# Number ONE reason I'm glad I don't have a penis **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 29, 2005, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450 "2005-10-29T09:12:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![soulmurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@soulmurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulmurk)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/21 "2005-10-29T19:55:49Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > Even if drunk off my ass, as long as my ass can find the toilet seat, I won’ t spray piss all over Greater Mississippi. If your ass can find the toilet seat, you’re not really drunk off of it. And all that assumes some penis owner didn’t leave the toilet seat up. ---
**Author:** ![Plynck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/22 "2005-10-29T20:23:13Z")
_“The vagina, mightier than the sword?”_ Just doesn’t have the same ring. ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/23 "2005-10-29T20:27:21Z")
> [@Duke of Rat](#): > > Can you spell your name with pee? [sure anyone can!](http://www.pi.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/bianca/home.html) ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/24 "2005-10-29T20:28:32Z")
ok sorry that link didnt really work, once it loads if you click on snow that was what I was talking about :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/25 "2005-10-29T20:34:39Z")
Well, [here’s some of the specialized talents of a vagina](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=341954), but I don’t have a listing of the specialized talents of a penis. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/26 "2005-10-29T20:36:42Z")
> [@Happy Lendervedder](#): > > Number ONE reason I’m glad I don’t have a vagina: > > That bleeding thing. That’s Red Vag of Courage to you, mister. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/27 "2005-10-29T20:42:35Z")
> [@Susie Derkins](#): > > That’s Red Vag of Courage to you, mister. I thought it was, “Oh, thank God! I’m **not** pregnant!” ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/28 "2005-10-29T20:52:33Z")
My number one reason: multiple orgasms. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/29 "2005-10-29T21:21:23Z")
> [@](#): > > My number one reason: multiple orgasms. > > That is all. You win. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/30 "2005-10-29T21:26:38Z")
> [@Revenant Threshold](#): > > You win. I’d ask for a cookie, but I’ve already got one. Maybe I should ask for a banana instead. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/31 "2005-10-29T22:11:36Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > Well, [here’s some of the specialized talents of a vagina](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=341954), but I don’t have a listing of the specialized talents of a penis. For your [edification](http://www.puppetryofthepenis.com/). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/32 "2005-10-29T22:18:45Z")
> [@](#): > > I’d ask for a cookie, but I’ve already got one. You have multiple orgasms AND a cookie? Bah. Some people have all the luck. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/33 "2005-10-29T22:24:08Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > Well one is hypothetical; one is obvious. You’ll have to prove your pants are too tight. Naw, this is MPSIMS not GD or the Pit, we don’t need cites. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/34 "2005-10-29T22:37:05Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > My number one reason: multiple orgasms. > > That is all. Guys can have both extended and multiple orgasms. (The trick is to not ejaculate, for that stops further orgasms for a while.) ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/35 "2005-10-29T22:42:14Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Guys can have both extended and multiple orgasms. (The trick is to not ejaculate, for that stops further orgasms for a while.) And if _she’s_ really talented with her hoo ha, it’s pretty easy for us guys to experience multiples as well. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/36 "2005-10-29T22:44:40Z")
> [@FaerieBeth](#): > > Aside from the fact that, at my house, I am the painter, driver, and ladder climber. Then how do you hang on? Are vagina’s prehensile? > [@](#): > > The human with the penis, here, is the computer programmer, tech services, snake-killing, trash-taker-outer. I will thank you to not use the terms “penis” and “snake-killing” in the same paragraph. Such a juxtaposition causes such severe shrinkage, which at the wrong time will cause a penis to let go, resulting in falls from ladders, car crashes, and abstract paintings. In other words, penis will ensue. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/37 "2005-10-29T22:51:00Z")
I must admit, though, that having a penis in a home with kittens was a drawback. There I was, happily sleeping, only to wake in pain and horror. Seems that little kittie beasties had been thinking “SNAKE! SNAKE! IT’S A SNAKE!”, and then proceeded to badger my penis. I took to sleeping in jeans for a few months. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/38 "2005-10-29T22:56:30Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Guys can have both extended and multiple orgasms. (The trick is to not ejaculate, for that stops further orgasms for a while.) How many? I can get 27 in an hour, at least recently. I’ve been known to have more. I’m not quite that talented with the hoo-hah yet, since the husband poops out after about four or five. But they must be _pretty_ good, since he’s usually crawling out of bed, begging for mercy. 😃😉 ---
**Author:** ![wonderlust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonderlust/32/7237_2.png) [@wonderlust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonderlust)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/39 "2005-10-29T23:10:06Z")
While I don’t have a penis, I would really really love to have a penis…in bed beside me. Tonight please. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450/40 "2005-10-29T23:14:02Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > I can get 27 in an hour, at least recently. I’ve been known to have more. > > I’m not quite that talented with the hoo-hah yet, since the husband poops out after about four or five. But they must be pretty good, since he’s usually crawling out of bed, begging for mercy. 😃😉 I think we’ve found that weapon of mass destruction they were all searching for… _flees in terror_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/number-one-reason-im-glad-i-dont-have-a-penis/328450.md?page=3)