# Nursing homes: as sleazy as ever? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 14, 2019, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944 "2019-05-14T14:49:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2019, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/21 "2019-05-15T06:40:34Z")
> [@Tee](#): > > I spent some time at one of the nicer assisted living facilities up here. You buy your residence and then you pay a monthly fee for services. It’s staggering only if you don’t know what a regular nursing home costs per month. In this one, a 2BR 2 bath in independent living was $3500 a month or so, the highest it gets. They have a huge number of residents and a massive philanthropy fund, meaning even if residents do deplete their assets over time, even when moved to nursing care if that is needed, that’s their home and they stay there throughout. That’s not all that shocking I guess for a decent organization, but I had no idea. > > Now in retrospect, all the residents from faraway states make more sense to me. At the facility physically closest to me they have a small subdivision that is exactly that. In the main building, the ground floor apts are smallish but each has an exterior door so you don’t have tto go in and out the main building doors if you don’t want to. 2nd floor apts are a little bigger, and 3rd and forth floors apts are around 1100 sqft. 5th floor has 5 apts 2200 sqft each. Those are the truly luxury apts. I don’t recall what tthe cost was for those but I do know its around or above 10,000/month. This facility just finished building a full gym complete with dry hot room (sauna?) Steamy hot room, hot tub and jacuzzi and I believe I was told they are going to start building the indoor swimming pool this year. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2019, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/22 "2019-05-15T18:32:36Z")
Doctor and social worker were in and we discussed my situation. They want me well enough that I can make it at home and not have to come back. There was also a threat that if I check myself out, like if some beautiful but insane Bonnie Parker cosplayer snatched me, they would mark on my permanent record that I left against the recommendation of my doctor. Also, she has no power over my shots; that’s up to wound care and the physiatrist who will jab me. We agreed that I want to do it right and I’ll remind the wound care doc when he’s here Friday. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2019, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/23 "2019-05-15T19:42:29Z")
Permanent record! My foot…er your foot. Where are we, Nazi Germany? ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2019, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/24 "2019-05-15T20:10:47Z")
Worse yet, my MEDICAL RECORD that can be seen by INSURANCE COMPANIES!!! ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2019, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/25 "2019-05-16T01:34:29Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Doctor and social worker were in and we discussed my situation. They want me well enough that I can make it at home and not have to come back. There was also a threat that if I check myself out, like if some beautiful but insane Bonnie Parker cosplayer snatched me, they would mark on my permanent record that I left against the recommendation of my doctor. Also, she has no power over my shots; that’s up to wound care and the physiatrist who will jab me. We agreed that I want to do it right and I’ll remind the wound care doc when he’s here Friday. That all sounds reasonable. You sound good too. _Somebody_ knows what they’re doing. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2019, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/26 "2019-05-16T01:48:06Z")
That would be me. ( ☹ or 😉 ?) I’m not a used-up husk of a human they are used to, but my short-term memory is weakening. I’d blame the Zoloft but doc says I shouldn’t judge it until Saturday, the 2-wk anniversary of starting on it. :rolleyes: Like drugs adhere to schedules. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2019, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/27 "2019-05-16T02:06:25Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > There was also a threat that if I check myself out, like if some beautiful but insane Bonnie Parker cosplayer snatched me, they would mark on my permanent record that I left against the recommendation of my doctor. If you leave “against medical advice” you’re going to have a hell of a lot of explaining to do to whomever your insurance carrier is. You may also have trouble getting ANY care facility anywhere to admit you in the future. Not saying this is inevitable, but it certainly can happen. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2019, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/28 "2019-05-16T02:17:18Z")
I assumed that and it’s why I chose to do what they tell me. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2019, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/29 "2019-05-16T02:24:15Z")
> [@DorkVader](#): > > It depends on how much money you are willing to spend. There are a lot of “assisted living facilities” that have spacious rooms and even a few good sized apartments, nice dining rooms, excellent food etc. Buuuuuuuuut, you basically have to give them all of your money at the outset, and once its gone, so are you. Locally to me, these places start out at around $4500 and go up from there. Yep. My father is in one. He needs to be there – they specialize in “memory care,” and his dementia makes it impossible for him to live on his own. But $4,500? Wow. Here in NYC, it costs $18,500 per month. And that’s at the lowest level of accomodation – more luxurious quarters are available in the same facility. It’s a real concern of mine that at this rate he’ll outlive his money. Then what? I have no idea. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2019, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/30 "2019-05-16T02:46:47Z")
yeah CA has an attitude of "you don’t have to do what we tell you to do but we don’t have to pay for the results of what happens if you don’t "regarding certain types of care ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2019, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/31 "2019-05-16T02:56:56Z")
> [@Saintly\_Loser](#): > > Yep. My father is in one. He needs to be there – they specialize in “memory care,” and his dementia makes it impossible for him to live on his own. > > But $4,500? Wow. Here in NYC, it costs $18,500 per month. And that’s at the lowest level of accomodation – more luxurious quarters are available in the same facility. > > It’s a real concern of mine that at this rate he’ll outlive his money. Then what? I have no idea. Medicaid will generally pick it up once the assets are completely depleted. It’s important that he not gift or transfer anything, if that has happened in the last several years he may be ineligible for Medicaid. They can and will try to take the primary residence if he lives alone, there are restrictions if he doesn’t but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s safe. I’ve kept these comments general because the specifics may vary from state to state. I recommend contacting a lawyer that specializes in Elder Law, you can do things like set up an exempt trust for funeral expenses. I’m dealing with this very issue with my Mom right now. I’ve spent my day digging through her papers and trying to access her online accounts in order to get the papers the lawyer needs. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2019, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/32 "2019-05-16T03:12:50Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > That would be me. ( ☹ or 😉 ?) I’m not a used-up husk of a human they are used to, but my short-term memory is weakening. I’d blame the Zoloft but doc says I shouldn’t judge it until Saturday, the 2-wk anniversary of starting on it. :rolleyes: Like drugs adhere to schedules. If you have a history of not being meds compliant, I could understand a concern for you not being around people to watch out for you and make sure you take the meds you need when you need them. Compliance can be an elephant in the room, patients don’t like to think or admit they’ve not been taking their meds as prescribed. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2019, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/33 "2019-05-16T03:27:10Z")
I tell them when my meds are due. They are still late, throwing off my timed to the minute schedule. Did I mention I’m OCD? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2019, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/34 "2019-05-16T03:40:55Z")
> [@DorkVader](#): > > At the facility physically closest to me they have a small subdivision that is exactly that. In the main building, the ground floor apts are smallish but each has an exterior door so you don’t have tto go in and out the main building doors if you don’t want to. 2nd floor apts are a little bigger, and 3rd and forth floors apts are around 1100 sqft. 5th floor has 5 apts 2200 sqft each. Those are the truly luxury apts. I don’t recall what tthe cost was for those but I do know its around or above 10,000/month. This facility just finished building a full gym complete with dry hot room (sauna?) Steamy hot room, hot tub and jacuzzi and I believe I was told they are going to start building the indoor swimming pool this year. This one was more like a small town. There is a CVS Pharmacy and a bank branch in the main clubhouse, and a walk-in health clinic just for the employees. Pools, fitness rooms, several restaurants, with bars, in fact I interviewed a 100-year-old gentleman at one of the bars. This might be sounding like a fairy tale. Just look into Erickson Living properties if you’re inclined. The residents came from everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2019, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/35 "2019-05-16T04:28:35Z")
We were lucky enough to find a place for Mom in suburban Chicago that had independent living, assisted living, and skilled nursing care units. There was a buy-in, which she managed with the proceeds from the sale of her home, and a monthly fee that was low enough that she could live on her pension and social security. This place is a nonprofit, so when the resident leaves (usually feet first), the buy-in is refunded as soon as the apartment is sold . It’s a very nice place, beautifully designed, and with several restaurants onsite. Mom was happy there. They’re not all sleazy. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2019, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/36 "2019-05-16T13:01:56Z")
All I know is that, of the senior living facilities my wife and I have been in, two out of three were sleazy–see my current thread about a drug mixup yesterday. ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2019, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/37 "2019-05-16T14:01:09Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > All I know is that, of the senior living facilities my wife and I have been in, two out of three were sleazy–see my current thread about a drug mixup yesterday. I see that. It doesn’t say to me that they’re trying to poison you, it does say that their institutional protocols could maybe use a tune-up. Mistakes do happen but it’s reasonable to try to ensure zero point zero instances of medication errors, I mean absolutely nobody is against that idea. Patients and their families have to have trust in the system. So I definitely would have reported that to the admin and I would expect a response. ---
**Author:** ![HaroldDix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/76d3ee/32.png) [@HaroldDix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HaroldDix)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2019, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/38 "2019-05-23T22:41:58Z")
Holy Hell. Some of the figures spoken here give me the chills. If any of my dependants were expected to pay 3x to 10x my mortgage a month to keep my ass alive hand me a shotgun and I will personally save you the money. Are we so afraid of Death that we will deplete everything we have, and burden our children, for a few months or even years of life. Narcissistic world view much. Newsflash…you are not a unique snowflake. History and society won’t miss you. You had your time. You raised your kids. Lived your life. Why would you burden your family like that? ---
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/39 "2019-05-24T01:03:52Z")
Nursing home doctor (post acute hospitalist is my official title) chiming in here. In my area of south Texas, physicians tend not to be the ones who decide on a discharge date. Most of the time the therapists, DON, and administrator come up with a date, which tends to correspond to around the time that insurance will cover. The attending physician is notified of this date and asked to sign off on it. If the attending disagrees often enough and tries to do his or her own thing, referrals for new patients will dry up. I know this from first hand experience at some of the less reputable facilities. If your attending is a community doctor it’s even more likely that they just go along with whatever the facility staff recommends since those doctors spend most of their time in their outpatient practices rather than in the nursing homes. It sucks that things work this way, but the owners of the facilities fire administrators and DONs who don’t try to keep the insured patients as long as possible (again, based on first hand experience). I hope you heal up and get out of there as quickly as possible, if you haven’t already. ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944/40 "2019-05-24T03:11:44Z")
> [@HaroldDix](#): > > Holy Hell. Some of the figures spoken here give me the chills. If any of my dependants were expected to pay 3x to 10x my mortgage a month to keep my ass alive hand me a shotgun and I will personally save you the money. Are we so afraid of Death that we will deplete everything we have, and burden our children, for a few months or even years of life. Narcissistic world view much. Newsflash…you are not a unique snowflake. History and society won’t miss you. You had your time. You raised your kids. Lived your life. Why would you burden your family like that? Family members don’t pay unless they want to. And nice people don’t turn the elders out into the desert when they need constant care, or whatever you have planned, so this is the system we have. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nursing-homes-as-sleazy-as-ever/833944.md?page=3)