# NYC IRL - Read it and weep **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 12, 2000, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112 "2000-06-12T13:16:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/1 "2000-06-12T13:16:08Z")
Ok, please be aware that I did not correct or edit spelling, grammar or thoughts. In attendance and food ordered: Soulsling, Whole wheat shark egg Dave0071, Sea Bass Joe\_Cool, Guacamole and Chips WonkoTheSane, Arugulla salad with pecans Pink Slinky (Biggirl), Sea bass Lux Fiat, Southwestern Seafood salad Manhattan, Sea bass Ukelele Ike, Southwestern Seafood salad Dr. Matrix, couple beers Houseman, Salmon Fillet Cajun Man, beer Swimming Riddles, Pesto Eggplant pizza SaxFace, Turkey Meatloaf with mashed potatoes Mark Serlin, Turkey Meatloaf We met 7ish (not fish) at Herban Kitchen restaurant, where there really was meat. **Random notes from the evening written by various attendees:** Working in a petrolium refinery can be funny. Scrapple/Spam discussion (in an organic restaurant, no less) Went to Antarctica (the bar) at 9:30. Wonko, Mark Serlin and Sax had shots. Pool was played. Many people played. Not me. Lux was spoken to in the restroom by a voice from on high. The voice told him to watch some TV show, then reminded him to wash his hands. He was so disconcerted he made this entry in the third person. It’s just not the same without a keyboard in (some word I can’t read) vohred? 10:10 pm: Pink/Biggirl spills the first drink! 10:15 pm: Ike insults CajunMan’s age via a charming recession/depression crack. 10:20 pm: Ike is politically against McDonalds, but not meat 10:19 pm: (I swear I’m typing these in order) 29.95 inches Mercury. Wonko the Sane has officially achieved “silly status”. 10:21 pm: SaxFace recognizs her roommates’ tags on the wall. “Kleps” has been in the bar, but, as Soulsling pointed out, it wasn’t dated so no one knows when. 10:22 pm: Wonko and SaxFace lost three times in a row playing pool to Soulsling and Joe\_Cool. How depressing! 10:25 pm: Wonko and SaxFace decide best out of 7. The bar fills up with a fraction more smoke, a fraction more babes and some smooth melodies. Note: there were plenty of babes before the other babes got here. We talked about Burlington, VT. Ben and Jerry’s is there. SaxFace is a pool shark! (Note: I swear I didn’t write that) Uke Ike “leaping like a gazelle” over Manhattan. Uke makes a plan to steal the toilet. No one is with him. I’m moving these notes to another forum but I ain’t saying where! HA! Moe and Kimberly Joy show up 11 pm with some friends. Late due to jam session. Forgot to mention: Marky and Maliky - Pink’s nephews were hot and busy. Very nice boys, even though Mark is always late. SaxFace is trying very, very hard to be nice. Ike is the big man on campus. 11:07 pm: Getting sisters to post is akin to getting them addicted to heroin. Shut up it seemed note-worthy at the time. SaxFace and Uke had a bet whether Moe likes the Grateful Dead. Sax won a free beer, the answer was yes. Dave, Joe\_Cool and Wonko left before midnight. SaxFace tries to kiss Biggirl. Mostly because SaxFace uses Jagermeister flavored chapstick. Dr. Matrix sniffs SaxFace. What will CajunMan think? Please don’t let Cajun Man read this! -Dr. Matrix Lux is sitting in the bleacher seats pouting. But he eventually joins the party with a lampshade on his head. Soulsling had his mouth washed out with soap for dropping M80s down the toilet. One of the Canadian posters was upset because s/he wasn’t invited. Of course, s/he didn’t realize this until Monday when it appeared on the board. -Moe As always, the Dopefest attracts the natives - Emrys! “I’m now the sax player in a death metal band”. -SaxFace Moe - in contemplation, beer in hand, no. Hands on hips heroicly. Now shaking his finger pontificly. Educated, drunk. His hat on his head giving a relaxed feel. He laughs. The true 21st Century AOL man. Soulsling is very unimpressed at the fact that the Brooklyn Dopers weren’t trashed when they were at the restaurant given they had 2 hours to drink beforehand. Um, Soulsling, I hate to break it to you, but we were trashed. - SaxFace Some people (especially those who live in Brooklyn) know how to conduct themselves even when trashed" - Biggirl Moe makes an exit to go knit. It takes more than two hours to get Brooklyn Dopers trashed. - Houseman I think at this point (11:30 pm) everyone is trashed (except SwimmingRiddles). WHY? I wanna see puke! - Soulsling Organic puke? - SaxFace Vegetarian organic puke with pea leaves. - Soulsling I had the turkey meatloaf, though. - SaxFace That makes great puke, keep drinking. - Soulsling The truth hurts. - SaxFace Many Dopers were visited in the bathroom. The invisible man was there. He spoke to us. Cajun Man and SaxFace take a lovely stroll down the Manhattan skyline. Swimming Riddles will get home early. 6 or 7 am is early. Biggirl did not fall down once! Uke, Biggirl and Houseman leave at 12:10 Let’s trash Queens. Yes, let’s. Ok, thanks to Manny, I’m jolly! - Swimming Riddles. The notes end there, but the night wasn’t over. Thank you all, it was a blast. I have beach brain so if there are any blatant errors, the fault is mine. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/2 "2000-06-12T13:33:00Z")
New York, New York, it’s a hell oa a town… if it’s still standing. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/3 "2000-06-12T13:42:06Z")
I wanna know what Swim and Houseman were discussing so earnestly. Don’t _make_ me get street on you, Swim! ::rolls head in that vaguely threatening, very annoying way:: ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/4 "2000-06-12T13:49:19Z")
just note also that **SaxFace** is the “Bank Shot Bitch”. be wary. ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/5 "2000-06-12T13:57:28Z")
So I haven’t played in number of years! BTW- did soulsling really try to blow up a toilet? The things you miss when you go home early! I heard the invisible man in the loo as well. He is some kind of perv! ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/6 "2000-06-12T14:51:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Mark Serlin, Turkey Meatloaf Please tell me this is a typo and Mr. Serlin was NOT there. I’m spooked. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/7 "2000-06-12T15:07:44Z")
UncBeer…I had the SAME thought…although, we’re having the famous Silo come to Raleigh, so anything’s possible… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/8 "2000-06-12T15:24:48Z")
No one’s mentioned yet that the restaurant was hosting a wedding reception in addition to our party. The waitstaff refused to give us glassware for our beer, all of it being in use at that happy gathering. The bride was stunning in a simple white silk sheath, her dark hair crowned with white flowers. **Manhattan** told me that I had surgical scars older than she was, which preceded my crack about **Cajun Man’s** age by about an hour and a half. **Soulsling** did NOT offer anyone a bite of his whole wheat shark egg. That toilet thing…after a half-dozen of the men had come back from the loo ashen and trembling after hearing the mysterious voice, I determined to avoid the urinal and use the stall when the beer made itself known in my system. I was surprised to find that the bowl had been encircled with iron bands and firmly bolted to floor and walls. I look upon this sort of thing as a challenge, and tried to convince the group that the Antartica toilet would be just the thing for the SDMB trophy case. The “Manhattan” over whom I sprung in such agile fashion was the Moderator of General Questions, not the borough. **Swimming Riddles** was definitely trashed by the time we left. She just carries it well. (Jack Daniels and Coca Cola? _Sacre vache!_) **Mark Serlin** turned out to be a lovely fellow. He stood the table to a bottle of Remy Martin cognac, taught **Saxface** how to tango, then loosened his ascot and entertained us all with soliloquies from the Shakespearean tragedies. Turns out that IRL he’s the Creative Director of the New York Ballet. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/9 "2000-06-12T15:33:02Z")
Bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/10 "2000-06-12T15:38:05Z")
It is bullshit - he taught me how to mambo. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/11 "2000-06-12T15:38:08Z")
Okay, you caught me in a fib. The Creative Director of the City Center Ballet. It _is_ a bit less posh than the NY. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/12 "2000-06-12T15:38:22Z")
Just for the record, by the time \*\* I \*\* left, I was quite trashed. ::sniff:: You guys are the best. I was only mildly jolly when Ike left. (see note) It’s also worthy to note that the stealing-the-bolted-to-the-floor-toilet plan was hatched at Antartica, not the organic place. The bathroom at the organic place was nicer than mine is. I had a delightful time with the GothamDopers, despite the fact that no one was with me on getting pictures with the wedding party. Feh. If my year-old film turns out, I’ll have to find a scanner, but eventually, I’ll put them up somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/13 "2000-06-12T15:57:57Z")
oh **Uke** , you were at the other end of the table, i offered **Wonko, Cajun Man, Dr.Matrix, Joe Cool, and Big… PinkSlinky** a bite of the whole wheat shark egg, but the fellas were complacent with not the greatest guacamole and beer. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/14 "2000-06-12T16:09:36Z")
I forgot to mention what a charming, funny, personable, and punctual (Miss Manners says anything within 1/2 hour is “on-time.” That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it.) group the NY Dopers are. Thanks for gathering, now that I’m friggen bankrolled, I’m going to have to make more NYC trips, anyway. Now I must clean my car. How is it that one person on one road trip can completely trash one Tracer? Feh. ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/15 "2000-06-12T16:18:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > The bathroom at the organic place was nicer than mine is. > \*\* The bathroom at the organic place was nicer than my apartment! It was just so…\*\* nice\*\*. **Saxface-** let me know if you are up for a pool-playing excursion sometime- I could probably learn a thing or three. How did you mambo in Antarctica? It did not seem too conducive of an environment to mambo-ing. **SwimmingRiddles** “Time is an illusion… Dinner with 'Dopers doubly so.” Some people might get the quote; others will just stare at their computers and make a funny face. I wish I had stayed later to see the stuff I missed! ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/16 "2000-06-12T16:38:57Z")
The bathroom had to be nice, what with all those pea trees they serve. I mean, it has to take alot of bathroom time to process those things. Pea trees aside (that’s what I did with mine) the food was really good. BTW, was Mark Serlin still confused when he left? ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/17 "2000-06-12T17:04:21Z")
Note to self: Do not try to order “regular” beer at a trendy NYC restaurant. I was looked upon as a philistine because I asked first for a Corona, then a Guinness…Both of which are apparently far too low-brow for the Herban Kitchen. I got the impression that they considered my favorite beverages unfit even for scrubbing their luxurious toilets. Further note to self: East Coast guacamole sucks. Stick to Taco Bell until next visit to New Mexico. But I really want to try one of those shark eggs now. **And we made it through an entire evening with the fabulous Miss Riddles without once hearing the words _aristocratic beauty_."** And antarctica (not the continent) had the greatest collection of homemade signs that I have ever seen. I regret that I had to leave early this time. ---
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/18 "2000-06-12T17:13:23Z")
Ok, I’ll spill the beans on **‘Mark Serlin’**. It really wasn’t Mark Serlin (stop mobbing me now, ladies). It was my friend, **Janis** , from Latvia, who works for Tommy Hilfiger as a designer. He’s total Eurotrash. I introduced him as **Mark Serlin** , and didn’t tell him where I knew all of the Dopers from, that it was his job to guess. He guessed Felchers Anonymous, Jazz Musicians, People from Work, etc. He didn’t guess correctly, ever. When he asked me again (later, at like 4 am), our friend Martin guessed correctly and Janis loudly proclaimed, “I hate guessing games”. But he said that everyone was really cool and fun and that **Swimming Riddles** was a total babe. **Wonko** , sure we’ll have a pool lesson. The line forms after **Joe\_Cool**. **Soulsling** , you can sign up for the bank-shot lessons. ---
**Author:** ![Moe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moe/32/2972_2.png) [@Moe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moe)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/19 "2000-06-12T17:18:10Z")
\*\* [/QUOTE] **SwimmingRiddles** “Time is an illusion… Dinner with 'Dopers doubly so.” Some people might get the quote; others will just stare at their computers and make a funny face. \*\* [/QUOTE] Sounds familar. Is that from Dirk Gently? Anyway, sorry I couldn’t stay longer. I really enjoyed meeting you all and hanging for the short time I did. My friend was in town from Philly. I used to live with him, and jam all the time, but now we get to jam only a few times a year so once it got going, it sorta kept going. So I missed the 5 o’clock thing, and then it seemed that we had plenty of time to make it to the herban kitchen, so I figured we’d hang a bit more, do our thing and then roll in about 8 or 9, but losing track of time the clock rounded 10 before we finally made it out. Finally I made it but I had plans to meet 3 friends at the Knit at 11, all coming from different areas and none of them actually making it. But, anyway, lets do this again real soon. ---
**Author:** ![Moe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moe/32/2972_2.png) [@Moe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moe)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112/20 "2000-06-12T17:22:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > Moe - in contemplation, beer in hand, no. Hands on hips heroicly. Now shaking his finger pontificly. Educated, drunk. His hat on his head giving a relaxed feel. He laughs. The true 21st Century AOL man. > > \*\* BTW, the above was written by my friend and drummer, Spencer, soon to be known as ZedioxJeb. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-irl-read-it-and-weep/22112.md?page=2)