# NYC Needs Dope! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 17, 2000, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014 "2000-03-17T20:00:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/101 "2000-04-06T05:03:00Z")
Doin’ it and doin’ it and doin’ it well… I represent Queens – she was raised out in Brooklyn. * * * [NYC IRL III](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006163.html) is on April 15th. Do you have what it takes? ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/102 "2000-04-06T05:12:00Z")
Just casting my vote for the beer chick, and not to worry Biggirl, a few drinks in me and I’ll talk your ear off. * * * Pork is not a verb. ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/103 "2000-04-06T05:16:00Z")
Just casting my vote for the beer chick, and not to worry Biggirl, a few drinks in me and I’ll talk your ear off. * * * Pork is not a verb. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/104 "2000-04-05T19:19:00Z")
Beer chick it is. However, I’m the beer chick, she’s the gin and soda with a twist of lemon chick. For the first half hour, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/105 "2000-04-06T10:05:00Z")
The Official (though belated – @#$%^& MPSIMS outages) Countdown to the NYC SDMB Swap Meet & Sorority Mixer: **One Week, Three Days and Counting** In today’s episode, Biggirl has bowed to intense public pressure and decided to bring the Beer Chick. However, in a bizzare plot twist it was revealed that Biggirl was in actuality the Beer Chick, and the Beer Chick we all thought she was going to bring is the Gin and Soda With a Twist of Lemon Chick. Faithful viewers are consulting their bartending manuals as we speak. Billdo and Green Bean engaged in some nasty intra-family squabbling about exactly which borough their father could claim. Manhattan, in a bold territorial grab, has laid claim to both Brooklyn and Queens. SwimmingRiddles is going through a family crisis of her own, [scheming](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006883.html) as to how she can bring SisterRiddles to the party without revealing the shameful secret of her participation on the boards. Already she’s setting up the potential excuse that SisterRiddles may be “too busy,” but nobody is buying it. In other SwimmingRiddles news, all the guys coming to the party are desperately trying to figure out how they can show themselves to be [kid-friendly](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006906.html), in order to turn her into a “blubbering mess of estrogen.” Meanwhile, we can expect some Ukulele explosions at the gathering. Ike has greviously insulted SaxFace, linking her to CSN&Y. Sax has vowed retribution. Also, there is the unresolved matter of the _Some Like It Hot_ simulpost between Uke and Green Bean in the [Last Movie Lines](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006885.html) thread. It could get ugly, folks. Finally, Eve has graciously volunteered to come up from Philadelphia to bail us all out. This leaves the Teeming Millions with the unanswered question of why, if she’s only going to be a short train ride away in Philadelphia, she can’t come to the party in the first place. We’d even give her first dibs on the steel and concrete bunk in the holding cell. ---
**Author:** ![ryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@ryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/106 "2000-04-06T10:46:00Z")
I may be able to attend, if I can find someone to cover my shift at work that night. Then I can hop on the ferry from Staten Island and meet you all! * * * “Never mistake lack of talent for genius” ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/107 "2000-04-06T12:40:00Z")
I’d also just like to point out that if SisterRiddles is in attendance, she, too shares the same weakness for kid-friendly guys. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/108 "2000-04-06T13:30:00Z")
“This leaves the Teeming Millions with the unanswered question of why, if she’s only going to be a short train ride away in Philadelphia, she can’t come to the party in the first place.” —As tempting as yet another evening of binge-drinking and chain-smoking with the SD group is, I am but an old-fashioned girl. I have already made plans for a laudanum and group-sex weekend in Phila., so will have to tender my regrets. Though, as I said, I will leave my number with y’all for that “one phone call” you’ll get. THIS time, don’t call Domino’s for a large pizza with everything on it! ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/109 "2000-04-06T13:44:00Z")
Is anyone else reading Billdo’s commentary with a Howard Cossell-ish tone in mind? * * * Pork is not a verb. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/110 "2000-04-06T13:57:00Z")
Naw. I’m reading it like Kent Brockman. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/111 "2000-04-06T14:13:00Z")
Oh, but Eve, you should not paint _all_ the tri-state Dopers in the same swinish and bacchic colors as **Alpha, Sax, manhattan,** and **myself** … It’s entirely possible that **SR** and **BG** and **GB** and **Billdo** and **Democritus** and **psycat** will be fastidious social drinkers, nursing small glasses of dry vermouth the entire evening long, with an abhorrance of tobacco products, who will loftily turn down our offers of crudely-chopped lines of crank and big blunts of Massachusetts skunkweed. * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/112 "2000-04-06T14:49:00Z")
HAHAHAHAHAHA Possible, Uke, but not probable. (At least I speak for Dem and myself, anyway.) Psst, pass that this way. * * * Madness takes it’s toll… So does New Jersey. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/113 "2000-04-06T15:01:00Z")
I’m a lousy drinker! ☹ I get tipsy off of one beer. And I rarely even drink at all. But, I _could_ be persuaded just this once… Now, Billdo on the other hand–pour a beer in him, and he will laugh like a hyena for you. ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/114 "2000-04-06T15:03:00Z")
I, for one, do on occasion drink small glasses of dry vermouth. However, on those occasions the dry vermouth is usually submerged in large glasses of gin. Eve, if necessary, we can probably arrange for laudanum and group-sex at the get-together. Maybe not at the resturant, but I’m sure Manny can find a place that will oblige for afterwards. And, by the way, I would never use my “one phone call” to call Dominos for a large pizza with everything. _Dominos doesn’t serve anchovies on their pizza._ A real pizza joint, on the other hand . . . ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/115 "2000-04-06T15:10:00Z")
I’m at the tender age of 20. Too old to be naive, too young to get liquored up legally. So I’ll not be buying booze. But, for the record, I am the great-granddaughter of Irish immigrants on both my father’s and mother’s side. I can hold my liquor QUITE well. My sister lived in Dublin for a year, and one of her joys was to go into pubs and drink the men under the table. ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/116 "2000-04-06T16:15:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Possible, Uke, but not probable. (At least I speak for Dem and myself, anyway.) Are you trying to **imply** something Psycat? For the record, us Cali boys stay away from opium Eve… 😉 * * * Just make yourself comfy while I shoot nuclear particles into your heart. (Courtesy of Wally) ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/117 "2000-04-06T16:35:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Possible, Uke, but not probable. (At least I speak for Dem and myself, anyway.) Are you trying to **imply** something Psycat? For the record, us Cali boys stay away from opium Eve… 😉 * * * Just make yourself comfy while I shoot nuclear particles into your heart. (Courtesy of Wally) ---
**Author:** ![Lux\_Fiat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lux\_Fiat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Fiat)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/118 "2000-04-07T23:08:00Z")
Beer and cigarrettes? If there were a SteveCall offered in hunting catalogs, that’s what it would sound when you blow into it. I was thinking of bringing a friend or something to counteract my usual reserve, but I, too, have run into the dilemma that none of 'em would get it. Ironically, given my crappy home computer and resultant infrequent posting, I’ll prolly do far better getting to know people at NYC IRL than I have on the boards. I’m meeting people “IRL”. Heh. Truly am I now officially a member of my generation. * * * “Are you frightened of snakes?” “Only when they dress like werewolves.” -Preacher ---
**Author:** ![Wicked\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/2acd7d/32.png) [@Wicked\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wicked_Blue)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/119 "2000-04-07T23:36:00Z")
As far as I know, I will still be attending. I am in the process of finding a job, and if I do manage to get hired before the 15th, that might pose a problem. As an (ex-)New Yorker living outside of Boston, it might be hard for me to get to NY. But, by the way things have been going, I will probably be there. If I do come, I might bring a friend. My friend Martin from San Francisco might be in town, and I think I can convince him to come with me. He is a riot, and will be a lot of fun. I’m really looking forward to meeting you all 🙂 Rose * * * I told you not to be stupid, you moron. ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014/120 "2000-04-07T04:49:00Z")
The Official Countdown to the NYC SDMB Quail Hunt and Quilting Bee: **One Week, Two Days and Counting** Transient electronic storms causing board outages today have diminished the volume of flirts, quibbles, pouts and preens preparatory to the New York Straight Dope get-together over the last 24 hours. Nonetheless, several important developments have occurred. In today’s major story, Eve has revealed her terribly misplaced priorities, preferring to attend an orgy in the City of Brotherly Love than a drunken slobberfest in the East Village. Likewise, she showed an appalling lack of knowledge of criminal procedure by intimating that it was somehow inappropriate to order a pizza with the works when incarcerated rather than seek legal counsel. Sources say that there the SDMB hierarchy are debating the appropriate response to this heresy, with Lynn favoring immediate banishment, deletion of all prior threads in which she posted and a two week board crash for good measure, and Dex favoring a round of applause for her good sense. (Wait, isn’t Dex from Philly? Hmmmm.) When reached for comment, Ed Zotti said: “Huh. What the hell are you talking about?” In a futile attempt to correct Eve’s misconceptions, Ukulele Ike suggested that there might be one of us that would come to the gathering and behave in a refined manner. Gales of laughter were heard echoing long into the MPSIMS outage. In other Ike news, grudges and disputes seem to be building up for the Uke-man. He and Biggirl were [seen](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000886.html) today in minor grammar skirmish in the Pit. Another borough has been now been heard from. Ryan, from Staten Island, will be attending if he can get some one to cover for him at work. Speaking of work, Blue Twylight may be forced to abandon the event if she finds employment in Boston. If she does attend, however, she may be bringing the mysterious Martin from San Francisco, alleged to be “a riot, and . . . a lot of fun.” Lux Fiat, on the other hand, claims to have no friends that would get it, but having heard “beer and cigarettes” call will be sure to show up himself. SwimmingRiddles made the suggestion that since she’s under 21, she can’t buy booze legally, and therefore won’t be buying booze. Clever members of the teeming millions have noticed that nowhere in the post did she mention not drinking booze, and wondered if this is a subtle scheme to get out of her portion of the bar tab. SwimmingRiddles also coyly pointed out that SisterRiddles has a habit of drinking guys under the table in Irish pubs. Rumors are circulating of the formation of a posse to drive up and forcibly drag SisterRiddles into attendance if she doesn’t come down with her sister. Finally, Green Bean has hinted at the likely possibility that the assembled at the get-together will have the singular privilege of hearing the patented Billdo hyena laugh. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-needs-dope/16014.md?page=7)