# Obese Woman Ruins Theatre **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 13, 2006, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873 "2006-01-13T20:28:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![bubastis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bubastis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubastis)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/141 "2006-01-16T23:33:04Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > I’m curious: has anyone ever spoken up at the time? Bitching on the internet is one thing, but I would NEVER speak out about this sort of thing in public. I may not have much, but I have manners. Of course, if I knew I would have the support of the teeming millions, thats another thing… ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/142 "2006-01-16T23:52:25Z")
Hey, now, let’s go easy on **mswas**. After all, fat people can always lose the weight-stupid is forever. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/143 "2006-01-17T00:43:16Z")
> [@Futile Gesture](#): > > Well this thread turned out pretty much as expected. Are you saying this thread is getting too big? Ow! Ow! Stop it! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/144 "2006-01-17T01:08:31Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Hey, now, let’s go easy on **mswas**. After all, fat people can always lose the weight-stupid is forever. 15,001 Erek ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/145 "2006-01-17T01:10:17Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > OK, I trust you. I only fly about once a year so I can afford a double ticket. I haven’t bought one this way but the last time I flew I was uncomfortable enough that I decided next time that’s what I’ll do. It’s a one-time hit versus the very uncomfortable daily decision to exercise or eat more healthfully. I live in a small town so movies are rarely sold out so I can stretch out in the one seat I buy. > > I have to make some concessions to being too big or heavy for certain things but this is infrequent enough that it doesn’t outweigh what would be the every moment decision to exercise and eat more healthfully. I do think almost all the time about the disdain I assume most people have for me but then I also think, I’m just a person, and isn’t it interesting all the different shapes and sizes people come in, and why is one better than another. > > I decided to stop beating myself up about the fact that I hate to exercise and just go with the fact that that’s who I am. Food is a treat for me and just happens to be one that produces results that are considered unattractive or negative to society, rather than other things which may hurt in other ways but leave the person looking fine. I dunno, I don’t think most people care all that much. It becomes an inconvenience once in a while, but not that often. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/146 "2006-01-17T01:12:45Z")
> [@kidchameleon](#): > > Dude, if you’re going to drag up that old pit thread, I layed out the specific posts where you attempted to prove that somehow pheromones relayed our genetic composition and the only cite you provided refuted your arguement. I’ve never once seen you come up with a legitimate cite that had to do with what the arguement was about. I gave a cite. I’m sorry you were unable to comprehend it. Phermones are unique to each person, so is genetic code. Genetic code determines our physical makeup, therefore our PHERMONES that are unique like how our DNA is unique is determined by genetics. It’s not a difficult concept to grasp. But then again, _I_ am the dumb one right? Wow you’re a fucking idiot. Erek ---
**Author:** ![MizGrand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cdc98d/32.png) [@MizGrand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MizGrand)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/147 "2006-01-17T01:14:21Z")
> [@Futile Gesture](#): > > Well this thread turned out pretty much as expected. If ever there was a more appropriate Username/response… 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/148 "2006-01-17T01:14:57Z")
How you look is determined by genetics, yet somehow how you smell isn’t right? ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/149 "2006-01-17T01:37:15Z")
Here, now we’ll get someone to weigh in and we’ll both lose a little bit of ignorance on the subject once and for all. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=7004024#post7004024](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=7004024#post7004024) ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/150 "2006-01-17T02:51:50Z")
**mswas** , you have a way of over-simplifying some very complex subjects. Not even science has all of the answers to food addiction, hunger, eating disorders, obesity, compulsive eating, over-eating and what causes all of it. A person may not be aware themselves whether she or he is eating out of hunger, compulsion, or for pleasure. I would _never_ have dreamed that my own inclination to overeat could be controlled with a medication that affections the same part of the brain which causes seizures. But it does. Sixty years of the impulse to eat was gone in a flash. At the same time I also ended compulsive shopping and cut my smoking in half with even trying. I would never dream that fat people want your “pity.” I would think that like other people, most of them just want to be treated like everyone else. I_do_ think that it’s interesting to note that it was the large woman who moved away from **bubastis.** I wonder what message she was trying to send. **Bubastis** , you don’t make much sense: > [@](#): > > I really, genuinely do have sympathy for the obese. > [@](#): > > …Originally I had intended to be really mean and rag on the obese. One doesn’t intend to be mean and rag on people that they have sympathy for. That is contradictory. > [@](#): > > I personally was annoyed by the woman, but not offended by her. . It didn’t offend you to be annoyed? Neat trick. > [@](#): > > Oh, and the remark about the fire hazard? yeah, I threw that in for a cheap gag. Another expression of your sympathy? Now, tell me why it was that she moved before you had a chance to? And was the _only_ vacant seat in the entire theater on the other side of her? Since it was, in your own words, a full house, how did she know that it was okay to leave a seat vacant between her and her friends and occupy one that might have been sold? What happened to the people who were sitting on the aisle at the beginning? ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/151 "2006-01-17T05:30:42Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > **mswas** , you have a way of over-simplifying some very complex subjects. Not even science has all of the answers to food addiction, hunger, eating disorders, obesity, compulsive eating, over-eating and what causes all of it. A person may not be aware themselves whether she or he is eating out of hunger, compulsion, or for pleasure. That is certainly true, and Ken Lay may not be completely aware of what underlying factors are causing him to steal money. My friend the Ketamine addict may not be aware of what problems are feeding into his Ketamine addiction. When people have self-destructive addictive behavior tolerance and compassion only goes so far. I’m sorry if Mommy never loved them, or if they have an overactive thyroid or are obsessive compulsive, but we ALL deal with these things, and I believe that people have a will, and if they truly want to overcome their addiction that they will be able to in MOST cases. My Mommy died when I was 4 and my Dad married a woman that liked to beat me with wire flyswatters and telephones, only to call the cops on my when I would grab her wrists to get her to stop hitting me, and then after taking a beating I’d have to listen to the cop tell me that it’s ok for my parents to beat me, and then I’d have to take a beating from my Father for defending myself against his psychotic schizophrenic bitch wife. I grew up, I got married, I beat my wife. I lost that wife, it was the most heartbreaking experience I ever went through after a childhood of heartbreak. But you know what? Nobody really had much sympathy for someone that beat their wife. I had one (girl)friend who knew us both pretty well tell me that she understood why I hit her. From people who didn’t know us both well, I got almost zero sympathy, and I lost some close friends and came close to losing others in the process. So it sucked that I went through that it was awful, but I was dragging other people down into my deep dark hole and my behavior inconvenienced them. It was ultimately ME who had to make a choice between ostracism and getting a handle on my rage. Now I am at a point where I snap at people on occasion, and get angry in internet debates, but I’m not violent anymore. So I can have sympathy for fat people, but I have no pity. So it’s a very good thing they don’t want any. I don’t hold any ill will to fat people but there are a lot more fat people in this country than there are in most other countries, and mostly I think the reason is because people drive everywhere. There are fewer fat people in New York where everyone walks than there are anywhere else in the country. So maybe if they got off their fat asses and walked instead of driving whenever possible, then they’d weigh less. I don’t understand why people are getting on **Bubastis** case for writing a post about how someone else’s self-destructive addiction inconvenienced him. > [@](#): > > I would never dream that fat people want your “pity.” I would think that like other people, most of them just want to be treated like everyone else. The problem is they ARE being treated like everyone else. Everyone else requires only a single seat at the theater. The majority of fat people are fat out of some deep insecurity, so it’s a tough row to hoe because people only ostracize you more, but at the same time we oftentimes realize our own worst fears. We behave in ways that bring about that which we are afraid of. So you’re welcome to be fat, but if your gluttony impacts me in a way I deem negative, I reserve my right to take the nuclear option and bitch about you on a message board. Everyone has their own personal problems, but in the end it’s that person’s problems to get them under control. I took mine and went into a lifetime of personal exploration, because, well, what the hell do I have that’s better to do with my time? Seek and ye shall find. My advice, go into the emotional trauma that you don’t want to face. It’s worth it, it is SO worth it in the end. It’s better than a state sponsored drug addiction that treats the symptom. It goes right to the root cause. Mind you I don’t hate fat people. When there isn’t a thread about Fat people on this message board I largely don’t even think about the issue of fat people other than the occasional, “I could lose some weight.” I’m 28 years old, and I realized that I want to be in shape and stay in shape by the time I hit 30. I’m doing Yoga now, and I am looking into a Kung Fu class to join. I want to be healthy, I want to not be like my Father who is pushing 300 in his 50s. I want to still have the energy to dance when I’m 50, or go rock climbing or skiing or whatever. It’s a choice one makes. I think that this woman should have made sure she got an aisle seat and the extra seat so as not to inconvenience her friends in the first place, and then she wouldn’t have inconvenienced anyone. It’s her addiction, not Bubastis’, no matter what mitigating factors might go into it. We live in a country where all kinds of gluttony is tolerated and even defended as a right. That’s ridiculous. I don’t think there should be a law against being fat, but I don’t think it should be socially acceptable to be so fat that you take up three seats. That means you are eating for 5, every single day. It’s the same thing as Hummer drivers who think it’s their right to drive cars that get 7 MPG, meanwhile we are fighting a war over that oil. Gluttony is the big American sin, we’re all guilty of it, we are all overfed in our own ways. So I AM treating fat people like everyone else, in saying that gluttony and greed are disgusting traits. I wouldn’t have singled out fat people if there wasn’t a thread about it. Erek ---
**Author:** ![uglybeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/82dd89/32.png) [@uglybeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uglybeech)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/152 "2006-01-17T06:32:14Z")
That’s a really sad story, mswas. I’m sorry to hear it. But, to clarify, you’re argument is that you get to give fat people a hard time because you stopped beating your wife? ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/153 "2006-01-17T06:51:23Z")
**mswas** , can you think of any other addiction where you would be expected to sample just a little bit of your poison three times a day and still control the addiction? That is one of the main differences in the way the brain relates to compulsive eating. (Or is it the food itself?) Is stopping seizures a matter of will power? Why does this same medication affect seizures, mood disorders and compulsive eating – all of them apparently triggered involuntarily in the brain. For some people it is a choice. For others it’s not. For still others, losing the weight is a choice, but maintaining the weight loss is not. I am trying to **unearth some of your entrenched Western biases,** as you put it in another thread. **mswas** , I was also physically and emotionally abused as a child. I spent a good portion of my life living with internal rage. I hurt for what you went through and I know what that does to a person. How good for you that you have stopped acting out your violence. Don’t give up on dealing with the anger and rage that you _feel_. It sounds like you’ve found some really healthy ways of dealing with physical and emotional stress. FTR, With surgery and the medication, I have maintained a 150 pound weight loss for eight years now. I need to exercise more for my general health. Peace ---
**Author:** ![bubastis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bubastis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubastis)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/154 "2006-01-17T08:51:23Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > I_do_ think that it’s interesting to note that it was the large woman who moved away from **bubastis.** I wonder what message she was trying to send. We werew quite far from the aisle.Then the lady got up at intermission to go get more snacks, and when she returned she saw the hassle it was to get back through all the people whpo had resumed their seats. She called as uch to her friends, and thus took a seat on the stairs in the aisle. > [@Zoe](#): > > One doesn’t intend to be mean and rag on people that they have sympathy for. That is contradictory. True. As I wrote my OP, I realised slurs and insults had no place in it- I wasnt ragging on the obese. I waas simply enquiring, If you were Overweight, in a situation like mine, who would you inconvienience: your friend, or a total stranger? I didnt mean this to be a big debate on weight issues. > [@Zoe](#): > > It didn’t offend you to be annoyed? Neat trick. If a dog barks and keeps you awake at night, its annoying. It doesnt mean you are offended by dogs. > [@Zoe](#): > > Another expression of your sympathy? No, thats a Simpsons joke that I thought of at the time, which made me smile. Its about the only offensive part of the OP, I think. > [@Zoe](#): > > Now, tell me why it was that she moved before you had a chance to? And was the _only_ vacant seat in the entire theater on the other side of her? Since it was, in your own words, a full house, how did she know that it was okay to leave a seat vacant between her and her friends and occupy one that might have been sold? What happened to the people who were sitting on the aisle at the beginning? OK, pay attention: This was a sold-out show. We were lucky to get tickets for it ourselves. Theatres dont just keep selling tickets, piling people into the aisles. In the immediate vicinity, there were NO MORE SEATS.We couldnt just get up and go elsewhere. She didnt leave her seat, she just didnt bother to return after going to get more snacks. She knew there was a vacant seat between her and her freind, because she FUCKING BOUGHT ONE. I can link to the layout of the theatre, and point all this out to you, if neccesary!! Christ on a jetski! ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/155 "2006-01-17T17:20:11Z")
> [@uglybeech](#): > > That’s a really sad story, mswas. I’m sorry to hear it. > > But, to clarify, you’re argument is that you get to give fat people a hard time because you stopped beating your wife? No, I am not giving them a hard time, I don’t give them a hard time. My argument is that it’s ok to vent frustration at being SAT ON by a fat woman who continues to eat Ice Cream, and that it’s not a mean thing to do to write a little rant on a message board. Erek ---
**Author:** ![UntouchedTakeaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d78d45/32.png) [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/156 "2006-01-17T17:36:20Z")
Former very large person here. Currently 5’10" & 186 - I was 5’10" & 334. I have absolutely no problem with the following: (A) being annoyed that someone is encroaching in your space (B) feeling encroached upon re: (A) © requesting to be moved to another seat (D) requiring airline passengers that take up more than one seat to purchase an additional seat. I _DO_ have a problem with the following: (A) the snide, cruel fucking _nasty_ way people refer to fat people. “Fatties”. “Fucking pigs”. “Lardasses”. Wow - nice. How sad it is for us that our perceived “short comings” (heh - I made a funny - fat people aren’t shorted - THEY’RE FUCKING DISGUSTING PIGS!) happen to be visible to the general populace. Is it _really_ necessary to denigrate further people who probably do a damned spiffy job of that themselves? Unbelieveable - really. A pedophile who has never been caught/charged/convicted - off the hook re: insults because HE’S NOT FUCKING FAT! Please - making fun of fat people is the last bastion of the brainless and uneducated. It requires absolutely no intellect, articulation or effort. Stick to the issue being discussed. VCNJ~ ---
**Author:** ![UntouchedTakeaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d78d45/32.png) [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/157 "2006-01-17T17:41:42Z")
Sorry - I realize this is The Pit & this type of stuff is probably tolerated and encouraged. I guess you can see how it can affect someone who has lived through it. Please delete the post if it’s warranted. I’ll refrain in the future - I think it’s safer for me to stick to fashion topics 😃 VCNJ~ ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/158 "2006-01-17T18:02:02Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > For some people it is a choice. I think this is the point that gets missed so often in these threads. Usually the people who are accused of ragging on the obese are actually ragging those who choose to eat too much, choose to drive 1/8 of a mile instead of walking, choose to never get any kind of exercise except going outside to get the mail. Most of these people might discover that they wouldn’t want to eat so much processed sugar and lard if they were to start exercising and making their body run more efficiently. They might discover that they’d feel better and that they’d naturally start craving healthier foods if they would get their metabolism running right. Everyone (except the willfully ignorant) are perfectly aware that there are people with glandular or other health problems that may cause their weight to go out of control. Nobody is ragging on them, and it would behoove everyone involved if you (the general “you”) would stop accusing everyone who dares mention exercise in a thread like this of being fattie-bashers. ---
**Author:** ![liberty3701](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@liberty3701](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liberty3701)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/159 "2006-01-17T18:24:08Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > I think this is the point that gets missed so often in these threads. Usually the people who are accused of ragging on the obese are actually ragging those who choose to eat too much, choose to drive 1/8 of a mile instead of walking, choose to never get any kind of exercise except going outside to get the mail. > > \ > > Everyone (except the willfully ignorant) are perfectly aware that there are people with glandular or other health problems that may cause their weight to go out of control. Nobody is ragging on them, \ Well, I’m sorry, when people call me names or rag on me for being fat, they don’t ask if I choose to be fat before they make a cruel joke. No, they just call me a whale. On this board people may add the whole “I’m not talking about people with thyroid problems,” but in real life it doesn’t matter. You’re fat, so you can be shit on. Doesn’t matter why you’re fat, you’re still fair game. People assume the woman in the OP was slobbering ice cream all over the place, and assume she does this every night. For all we know, this might have been a special night where she “allowed” herself a treat. On other days, she may eat only celery sticks and drink Crystal Lite. The point it, we don’t know, and you can never know just by looking at a person what kind of lifestyle they lead. All y’all need to go out and read [_The Obesity Myth_](http://obesitymyth.com/). Because I am incomprehesible on this issue, and I appologize. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873/160 "2006-01-17T18:26:46Z")
**liberty3701** So why are Americans more likely to be fat than other industrialized nations? Erek [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obese-woman-ruins-theatre/339873.md?page=9)