001-10-08T06:37:53Z")
female, single, not telling 😉 There are plenty of people in the world who still believe in double standards. Why should I give them an excuse to discriminate against me? ---
**Author:** ![sataninblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/0ea827/32.png) [@sataninblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sataninblue)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653/156 "2002-03-19T09:24:39Z")
me: 20/female/ single/ 15 penetration other…ahhh i’ll have to get back to you on that… yes so i spent most of my freshman year of college on my back… other then that no problems except that as of yet no one has quenched my desires… not a hint just an observation… roommate: 19/female/single/ 0 problems: “just cuz i didn’t go all the way doesn’t mean i didn’t have any fun” kinda makes for interesting conversations…😛 ---
**Author:** ![Mondeo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Mondeo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mondeo)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653/157 "2002-03-19T10:21:01Z")
male 43, living with the same women for 3 years now, I lost count after around 90 partners, my gf has only had around 7 (I’m not exactly sure of her number) The amount of my partners has never caused a problem, and is not a problem for my gf now! ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653/158 "2002-03-19T10:27:14Z")
Male, 20, single, 1 partner… but only oral sex. My one partner was considerably more experienced than me (I never asked how many). I had no problem with that. I did, however, have a problem with her finding another one while we were together… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-of-sexual-partners/83653.md?page=7)