# Nurses and Sex - Not a Myth? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 13, 2010, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nurses-and-sex-not-a-myth/532317 "2010-03-13T00:49:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Monstera\_deliciosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monstera_deliciosa/32/109_2.png) [@Monstera\_deliciosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstera_deliciosa)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nurses-and-sex-not-a-myth/532317/21 "2010-03-13T04:51:33Z")
> [@Arnold\_Winkelried](#): > > The article says: “A union representing Dutch nurses will launch a national campaign Friday **against** demands for sexual services by patients who claim it should be part of their standard care.” (bolding mine) > You say: “IF what this article says is true, those nurses are not acting professionally or ethically.” > I totally disagree with you and am surprised you would be saying that. That’s all. Third paragraph of the article: > [@](#): > > **The young woman witnessed some of the man’s other nurses offering him sexual gratification,** the union said. When she refused to do the same, he tried to dismiss her on the grounds that she was unfit to provide care. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nurses-and-sex-not-a-myth/532317/22 "2010-03-13T06:26:01Z")
Opus Dei owned Universidad de Navarra used to impose Opus Dei dress codes on female students, including “trousers are forbidden”. The first place where this ended was the teaching hospital: the dresses worn by nurses and nursing students went down almost to the ankle, but the smocks of female medical students were the same as those worn by male medical students - just below the knee. After a couple of ancient patients fell off their beds trying to look up the students’ skirts, female medical students were issued slacks. I understand it’s all been downhill from there :smack: (\<-- angsty smiley), now even architecture female students are allowed slacks! :eek: :eek: (no jeans, though, as those are the Devil’s work, since they’re supposed to hug the wearer’s ass and Opus Dei would rather women refrained from having asses) In other words, “some patients are out of their gourds” is 1. not the nurses fault, 2. not news, 3. did you hear someone shot Abraham Lincoln? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nurses-and-sex-not-a-myth/532317/23 "2010-03-13T07:47:43Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > My mom’s in her 50s and she’d get harassed by some of her [del]patients[/del] clients (& being in home health she was often alone in the house with the patient). Apparently SOP is to document _everything_ in the daily paperwork; the supervisors will then contact the family and/or attending physician (I assume because of potential dementia). Depending on how that goes the next step is to only send male aids or nurses. Because there are far fewer males working at the agency this can translate stuff like the agency not being able to honor requests regarding the time of the visit (ie they the aid may only be able to come at 3pm instead of 9:30am) and/or fewer visits in general. The last case scenario is for the director to schedule a meeting with the familiy (at the office, never at home) and politely tell them that the agency can no longer meet their needs, and they’ll have to hire another agency. > > I was surprised when she told me that almost none of the female clients or their families object to male nurses or aids, but they do get alot of older male clients who refuse to have anything to do with them. I wasn’t surprised to hear families tend to get really hostile when told find another agency. Hostile to the point of the director having to have security escort them out of her office. Of course they do. You’re not just calling grandpa a lech, but also punishing him for something he has no control over\*. Quite often, finding another agency is not practical. In their minds, they’re fighting for grandpa’s life. There are things that, no matter how politely you say them, will still offend. This is one of them. \*Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s not a punishment, but just them protecting their workers. But that isn’t how most families will see it. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nurses-and-sex-not-a-myth/532317/24 "2010-03-13T13:46:44Z")
> [@Monstera\_deliciosa](#): > > Third paragraph of the article: :smack: There must be something wrong with my eyes! Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nurses-and-sex-not-a-myth/532317/25 "2010-03-13T14:10:08Z")
Re Bing & Bob- BS. I had my appendix out last November. The last thing on my mind for a couple of weeks was any form of sex. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nurses-and-sex-not-a-myth/532317/26 "2010-03-13T21:17:16Z")
> [@Arnold\_Winkelried](#): > > The article says: “A union representing Dutch nurses will launch a national campaign Friday **against** demands for sexual services by patients who claim it should be part of their standard care.” (bolding mine) > You say: “IF what this article says is true, those nurses are not acting professionally or ethically.” > I totally disagree with you and am surprised you would be saying that. That’s all. I meant the “nurses” who (supposedly) had sex with the patient. I suppose that might not have been clear. :smack: :dubious: Given everything else I wrote, though, it’s pretty obvious that I meant the nurses who were involved inappropriately with the pt. Never mind–I just saw your last post. 🙂 I don’t know how things work in Holland, but over here, there are quite a few health care providers who claim to be nurses (med techs and aides especially). It would be just as unprofessional of those workers to have sex with any patient. ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nurses-and-sex-not-a-myth/532317/27 "2010-03-15T14:13:02Z")
Well, it always makes _me_ feel better. Ok, seriously now: > [@alphaboi867](#): > > My mom’s in her 50s and she’d get harassed by some of her [del]patients[/del] clients (& being in home health she was often alone in the house with the patient). Apparently SOP is to document _everything_ in the daily paperwork; the supervisors will then contact the family and/or attending physician (I assume because of potential dementia). Depending on how that goes the next step is to only send male aids or nurses. Because there are far fewer males working at the agency this can translate stuff like the agency not being able to honor requests regarding the time of the visit (ie they the aid may only be able to come at 3pm instead of 9:30am) and/or fewer visits in general. The last case scenario is for the director to schedule a meeting with the familiy (at the office, never at home) and politely tell them that the agency can no longer meet their needs, and they’ll have to hire another agency. How bad does it get that they need to do this? Assuming grampa’s senile rather than just an insensitive perv, the nurses must cut him some slack because he doesn’t know what he’s doing. It’s also hard to feel threatened by someone who can’t get out of bed. I’d also think it takes a lot to gross out someone who’s worked in an OR and cleans up piss, shit, and pus for a living. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nurses-and-sex-not-a-myth/532317/28 "2010-03-15T14:38:43Z")
There most definitely are sexy nurses. When my dad was in the hospital to have his gal bladder removed I asked out one of the nurses. She even said yes. Of course my dad wasn’t looking at her in the same way I was, probably the pain meds, so it all depends on the point of view. I can’t think of too many hospital stays where I was looking to get some but after my knee surgery I probably wouldn’t have objected but I fear people who have that much power over how much pain I’m in to risk pissing them off. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nurses-and-sex-not-a-myth/532317/29 "2010-03-15T16:12:01Z")
> [@coffeecat](#): > > …How bad does it get that they need to do this? Assuming grampa’s senile rather than just an insensitive perv, the nurses must cut him some slack because he doesn’t know what he’s doing. It’s also hard to feel threatened by someone who can’t get out of bed. I’d also think it takes a lot to gross out someone who’s worked in an OR and cleans up piss, shit, and pus for a living. The patients do get a pass if they have mental problems or senility (which is why the family physician is involved), but that’s not always the case. Not all of the patients are mentally incompetent (nor are they all elderly). It’s also possible to be mentally gone and unable to do ADLs, but still be physically strong enough to injure caregivers. Those families would also be directed to another agency (read nursing home). Oh, and sometimes it’s not the patient that’s the problem. It’s the _familymembers_ who are harassing (sexual or otherwise) or threatening the aid. Or they refuse to lock up their dogs (after repeated requests) and the dog ends up knocking the aid on her ass or biting her (both of which happened to Mom). ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nurses-and-sex-not-a-myth/532317/30 "2010-03-15T16:26:53Z")
I’m an EMT (and an engineer for the day job), and I’ve been hit on by a couple of female patients. Invariably, they were old, under the influence of one or more chemicals, and made me want to say, “Honey, not if you were shrink wrapped.” One time while doing clinical time for my EMT certification, I had to hook up a lady for a 12 lead EKG, and she was so proud to show off her surgically reduced breasts. I might have enjoyed the sight any other time, but I had a job to do, and this was extremely awkward for me. I’m with the nurses on this, bad porn plots to the contrary. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nurses-and-sex-not-a-myth/532317/31 "2010-03-15T17:07:23Z")
I’ve seen very very few nurses around here that I’d want messing with my junk. ---
**Author:** ![StuffLikeThatThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@StuffLikeThatThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StuffLikeThatThere)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nurses-and-sex-not-a-myth/532317/32 "2010-03-15T17:33:22Z")
I was in the hospital overnight recently after a surgery. The nurse who took over in the morning was the best-looking thing I’d ever seen in my life, but that was because he actually seemed to know what the heck he was doing and got me some pain meds. The overnight lady was a quivering indecisive mess. I don’t even remember if he was cute. But he was really good at his job. LOVE him. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nurses-and-sex-not-a-myth/532317/33 "2010-03-16T01:08:13Z")
> [@coffeecat](#): > > How bad does it get that they need to do this? Assuming grampa’s senile rather than just an insensitive perv, the nurses must cut him some slack because he doesn’t know what he’s doing. It’s also hard to feel threatened by someone who can’t get out of bed. I’d also think it takes a lot to gross out someone who’s worked in an OR and cleans up piss, shit, and pus for a living. Yes and no. Limits are set and if grandpa is truly not in control of himself, care is usually given by a male or by 2 females. It is not at all hard to feel threatened by someone who cannot get out of bed, if that someone has got a death grip on your crotch or bra strap. In my 25 years of nursing, I’ve had urine thrown at me, dietary trays ditto (one YOUNG, not senile man pooped on his before he flung it at me–he was a firefighter with um, anger issues [major anger issues and a drug habit]. I’ve had (again young) males in gangs ask me to stay by their bedside because they were expecting “visitors” and didn’t want to “anything to happen”. I’ve had old men with no teeth try to kiss me or pat my ass. Being unable to get out of bed has nothing to do with it–as a nurse, you are not to harm the pt, even the insanely strong senile ones who grab you and try to wrest your clothing off you. Elderly people have death grips–there is no pinch stronger than a little old lady who is irate. As I said before, MOST male pts are courteous and deferential, but there are those few who either act out or are just dicks. **Stuff** –that’s great to hear. I’m glad that nurse was there for you and took good care of you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nurses-and-sex-not-a-myth/532317.md?page=1)