# NYC pastor obsessed with semen, demons, and latte. Oh, my! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 17, 2015, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373 "2015-07-17T00:15:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/1 "2015-07-17T00:15:28Z")
Last year, he freaked out over Starbucks and their alleged propensity for putting gay semen in their lattes: > **[NYC pastor: Starbucks is flavoured with the semen of sodomites](https://www.thepinknews.com/2014/11/05/nyc-pastor-starbucks-is-flavoured-with-the-semen-of-sodomites/)** > > A New York pastor has warned that Starbucks coffees are flavoured with the "semen of sodomites". Now, he says that this same demon semen (“the cream of the blood”–WTF?) will cause insanity, make you gay, and, well, who knows what else: Is it me, or is he a wee bit obsessed with male shooty-shoot? ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/2 "2015-07-17T00:23:03Z")
I hope Starbucks offers hazard pay for chafing injuries. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/3 "2015-07-17T00:35:13Z")
I take it he’s an authority on consuming gay semen and on being gay? ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/4 "2015-07-17T00:39:35Z")
I don’t know what’s worse. That this insanity would get any coverage/publicity at all, or that anyone would actually attend his ‘church’ (assuming that someone does attend). ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/5 "2015-07-17T01:13:43Z")
I’ve got to say I’d bet there is a fairly linear relationship between how gay a guy is and how much semen they have in their mouth. That being said how much do you think Starbucks pays those guys to jack off. If its more then minimum wage and they have benefits I may have to send them an application. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/6 "2015-07-17T01:16:33Z")
> [@Oredigger77](#): > > That being said how much do you think Starbucks pays those guys to jack off. If its more then minimum wage and they have benefits I may have to send them an application. $10/hour but you supply your own lube, and let’s not even talk about the bi-annual performance reviews. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/7 "2015-07-17T01:45:24Z")
It would take a whole dairy farm of semen-cows to keep the whole Starbucks franchise supplied. There must be whole herds of minimum wage employees producing product at various densely packed feed lots throughout the nation. Over a period of multiple generations, they would be bred for maximum productivity (measured, perhaps, in gallons per day). You know they aren’t also going to rely on slow, labor-intensive manual product extraction techniques on such an industrial scale. They are going to be using modern mechanical suction devices, substantially similar to the milking machines used for actual bovine dairy cows. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/8 "2015-07-17T01:55:31Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > Last year, he freaked out over Starbucks and their alleged propensity for putting gay semen in their lattes: > > [NYC pastor: Starbucks is flavoured with the semen of sodomites | PinkNews](http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2014/11/05/nyc-pastor-starbucks-is-flavoured-with-the-semen-of-sodomites/) > [@](#): > > “Semen flavours up the coffee, and makes you thinks you’re having a good time.” 😕 ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/9 "2015-07-17T02:03:58Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > It would take a whole dairy farm of semen-cows to keep the whole Starbucks franchise supplied. There must be whole herds of minimum wage employees producing product at various densely packed feed lots throughout the nation. Over a period of multiple generations, they would be bred for maximum productivity (measured, perhaps, in gallons per day). You know they aren’t also going to rely on slow, labor-intensive manual product extraction techniques on such an industrial scale. They are going to be using modern mechanical suction devices, substantially similar to the milking machines used for actual bovine dairy cows. Don’t forget in-store sales for personal use. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/10 "2015-07-17T04:03:43Z")
I wonder how they get the pumpkin spice flavoured semen, because I would love to have that as my superpower. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/11 "2015-07-17T04:19:18Z")
> [@D\_Odds](#): > > I don’t know what’s worse. That this insanity would get any coverage/publicity at all, or that anyone would actually attend his ‘church’ (assuming that someone does attend). Their website is so nutty that for a minute I thought it was a satire. [Atlah.org](http://Atlah.org) ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/12 "2015-07-17T14:39:35Z")
Snopes has covered it: > **[Pastor Apoplectic Over Starbucks Semen Find](https://www.snopes.com/news/2014/11/10/venti-fappuccino/)** > > Fake news site's claim about semen in Starbucks drinks dupes New York City Pastor. I discovered it when I was looking for their article about various rock stars having a pint to a gallon of semen in their stomach. > **[Rock Star 'Stomach Pump' Legend](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/rock-star-stomach-pump/)** > > Rock star collapses and has a pint of semen pumped from his stomach. I remember hearing the one about Elton John and dismissing it – just how long and how many guys would it take to imbibe even a pint? ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/13 "2015-07-17T14:50:20Z")
So basically this is stupid person saying stupid things, stupid people believing stupid things said by stupid person, and just as stupid people getting up in arms about stupid person saying stupid things and protesting it, thereby giving stupid things said a wider audience. Paging Barbara Streisand. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/14 "2015-07-17T14:52:12Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > Their website is so nutty that for a minute I thought it was a satire. > [Atlah.org](http://Atlah.org) The nutty things he says combined with the nuttiness of that site and the number of ads on that site makes me wonder about his sincerity. Extremely nutty public statements get noticed and generate traffic and clicks. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/15 "2015-07-17T14:55:36Z")
Before I even clicked on the link I thought, “Oh, it has to be that ATLAH church wacko” and sure enough I was right! I used to pass by that church with some regularity but never saw anyone going in or out of the building. His church signs were always insane enough that I was surprised they were never egged or graffiti tagged in any way. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/16 "2015-07-17T15:10:11Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > Before I even clicked on the link I thought, “Oh, it has to be that ATLAH church wacko” and sure enough I was right! I used to pass by that church with some regularity but never saw anyone going in or out of the building. His church signs were always insane enough that I was surprised they were never egged or graffiti tagged in any way. Take one for the team, visit, and report back. I would, but it’s _all the way_ up in Harlem. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/17 "2015-07-17T15:23:37Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > It would take a whole dairy farm of semen-cows to keep the whole Starbucks franchise supplied. Yeah, I wouldn’t want to be the guy who had to that idea to the bank for a business loan. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/18 "2015-07-17T15:26:04Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > Last year, he freaked out over Starbucks and their alleged propensity for putting gay semen in their lattes: > > [NYC pastor: Starbucks is flavoured with the semen of sodomites | PinkNews](http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2014/11/05/nyc-pastor-starbucks-is-flavoured-with-the-semen-of-sodomites/) > > Now, he says that this same demon semen (“the cream of the blood”–WTF?) will cause insanity, make you gay, and, well, who knows what else: **Demon Semen**??? BAND NAME! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Greenjeans](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.greenjeans/32/551_2.png) [@Mr.Greenjeans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Greenjeans)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/19 "2015-07-17T16:42:30Z")
> [@Oredigger77](#): > > I’ve got to say I’d bet there is a fairly linear relationship between how gay a guy is and how much semen they have in their mouth. I’m guessing the one-drop rule applies here. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373/20 "2015-07-17T17:12:32Z")
The Cognitive Dissonance Podcast plays some of this pastor’s recordings. They are soooooo funny! He goes on and on about how “life does not come out of the rectum, only death”. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nyc-pastor-obsessed-with-semen-demons-and-latte-oh-my/725373.md?page=2)