# O.K., so what's the Shaggy Dog Story? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 30, 2004, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-k-so-whats-the-shaggy-dog-story/247776 "2004-05-30T11:02:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-k-so-whats-the-shaggy-dog-story/247776/1 "2004-05-30T11:02:13Z")
In [this recent Thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=258379) about the Aristocrats Joke, **Cisco** references the similar Shaggy Dog Story. In a prior [Aristocrats Joke Thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=235974) the same Shaggy Dog Story reference was made by **pravnik**. So, what’s the Shaggy Dog Story??? Prior to reading about the Aristocrats Joke I was not familiar with it- but I was familiar with other jokes of the same tradition\* so I did understand the point of and the humor of the Aristocrats joke when I read it. With this understanding I can deduce the nature of the Shaggy Dog Story, but still I’d like to know how it goes. \*The one I know is the “Fuck you, Clown!” Joke. I’ll be happy to retell it if anyone feels the need to know it. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-k-so-whats-the-shaggy-dog-story/247776/2 "2004-05-30T11:20:28Z")
A Shaggy Dog Story is a really really long story. It’s drawn out to the point of people groaning and walking away. However, the people that tough it out and stay until the end of the story are rewarded with…nothing! A friend of mine has a favorite about a guy who goes to an exotic Eastern country and hears a strange noise from far off in the distance while in his hotel room. When he asks about the sound he is told that he cannot be told because he is not a monk. The guy gets so curious that he goes through rigorous training and much anguish and pain (resulting eventually in the loss of all his limbs) to become a monk. After a loooooong description of this process, he is finally told to what the sound is. The listener invariably says “Well, what was the sound?!”, to which my friend replies, “I cannot tell you, for you are not a monk.” This particular one probably wouldn’t be considered an exact Shaggy Dog Story by the most rigorous standards, but it is in the same spirit and very similar. The only other one I can think of right now is a very long description of a day in the life of three different men, ending with the statement that “Two out of three people prefer Corn Flakes to Cheerios.” ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-k-so-whats-the-shaggy-dog-story/247776/3 "2004-05-30T11:44:19Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > A Shaggy Dog Story is a really really long story. It’s drawn out to the point of people groaning and walking away. However, the people that tough it out and stay until the end of the story are rewarded with…nothing! So, are you saying that “Shaggy Dog Story” is just the generic name for this type of story? Or is there an actual Shaggy Dog Story about a shaggy dog? I do appreciate your explanation of what **a** Shaggy Dog Story is, your explanation is very well stated, but I do already understand how it all works and the point of it. What I’m asking for is **the** Shaggy Dog Story after which this type of story is named. Or isn’t there one? Thanks for chiming in! ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-k-so-whats-the-shaggy-dog-story/247776/4 "2004-05-30T11:48:23Z")
There was a prototypical Shaggy Dog Story which involved a dog which was shaggy, hence the name. (Unfortunately, I do not recall it.) But the term has become generic for a long-build-up/absurd punchline story. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-k-so-whats-the-shaggy-dog-story/247776/5 "2004-05-30T11:52:01Z")
> [@bienville](#): > > What I’m asking for is **the** Shaggy Dog Story after which this type of story is named. Or isn’t there one? Oh, I’m pretty sure there is one. I’ve never heard it or read it but I’m pretty sure I’ve read _about_ it. And I should clarify just a touch why I think the Aristocrats merits a comparision to Shaggy Dog Stories. Like I said: A Shaggy Dog Story tortures its listeners before giving no payoff simply by being very, _very_ long. The Aristocrats similarly tortures its listeners before giving no payoff simply by being very, _very_ disgusting. IMO it’s one of the greatest jokes every told for this very reason (but then again I like Shaggy Dog Stories as long as you’re a good enough storyteller to fake me out, which is hard to do since I’ve heard quite a few of them.) By the way, what’s the “Fuck you, Clown!” joke? ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-k-so-whats-the-shaggy-dog-story/247776/6 "2004-05-30T12:16:32Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > By the way, what’s the “Fuck you, Clown!” joke? Oh, boy . . . you’re going to have to give me a few minutes. I’ll be right back. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ecks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ecks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ecks)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-k-so-whats-the-shaggy-dog-story/247776/7 "2004-05-30T12:23:38Z")
The original shaggy dog story involved a man who saw an ad promiseing a large reward for the return of a lost shaggy dog. The man goes to great length to capture and return the dog, traveling continents in the process, only to be told “my dog wasn’t that shaggy” when he finds the owner. ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-k-so-whats-the-shaggy-dog-story/247776/8 "2004-05-30T13:08:48Z")
I also heard a version of the shaggy dog, in which the owner of a shaggy dog takes his pet to a shaggy dog contest and keeps winning - it goes through every contest, starting with the local one, through to the Shaggiest Dog On Earth contest and the dog wins at every stage, at which point the dog goes to the Shaggiest Dog in the Universe contest, where the judge says: “that’s not a very shaggy dog.” Yup, long and ultimately anticlimactic. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-k-so-whats-the-shaggy-dog-story/247776/9 "2004-05-30T13:15:31Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > By the way, what’s the “Fuck you, Clown!” joke? _Bienville’s Own Humble Retelling of the Classic Tale:_ > [@](#): > > A long time ago a young boy went to the circus. He was thrilled. He loved everything about it. He loved the animals. He loved the acrobats. He loved the trapeze artists. But his favorite were the clowns. Their costumes, their make-up, their crazy antics- Oh! How they made him laugh! > > Outside the tent, during intermission their was a particularly funny looking clown strolling along entertaining the crowd. The little boy ran up to say hello. > > “Why, hello” said the clown, “Are you a horse?” > “No” giggled the little boy. > “Are you a donkey?” > “No” giggled the little boy. > “Then you must be a horse’s ass!” > > Everybody laughed heartily as the little boy fell for the clown’s clever joke. But tears welled up in the little boys eyes. His love of the circus had been trampled upon. The taunt of the clown hit him like a slap in the face. He was most frustrated at the fact that he was unable to deliver a witty comeback, being just a little boy and not quite so clever yet. But he determined to grow clever and strong so that if he ever encountered the clown again he would be prepared. > > He mastered chess to sharpen his mind. He undertook vocal training so as to avoid getting tongue-tied at his moment of triumph. He studied Oscar Wilde to sharpen his wit. By the time he was finished elementary school he was the king of schoolyard taunting circles. The did not exist a “Yo mamma so . . .” joke that he could not top. In college he majored in Drama and he joined an improvisational comedy troupe, ever intent on realizing his revenge. > > Upon graduation from college he tracked down the circus. As fate would have it, the offending clown was still with the same circus. The boy, now a young man, walked right up to the clown and said, “Hello.” > > “Why, hello” said the clown, “Are you a horse?” > “No” firmly stated the young man. > “Are you a donkey?” > “No” repeated the young man. > “Then you must be a horse’s ass!” > > Then the young man opened his mouth and nothing came out. Instead, tears welled up in his eyes as the memory of his original injury rushed back upon him. He had been so intent on revenge all these years that he had never faced the pain. He immediately began sobbing uncontrollably. All the people laughed heartily as the young man fell for the clown’s clever joke. > > The young man was humiliated to be bested twice by the same clown. He was determined that the next time they met he would come out on top. He underwent extensive therapy so that he could face his inner demons and heal the little boy inside who has been so hurt by this horrid clown. He found a woman to love him and he married her so that he would have a mother-in-law against whose constant insults he could always be practicing his skills at the clever come-back. One day he saw an ad in the paper which read: > > Professor William McCloskey PhD. > Instructor of Verbal Warfare > Classes offered for all levels > > The young man contacted the professor and began taking clases at the advanced level. He studied with Professor McCloskey for ten years until the professor told him, “Son, I have no more to teach you. You have surpassed you Master. Go, and speak your cruel beautiful wit to the world.” > > Our hero tracked down the circus. As fate would have it, the offending clown was still with the same circus. The young man, now a middle-aged man, walked right up to the clown and said, “Hello.” > > “Why, hello” said the clown, “Are you a horse?” > “No” firmly stated the middle-aged man. > “Are you a donkey?” > “No” repeated the middle-aged man. > “Then you must be a horse’s ass!” > > Then the middle-aged man opened his mouth and nothing came out. He had his witty come-back all ready but he completely drew a blank. To be so close to the goal he had been striving for all his life was too much pressure for him to face. All the people laughed heartily as the middle-aged man fell for the clown’s clever joke. > > After this episode the man’s life fell apart. He sank into despair. His wife left him. He lost his job. He lost all sense of purpose. He eventually became penniless and had to live out his old age on the street. As people passed by he would whimper, “Please, can you spare a little something so an old man can eat?” > > One day as he said, “Please, can you spare a little something so an old man can eat?” to a passer-by who was wearing baggy pants and colorful shoes, the passer-by stopped and greeted him: > > “Why, hello” said the passer-by, “Are you a horse?”, the old man couldn’t believe his eyes. Here in front of him was his life-long nemesis. The very same clown who he had encountered as a little boy. > “No” firmly stated the old man. > “Are you a donkey?” > “No” repeated the old man. > “Then you must be a horse’s ass!” laughed the clown. > > The old man stood up off the ground. Looked his interlocutor right in the eye, and said what he had wanted to say his entire life: > > “FUCK YOU, CLOWN!” I’ve made it longer in prior tellings, but I’m short on time right now. Sorry! ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-k-so-whats-the-shaggy-dog-story/247776/10 "2004-05-30T13:21:12Z")
Not exactly a shaggy dog story, but I’m reminded of Mark Twain’s short story “The Story of the Old Ram”. An inebriated man starts to relate the story of his grandfather’s old ram, then gets sidetracked, then gets sidetracked from the sidetrack, sidetracked ^3, and so forth; until he passes out drunk having never gotten around to actually saying anything about his grandfather’s ram. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-k-so-whats-the-shaggy-dog-story/247776/11 "2004-05-30T13:24:46Z")
P.S. thanks to **Johnny Ecks** and **Idlewild** for giving good answers to the specific question in the OP! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/o-k-so-whats-the-shaggy-dog-story/247776/12 "2004-05-30T13:58:16Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > Not exactly a shaggy dog story, but I’m reminded of Mark Twain’s short story “The Story of the Old Ram”. An inebriated man starts to relate the story of his grandfather’s old ram, then gets sidetracked, then gets sidetracked from the sidetrack, sidetracked ^3, and so forth; until he passes out drunk having never gotten around to actually saying anything about his grandfather’s ram. I don’t remember who but there’s a stand-up comic whose act is telling stories that get sidetracked again, again, and again. He eventually finds his way back to the original story, finishes it and all his sidetracks.