# O brave new world, that has such Dopers in it **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 21, 2006, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006 "2006-01-21T18:43:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/61 "2006-01-23T21:45:49Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Waht…not enough adjectives for you or is there something confusing about “dong?” And yes, it must also be blue. \ More condoms! And some penicillin! :eek: (forget the penicillin, we need astroglide, stat!) Queen is not sure she likes various and sundry members deciding their fates themselves. Then again, it beats us having to do so. Consider it Done: Arise, **Madame Anyrose** and bring forth much communion amongst your fellow peoples. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/62 "2006-01-23T21:53:53Z")
Can I be the Royal Horticulturalist? I like to grow things. I’ll be in the fields planting stuff if you bunch of grasshoppers need me. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/63 "2006-01-23T21:56:06Z")
> [@Sam Stone](#): > > Gotta love the optimism… Actually I intend to barter them for more useful stuff. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/64 "2006-01-23T22:37:37Z")
Hear ye, hear ye, good citizens of Kytherialand: Be it deemed that whatsoever you want to call yourselves, so it shall be, (for now or until I hear from the hot dude on the cloud). Henceforth, ye shall be named, **Lady featherlou of the Dirt**. **Zebra** shows promise as **Duke of Radar O’Reilly** --don’t forget the xray machine and the whiskey! ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/65 "2006-01-23T22:43:22Z")
Very well. Henceforth I shall be known as **Sir Spatial Rift of the Spacetime Continuum**. Y’all want to walk from one room to another without ending up on the other side of Kytherialand, y’all better be nice to me. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/66 "2006-01-24T01:43:51Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Can I be the Royal Horticulturalist? I like to grow things. > > I’ll be in the fields planting stuff if you bunch of grasshoppers need me. Sure. It’ll be your job to lead the whores to culture. > [@tomndebb](#): > > A bunch of Dopers on an uninhabited world without adult supervision? Can you say Lord of the Flies? Sure you can. **tom,** I will do my best to convince them not to come after the mods. When I’m finally overruled, however, you’re on your own. When you hear the saxaphones, start running toward the forest. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Emily\_Litella](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emily_litella/32/3370_2.png) [@Emily\_Litella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emily_Litella)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/67 "2006-01-24T02:07:33Z")
Since I’m holding all this toilet paper here, I guess that makes me the Duchess of Poo? C’mon, nobodys squeezing their cheeks? Walking with their legs crossed? I want to trade for food and stuff!!! (A bass with a bow?) ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/68 "2006-01-24T02:09:08Z")
> [@SeeNoReason](#): > > Since I’m holding all this toilet paper here, I guess that makes me the Duchess of Poo? C’mon, nobodys squeezing their cheeks? Walking with their legs crossed? I want to trade for food and stuff!!! > (A bass with a bow?) I’ll trade you a half hour, twice a week, of internet access, for a roll of TP (renewable as needed) ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/69 "2006-01-24T02:17:20Z")
We have a Scrabble tournament coming up, I can guarantee you a bye into the finals for a roll. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/70 "2006-01-24T02:33:32Z")
> [@SeeNoReason](#): > > Since I’m holding all this toilet paper here, I guess that makes me the Duchess of Poo? C’mon, nobodys squeezing their cheeks? Walking with their legs crossed? I want to trade for food and stuff!!! > (A bass with a bow?) I thought that was what the friendly little Squirrels were for. What? What? Okay how about these shiny reddish leaves growing conveniently on the vine over here? ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/71 "2006-01-24T02:39:44Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > I thought that was what the friendly little Squirrels were for. What? What? > Okay how about these shiny reddish leaves growing conveniently on the vine over here? just thinking about that gives me the :eek:'s ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/72 "2006-01-24T02:47:20Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > I thought that was what the friendly little Squirrels were for. They’re only friendly the first time. Trust me here. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/73 "2006-01-24T03:05:57Z")
> [@Mr Bus Guy](#): > > They’re only friendly the first time. > > Trust me here. You sound almost like you speak from experience. ::shudder:: I wonder which part of my silly post gave \*\*anyrose \*\* the Eeks? Jim ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/74 "2006-01-24T03:22:22Z")
It says in the Rules that poison ivy and oak are banned from this land. I have no say in what is done with small mamalian rodents. But why do you think Royalty always had such LONG, ermine robes? ---
**Author:** ![Leibowitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@Leibowitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leibowitz)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/75 "2006-01-24T04:15:24Z")
Can I make the sandwiches? I am very good at sandwiches. ---
**Author:** ![Leibowitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@Leibowitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leibowitz)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/76 "2006-01-24T04:21:46Z")
Can I make the sandwiches? I am very good at sandwiches. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/77 "2006-01-24T05:04:39Z")
Make mine a double decker. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/78 "2006-01-24T15:20:12Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Can I be the Royal Horticulturalist? I like to grow things. > > I’ll be in the fields planting stuff if you bunch of grasshoppers need me. M’Lady, as newly annointed [Court Jester](http://www.bandsbackstage.net/spotlight/C_JEST.jpg), er…I mean…-snerk-… newly appointed [Court Jester](http://www.fotosearch.com/comp/ISI/ISI107/DIFLI034.JPG), might I suggest that you crown our dear **featherlou** as The Royal Soil 😉 Ahhh, an echolalic Sammich Servant. Most excellent. Most excellent. \<—Twirls, bows, flatulates towards Royal Court, flees cackling from room in a manner befitting the Jester. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/79 "2006-01-24T20:57:46Z")
She is already the Lady of Dirt. But she could be Soiled as well. Up to her. No more flatulence in my Court. Kytherialand does not allow for that type of gas. Also, we all weigh 10 pounds less, automatically. And none of us have cellulite. It is done for lo, I have decreed it. (I could get used to this) ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/80 "2006-01-24T21:24:24Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > …Also, we all weigh 10 pounds less, automatically. And none of us have cellulite. > > It is done for lo, I have decreed it… excuse me, Your Majesty, only 10? couldn’t it be more like 25? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006.md?page=5)