# O brave new world, that has such Dopers in it **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 21, 2006, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006 "2006-01-21T18:43:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/81 "2006-01-24T21:30:55Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > \ > Henceforth, ye shall be named, **Lady featherlou of the Dirt**. > \ Ah, that’s lovely. Thanks ever so, your royal etc. 😃 (Royal SOIL, **Toonie**? Not bad for a jester, but I’m glad you’re not in charge of naming things.) ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/82 "2006-01-25T19:07:52Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > excuse me, Your Majesty, only 10? couldn’t it be more like 25? Oh, All RIGHT. You people never leave Us alone, do you? All day long, it’s “I need this” and “Can’t we have that?”. It’s enough for me to want to start an autonomous collective. Fine–if you wear size 14 and up–you lose 25 lbs. If a size 12 and under–you lose 10. guys who don’t use this sizing system are all supposed to be out doing manual labor for the ones who do. They’ll lose those love handles soon enough… NOW. We are going to have a nap. \ ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/83 "2006-01-25T23:48:06Z")
What about the guys - can they all gain _ahem_ a few inches? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/84 "2006-01-26T06:19:54Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > What about the guys - can they all gain _ahem_ a few inches? 😃 Holy crap, I’m tripping over this thing now… ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/85 "2006-01-26T16:31:47Z")
> [@Mr Bus Guy](#): > > Holy crap, I’m tripping over this thing now… I think she wants us to wrap “it” around the handle of our plow and plow that deep moist rich loamy furrow. Plow !! Plow !! Plow !! 😃 ( Oh, great. A Court Jester with loamy furrow issues. Great. ) ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/86 "2006-01-26T16:37:53Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > I think she wants us to wrap “it” around the handle of our plow and plow that deep moist rich loamy furrow. > > Plow !! Plow !! Plow !! > > 😃 > > ( Oh, great. A Court Jester with loamy furrow issues. Great. ) Back at it, Jester. We need to see some deep tilling in the early spring wheat. In fact, I want a freaking rice paddy–plow deeper, man, deeper! Right there-that’s it. 😉 Hmmm. As to the sweaty, hardworking men who would like to EARN a few inches…I proclaim one millimeter for every pound lost. that should hold 'em for a while. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/87 "2006-01-26T16:49:17Z")
**eleanorigby** Did you notice the google ads: **Magical Mystery Tour Bus** Amazing Cookie Jar Measures 12" x 5" x 6". Get It Free Today! \*\* Beatles Tees from Jimi’s\*\* Over 60 choices. Sizes Jr to 3XL. Sweatshirts, Pens, Throws, More. **The Fest for Beatles Fans** Giant Catalog & Fans Fest since '74 Every Book, CD, DVD, Shirt, & more **Beatles Shirt** Find great deals and save! Compare products, prices & stores. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/88 "2006-01-27T01:34:35Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > **eleanorigby** > Did you notice the google ads: > **Magical Mystery Tour Bus** > Amazing Cookie Jar Measures 12" x 5" x 6". Get It Free Today! > \*\* Beatles Tees from Jimi’s\*\* > Over 60 choices. Sizes Jr to 3XL. Sweatshirts, Pens, Throws, More. > **The Fest for Beatles Fans** > Giant Catalog & Fans Fest since '74 Every Book, CD, DVD, Shirt, & more > **Beatles Shirt** > Find great deals and save! Compare products, prices & stores. As it is written, so it shall be…let it be, babe. Just more proof that I am Queen. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/89 "2006-01-27T16:13:31Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Back at it, Jester. We need to see some deep tilling in the early spring wheat. > > In fact, I want a freaking rice paddy–plow deeper, man, deeper! Right there-that’s it. 😉 Aarrrgghh, yes M’Lady. Here? Or, p’raps a bit over there too?? 😛 ( Whistles “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot” as he plows the Regal Furrow. ) [Note to citizens- Her Highness calls her nether hair " early spring wheat". Make use of this knowledge with great care. 😃] > [@](#): > > Hmmm. As to the sweaty, hardworking men who would like to EARN a few inches…I proclaim one millimeter for every pound lost. Stingy Metric Bi… why yes, M’Lady. A millimeter is so very **generous** of you. Yes’m. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/90 "2006-01-27T16:18:51Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Aarrrgghh, yes M’Lady. Here? Or, p’raps a bit over there too?? 😛 ( Whistles “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot” as he plows the Regal Furrow. ) > > [Note to citizens- Her Highness calls her nether hair " early spring wheat". Make use of this knowledge with great care. 😃] > > Stingy Metric Bi… why yes, M’Lady. A millimeter is so very **generous** of you. Yes’m. GAck–I, I mean, We couldn’t think of anything else off the top of Our head (so to speak). A mm IS very generous–and you get to lose weight, too! The more fit you are–the larger you become. 😃 And it is Royal Furrow–cripes, there’s a reason you’re Jester! ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/91 "2006-01-27T16:36:06Z")
Darned tootin’ - the Court Jester cracks wise. He isn’t **actually** wise. Never ask a man wearing clown white and a gargantuan codpiece to act above his station. 🙂 What’s the difference between Regal and Roya, anywhoo? ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/92 "2006-01-27T16:39:06Z")
Regal refers to the manner in which Royalty acts. Your attitude is regal, but your office is Royal. Any questions? And change your outfit, please. We would like Harlequin pattern, stretchy leotards, with “snowboard” hat, Nike hightops and a vacous expression. Keep the codpiece. See what you can do, 'kay? ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/93 "2006-01-28T04:05:15Z")
Fine, your “highness”. [The Costume](http://www.thenoodlebowl.com/jesters/images/names/harlequin_full-size.jpg) [The Hat](http://www.hatsinthebelfry.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/19084multijester_350.jpg) [The Codpiece](http://www.schmitthenner.com/images/SCH0021.jpg) ( not entirely work-safe… 😉 ) [The Spare Codpiece](http://www.artbeat.co.za/admin/images/28_261_codpiece_web.jpg) ( work safe ) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/94 "2006-01-28T15:25:18Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > \ > [The Codpiece](http://www.schmitthenner.com/images/SCH0021.jpg) ( not entirely work-safe… 😉 \ > > 😃 This looks like you took a picture of one you just had lying around the house. Actually, I was hoping for one of those upturned ones like I saw on tv (Blackadder, maybe?) ---
**Author:** ![Jake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/95 "2006-01-28T22:57:52Z")
I thought we were carrying-on. Anyway I propose you dub me (not to hard) the “Evil Soothsayer!” I’ll give you bad advice and start wars and such. Well, SOMEBODY has to be the bad guy! :dubious: For a small fee I can do predictions too. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/96 "2006-01-29T01:37:06Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > I’m bringing condoms. :dubious: 57,000 people to populate an entire planet and you want to bring birth control? The astroglide might be useful though. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/97 "2006-01-29T21:45:19Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > Ten silver saxes? > [@SeeNoReason](#): > > (A bass with a bow?) Thank you! 😛 And anyway, I thought he dong’s coloring was ICE blue, not just blue. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/98 "2006-01-30T14:38:51Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > This looks like you took a picture of one you just had lying around the house. Actually, I was hoping for one of those upturned ones like I saw on tv (Blackadder, maybe?) Sorry to say, my adder isn’t black. However, the codpiece **does** keep it from poking up. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/99 "2006-01-30T15:39:55Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Sorry to say, my adder isn’t black. However, the codpiece **does** keep it from poking up. > > 😉 They’re calling those adders now, we use to call them trouser snakes? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006/100 "2006-01-30T16:02:42Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > They’re calling those adders now, we use to call them trouser snakes? 😉 Sure-they’re deadly, no? 😉 **Jake** --an Evil Soothsayer? That’d be…jake! 😃 Can you wear something akin to John Cleese’s outfit as the sorcerer in Holy Grail? I like the rams horns headpiece. **Toonie Jester** –LOVE the second codpiece! I have just the place for it in the castle! \ It’s not easy being Queen, you know. But someone must keep the seamstresses of small, blue curtains and square, bulky handbags in business. Note to self: these good folk must have a place in the Kytherialand. I still need: A Master of the Horse A Senior Advisor Minister of the Interior Several Badly Behaved Blood Relatives Who Will Embarass Me Often Archbishop of Pink Unicorns and Og Sheriff Chancellor of a checkered patterned floor which will morph into Exchequer Lady of the Robes Ladies in Waiting (didn’t you always wonder, waiting for what?) Page Boy (or two) Knights-must be prepared to Quest. Cook Serfs Peasants Indentured servants/Apprentices Assorted Other British Period Film Folk Who Will Fill In Gaps Nicely. (I wonder if Kytheria will ever forgive me for hijacking this thread so badly…sorry.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-brave-new-world-that-has-such-dopers-in-it/341006.md?page=4)