# Oakminster, this is for you **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 15, 2006, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757 "2006-06-15T02:16:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/101 "2006-06-15T20:51:25Z")
I’m with blinkingblinking. I have enough fucking problems buying them for my own self. All these different applicator types, taken apart to they can be more discreet in your purse, some with scent, all these different absorbencies… I stand in the aisle dumbfounded for a couple minutes every time. Don’t get me started on the pad choices. I’d be taking a chance asking my best girlfriend to buy me tampons, let alone my poor husband. Shopping list, camera phone… it would still be a major process. Husband was great with the diapers. I’ll give him a free pass on the tampax. I figure each couple can draw their own line in the sand over stupid shit. In my marriage the hot issue of overrated emotional importance is the correct way to load the dishwasher. ---
**Author:** ![blinkingblinking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@blinkingblinking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blinkingblinking)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/102 "2006-06-15T22:02:13Z")
[QUOTE=CrankyAsAnOldMan] I’m with blinkingblinking. I have enough fucking problems buying them for my own self. All these different applicator types, taken apart to they can be more discreet in your purse, some with scent, all these different absorbencies… I stand in the aisle dumbfounded for a couple minutes every time. Don’t get me started on the pad choices. I’d be taking a chance asking my best girlfriend to buy me tampons, let alone my poor husband. Shopping list, camera phone… it would still be a major process. Husband was great with the diapers. I’ll give him a free pass on the tampax. I figure each couple can draw their own line in the sand over stupid shit. In my marriage the hot issue of overrated emotional importance is the correct way to load the dishwasher. [/QUOTE] There are different colours now. I still have no idea what the difference is between panty liners and tampons. Is there a difference ? I tried to ask a girlfriend one time. She would not tell me ---
**Author:** ![hawksgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@hawksgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawksgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/103 "2006-06-15T22:05:28Z")
Tampons go in. Pantyliners, ya know, line your panties, like a small version of a pad. You’re welcome. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/104 "2006-06-15T22:36:42Z")
There is enough material in this thread for a couple episodes of Seinfeld, at the least. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/105 "2006-06-15T22:48:11Z")
this thread made me giggle. I too find it slightly odd that someone wouldn’t but things that their SO needs, but I would hardly consider that enough to cast asperations on their manhood or lack thereof. Knowing what quiche is of course is a different matter. 😉 Welcome to the SDMB **Oakminster** , I’d offer you quiche but seeing as you don’t eat it…how about this leftover pizza? ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/106 "2006-06-15T22:52:16Z")
[QUOTE=Antinor01] Welcome to the SDMB **Oakminster** , I’d offer you quiche but seeing as you don’t eat it…how about this leftover pizza? [/QUOTE] Now THAT is the kind of thing a REAL man would eat. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/107 "2006-06-15T23:33:44Z")
[QUOTE=jeffrice] > [@flight](#): > > OK, you don’t want to… but why? What is the reason that you have a specific desire not to buy them? Who cares why? The guy stated his preference in IMHO, got hauled into the Pit where he defended himself spectacularly, endured endless tisk-tisking by PC folks, and finally explained in plain, blunt terms that he just didn’t want to. Leave the guy alone! [/QUOTE] Firstly, I haven’t been at all aggressive or accusatory when asking him, and secondly, this was the OP he originally responded to: > [@Buckler of Swashing](#): > > Girls, feel free to answer on behalf your SO/whoever. > > I overheard a discussion in line for my too-hot-chocolate a few mornings ago. A woman complained to a friend that she had to come all the way back into town simply because her husband had done the grocery shopping that morning but had returned empty-handed on the tampon front, citing embarrassment. I have heard of this sort of thing before, although a quick poll of my closer male friends reveals no particular issue with buying sanitary stuff for girlfriends. But some guys are apparently too squicked or embarrassed to buy tampons/pads/whatever. > > I find it a little wierd. I mean, if you’re that close to someone - especially a husband & wife - how can you still want to pretend that menstruation doesn’t happen? If you’re close enough to be having sex - it seems odd that it would squick you enough to prevent you from the simple act of adding a small package to your shopping basket, just so that you don’t have to think about it. > > As for embarrassment - the WORST thing anyone that sees you is going to think is that you have a girlfriend! Or wife! Is that SO awful? > > Hence… > > \*\*Will you/does your SO buy tampons ? > > If not - what gives and do you find this attitude to be very common?\*\* As his attitude is uncommon I would find it interesting to know what causes him to have it, not to mention it was asked in the very OP that started this whole thing. Oh, and as to who cares why. I do. Because I find it interesting. You know, the reason I bothered to read the original thread, or this one, or bother subscribing to the boards at all for that matter. ---
**Author:** ![MelCthefirst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@MelCthefirst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MelCthefirst)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/108 "2006-06-16T00:03:50Z")
[QUOTE=Cemetery Savior] This is a firm “meh” on the indignance-meter. I also will not buy feminine products for my wife. Why? It has a short story attached, so feel free to Pit me if you don’t want to read on. My wife had the flu. She asked me to go to the store, and buy cough meds, Advil, and among other things, some “pantyliners”. I asked what I perceived to be some well-thought-out follow-up questions: [ol] [li]What brand of Tampon do you want?[/li][li]Are they all coated with adhesive?[/li][li]Are there different colors?[/li][/ol] I had a good reason for all three of those questions, and I was smirked at for all three. Apparently, panty-liners are NOT Tampons. She just thought it was weird that I even asked #2 (I saw her removing a liner from her underwear once, and heard it peel off with a tape-like sound…I was inquiring as to whther or not she wanted one with adhesive if there was a choice), and #3 made her laugh out loud (thought it was like brassieres…maybe color varied by panty color?). So, I went to the store after hearing what she wanted (which I kinda forgot…seemed needlessly complicated). I was absolutely bewildered by the selection. I picked a brand I recognized, thought it seemed workable or even better than the ones I saw her use, and bought them (a sale for 64 of them!). It turns out that I bought a variety of Depends Adult undergarments. I still get laughed at about that. Therefore, I won’t do it any loner, as a matter of principle. -Cem [/QUOTE] You’re funny - this made me laugh out loud. Like your questioning style, even if it wasn’t right on the money. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/109 "2006-06-16T00:10:51Z")
[QUOTE=flight] Firstly, I haven’t been at all aggressive or accusatory when asking him, and secondly, this was the OP he originally responded to: As his attitude is uncommon I would find it interesting to know what causes him to have it, not to mention it was asked in the very OP that started this whole thing. Oh, and as to who cares why. I do. Because I find it interesting. You know, the reason I bothered to read the original thread, or this one, or bother subscribing to the boards at all for that matter. [/QUOTE] Thank you! My “why” question is why do people get to a certain point in a discussion (especially a somewhat heated one) and resort to questioning why others care or want to know? On the intelligence meter it’s right up their with “if you don’t like it, don’t read the thread”. This forum may be called “the pit”, but it, like 99% of what gets talked about on SDMB it’s about mainly mundane, pointless matters of opinion (not usually very humble, at that). I find it somewhat passive-agressive to offer a viewpoint, not expound on it and then get pissy when people are asking for clarification. Is one bound by law to do so? No. It’s call “participation”. Why hang out here if you don’t want to engage. By the way, I’m talking in general, not just about this instance. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/110 "2006-06-16T00:19:28Z")
I started this train wreck, so I think I should explain a little more. Perhaps an anecdote will help. First off, my post in IMHO that followed Oakmeisters seemed to directly attack him. For those that haven’t read this entire thread, that wasn’t my intent as I hadn’t seen his post because mine was delayed and I did not read the most recent posts. Then things heated up. Anyway, in my addressing manhood, or being a man, I feel that it is both the man and the woman’s duty to take care of each other. I also think that not wanting to buy feminine products is childish and stubborn. That would have been a better choice of words. Anyway, the anecdote. My Wife and I have a very good friend (call here Jane) that had a boyfriend (call him Jim) that both my Wife and I tolerated. He was a pushy know it all with everyone. Tough guy. He had no problem coming into our home and insulting you. I had had enough of the guy. But, it was a friend of a friend. One night, Jane and Jim where at our house. Jim had put Jane’s new bike on her car. Roof rack. Jane had never worked with one of these systems before. At the point when Jane needed to get the bike off the car, she asked for Jim’s help (remember, it was night, and Jane had never done this before. Jane is short and Jim is tall). Instead of helping her and explaining how to do it, Jim came out and told Jane “You do it, you need to figure it out sooner or later”. And he sat back offering no assistance or advice, smug look on his face. I ended up helping Jane. Jim thought he was being a man, when in fact he was being an asshole. Now, this may not seem to relate to the subject at hand, but that story came to my mind in the IMHO thread. Jim’s opinion was ‘it’s your problem, you figure it out’. I see men that won’t buy tampons as doing the same thing. I don’t get that attitude. And further try to clear things up. Being a man to me, has non of the macho connotations that some people may attach to it. To me first it means taking care of your family. It means that if there is a job to do, you do it. So, maybe that puts my position in a different light. Maybe not. But I thought I owed everyone a bit more of an explanation. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/111 "2006-06-16T01:05:54Z")
[QUOTE=enipla] I started this train wreck, so I think I should explain a little more. Perhaps an anecdote will help. First off, my post in IMHO that followed Oakmeisters seemed to directly attack him. For those that haven’t read this entire thread, that wasn’t my intent as I hadn’t seen his post because mine was delayed and I did not read the most recent posts. Then things heated up. Anyway, in my addressing manhood, or being a man, I feel that it is both the man and the woman’s duty to take care of each other. I also think that not wanting to buy feminine products is childish and stubborn. That would have been a better choice of words. Anyway, the anecdote. My Wife and I have a very good friend (call here Jane) that had a boyfriend (call him Jim) that both my Wife and I tolerated. He was a pushy know it all with everyone. Tough guy. He had no problem coming into our home and insulting you. I had had enough of the guy. But, it was a friend of a friend. One night, Jane and Jim where at our house. Jim had put Jane’s new bike on her car. Roof rack. Jane had never worked with one of these systems before. At the point when Jane needed to get the bike off the car, she asked for Jim’s help (remember, it was night, and Jane had never done this before. Jane is short and Jim is tall). Instead of helping her and explaining how to do it, Jim came out and told Jane “You do it, you need to figure it out sooner or later”. And he sat back offering no assistance or advice, smug look on his face. I ended up helping Jane. Jim thought he was being a man, when in fact he was being an asshole. Now, this may not seem to relate to the subject at hand, but that story came to my mind in the IMHO thread. Jim’s opinion was ‘it’s your problem, you figure it out’. I see men that won’t buy tampons as doing the same thing. I don’t get that attitude. And further try to clear things up. Being a man to me, has non of the macho connotations that some people may attach to it. To me first it means taking care of your family. It means that if there is a job to do, you do it. So, maybe that puts my position in a different light. Maybe not. But I thought I owed everyone a bit more of an explanation. [/QUOTE] Let me say this: I was one of the few people who was glad you had pitted **Oakmeister**. I don’t agree with your choice of words, but do agree with the spirit. Where I disagree is the whole bit about a man being someone who takes care of his family and doing a job. _Everyone_ should be about these things, both men and women. I wouldn’t want my husband or boyfriend picking up my period products out of chilvary and obligation to “man’s duty”. Being on a your period is awkward as it is without a guy turning it into his special moment of honor. If he did it out of just plain niceness, that would be enough. Being a lover means taking care of the people you love. To me, it has nothing to do with maleness, everything to do with empathy. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/112 "2006-06-16T01:32:37Z")
Yes. And thank you. I guess I’m still not clear. > [@monstro](#): > > Where I disagree is the whole bit about a man being someone who takes care of his family and doing a job. > [@enipla](#): > > Anyway, in my addressing manhood, or being a man, I feel that it is both the man and the woman’s duty to take care of each other. I enjoy working on our house. I’m putting an addition on. I’m good at it. It’s my hobby. My Wife isn’t good at it but helps when I need it. My Wifes gig right now is triatholons. I’m not good at that but I help her with it. It’s both our jobs to help each other. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/113 "2006-06-16T02:11:46Z")
Based on all that’s been happening so far in this thread, I also would like to welcome \*\*Oakminster \*\* into the “Username that Nobody Can Spell Right” club. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/114 "2006-06-16T06:05:45Z")
[QUOTE=Ensign Edison] We’re – well, I’m not, and I don’t think Yoo was either – not talking about his position on the issue. We’re talking for his toolish reasons for it and tooly presentation of those reasons. [/QUOTE] Right. He can’t do something nice for a loved because he’s “old school”. And he’s not “PC”. :rolleyes: He’s a tool. He may have something of value to contribute, but if he leaves, I;ll not miss him. And I won’t avoid calling out his toolishness just because he’s new and we’re afraid he can’t handle the criticism. I mean, c’mon, old school? Give me a fucking break. He’s a pussy who’s afraid to be seen buying tampons. ---
**Author:** ![blinkingblinking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@blinkingblinking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blinkingblinking)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/115 "2006-06-16T11:20:09Z")
[QUOTE=hawksgirl] Tampons go in. Pantyliners, ya know, line your panties, like a small version of a pad. You’re welcome. [/QUOTE] I must be incredibly naive. Why do panties need to be lined? Like a pad? What kind of pad? Writing? As I said, I have no idea about buying this stuff. I would have no idea. On the other hand I would have no problem about buying it if I understood it. What, do people get embarrassed about carrying them around in the trolley and the 16 year old checkout girl. Why would you care what they think ? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/116 "2006-06-16T11:44:12Z")
Aren’t we jumping the gun a bit here? I mean, is it yet established that there is any likelihood of a female human actually occupying such a position as to desire that the burping, farting, non-PC **Oakminster** should buy her sanitary products? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/117 "2006-06-16T12:30:46Z")
My wife and I have an agreement. I don’t have to buy tampons, and she doesn’t have to kill spiders. 'S’all good. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/118 "2006-06-16T12:44:54Z")
[QUOTE=blinkingblinking] I must be incredibly naive. Why do panties need to be lined? Like a pad? What kind of pad? Writing? As I said, I have no idea about buying this stuff. I would have no idea. On the other hand I would have no problem about buying it if I understood it. What, do people get embarrassed about carrying them around in the trolley and the 16 year old checkout girl. Why would you care what they think ? [/QUOTE] Answering just the first question: Girlyparts can be leaky and unclean without going all the way into bucket-of-pig’s-blood-over-Carrie’s-head mode. In that case a thin absorbent disposable lining for the pantie gusset is a blessing. > [@Mangetout](#): > > Aren’t we jumping the gun a bit here? > > I mean, is it yet established that there is any likelihood of a female human actually occupying such a position as to desire that the burping, farting, non-PC Oakminster should buy her sanitary products? Yah, if you don’t obediently trot out and buy her cuntmice it’s obvious you’ll never get a woman at all. But if you read the thread… > [@Oakminster](#): > > As for the whole “Look at me, I have a girlfriend” crapola, I’d respond yeah, so do I…but she doesn’t make me buy fucking tampons. I’m old school. I don’t do the sensitive man horseshit. I’m not PC. I also smoke, fart, drink, scratch and curse. Deal with with it, or kiss my ass. _Ipse dixit_. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/119 "2006-06-16T12:56:14Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] buy her cuntmice . [/QUOTE] :eek: What does that mean, exactly? Urban Dictionary doesn’t even have it! ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757/120 "2006-06-16T13:01:08Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] Based on all that’s been happening so far in this thread, I also would like to welcome \*\*Oakminster \*\* into the “Username that Nobody Can Spell Right” club. 😃 [/QUOTE] Good call, **Claricough**. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oakminster-this-is-for-you/360757.md?page=7)