# Objective proof that my wife yells? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 4, 2019, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265 "2019-10-04T16:01:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2019, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/61 "2019-10-06T08:31:39Z")
If your kids start referring to you as “ISAMU!!” because they’ve learned that’s how to say your name then you’ve got a case, but don’t expect to win this battle. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2019, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/62 "2019-10-06T09:12:34Z")
> [@Saintly\_Loser](#): > > That sounds like if she’s yelling, it must be his fault. He just needs to be more calm and respectul. > > I bet she’d agree 100%. 😃 No, but if she’s communicating in a way he doesn’t understand, or if she believes he’d not paying attention, clarity is better achieved by telling her what did he understand than by whatever it is he’s doing now. I tend to be a loud talker (grew up in a place where those volumes are normal, spend a lot of time public-speaking without a microphone); when I’m really angry I go low. Many people think that since I’m not SCREAMING, I can’t be angry. The same volumes mean different things for different people. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2019, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/63 "2019-10-06T11:32:29Z")
> [@The\_Sheikh](#): > > My wife yells all the time; at the kids, at me, and at house objects. Whenever I complain, she denies my claims and I have to go through a worse experience: fact-free argument. I need a device with an alarm that would go off when ever the voice goes over a certain level. What sort of thing does she saw when she “yells at house objects”? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2019, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/64 "2019-10-06T15:31:54Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > What sort of thing does she saw when she “yells at house objects”? My gf loses her temper on inanimate objects all the time. The other day our toaster-oven was a “motherfucking shiteater” because the rack was difficult to adjust. She once carried her old clock radio (that was a pain in the ass to set) down to the basement where she let out a roar and dashed it to the ground. I heard the scream and smash, later found bits of plastic on the basement floor, and noticed the clock radio debris in the garbage. The only reason it bothers me is that I then have to reassure our “sensitive” dog (if she’s in earshot) that she’s a good girl so she’ll stop trembling. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2019, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/65 "2019-10-06T15:51:48Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > My gf loses her temper on inanimate objects all the time. The other day our toaster-oven was a “motherfucking shiteater” because the rack was difficult to adjust. She once carried her old clock radio (that was a pain in the ass to set) down to the basement where she let out a roar and dashed it to the ground. I heard the scream and smash, later found bits of plastic on the basement floor, and noticed the clock radio debris in the garbage. > > The only reason it bothers me is that I then have to reassure our “sensitive” dog (if she’s in earshot) that she’s a good girl so she’ll stop trembling. But I’m curious what the OP’s wife yells at objects. Since she apparently doesn’t think she is yelling. I bet your girlfriend was aware that she was yelling at the toaster oven, and would agree with you if you commented on it. ---
**Author:** ![Fiveroptic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiveroptic/32/8257_2.png) [@Fiveroptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveroptic)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/66 "2019-10-07T02:46:28Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > **JohnClay**! You bastard! Welcome back! 🙂 That’s is! I couldn’t quite put my finger on it until now but he reminds me of JC, too. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/67 "2019-10-07T14:40:20Z")
My husband yells a lot too. Mostly at dogs, because we have a lot of dogs underfoot, but also at people and inanimate objects. Whenever we spend more than a few minutes out in the barn, the noise of the roosters gets on his nerves and he starts screaming. It’s very stressful to me, but it’s not going to change. He has a lot of good qualities also, so I choose to overlook this (though I think rude and nasty thoughts at times). ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/68 "2019-10-07T15:37:53Z")
My wife doesn’t yell, but she says I have two faults. I don’t listen and… I forget what the other thing was. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/69 "2019-10-07T17:00:24Z")
The only time my ex yelled was when he was doing repairs, and then he was pretty much guaranteed to yell. It seemed like a defensive move, to me. Like: “this isn’t working the way I expected it to, but that doesn’t mean I’m incompetent, it means that the X is being outrageously unreasonable.” ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/70 "2019-10-07T18:27:39Z")
Is being right worth a divorce? \< Cue If/Then Diagram \> ---
**Author:** ![Steven\_Maven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steven_maven/32/3272_2.png) [@Steven\_Maven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steven_Maven)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/71 "2019-10-07T21:19:57Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > buy some device that measures decibels (I don’t know where to buy it any more than you.) There are multiple smart phone apps for a decibel meter with a variety of features, from simple to complex. Many of them are free. ---
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/72 "2019-10-07T21:39:37Z")
I could (sorta) recommend a 4th option. I went swimming in a Lake in Texas, and had a grand old time. Moonshine, the whole works. We partied till dawn. 14 hours later, I have a horrible ear infection. Go to the doc, doc sends me same day to the ENT. ENT wants 800 bucks up front, which I don’t have. Ear infection runs its course in a few weeks. Now I am deaf for the most part in that ear. When someone screams or yells at me now, they sound like a Transformer singing karaoke with AutoTune applied randomly, played through a fax machine. Its amazing. So I get a legit reason to glaze over when the wife starts yelling about whatever. She senses this, and takes down the volume a bit. Works for me. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2019, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/73 "2019-10-08T13:58:36Z")
This is an interesting thread to me. It makes me want to know what everyone’s definition of “yelling” is. 🙂 i.e. can you yell quietly? (imagine telling kids to sit still or be quite in church or a movie theater) I’m loud. Or as I’ve been told my entire life… my voice ‘carries’. If I were speak emphatically to a family member, they would likely ask why I was yelling at them! On the other hand, every time I make an intentional effort to talk quietly, i WILL get asked if everything is OK, or why am I sad! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Rucksinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/898d66/32.png) [@Rucksinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rucksinator)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2019, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/74 "2019-10-09T04:53:14Z")
In case nobody has mentioned it yet, you can download a sound meter app for your phone. The one I downloaded a while ago is called Sound Meter. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2019, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/75 "2019-10-09T04:59:37Z")
> [@Translucent\_Daydream](#): > > I could (sorta) recommend a 4th option. > > I went swimming in a Lake in Texas, and had a grand old time. Moonshine, the whole works. We partied till dawn. > > 14 hours later, I have a horrible ear infection. Go to the doc, doc sends me same day to the ENT. ENT wants 800 bucks up front, which I don’t have. > > Ear infection runs its course in a few weeks. Now I am deaf for the most part in that ear. When someone screams or yells at me now, they sound like a Transformer singing karaoke with AutoTune applied randomly, played through a fax machine. Its amazing. > > So I get a legit reason to glaze over when the wife starts yelling about whatever. She senses this, and takes down the volume a bit. > Works for me. I’m sorry. That’s pretty funny. Again I’m sorry for laughing. It’s perfect. I may steal it. You just never know someone may yell at me tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2020, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/76 "2020-01-05T23:05:20Z")
Just a quick bump to add - crazy glue [The Neutral Record Talking Button](https://www.amazon.com/Neutral-Record-Talking-Button-Black/dp/B073S3BKN6) to a wall in every room in your house, and BAM any time she yells, hit it, and play it back for her input and how she really feels. Beats headphones are also an effective (and sharp looking!) coping aid. ---
**Author:** ![lingyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d2c977/32.png) [@lingyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lingyi)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2020, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/77 "2020-01-06T05:15:38Z")
> [@simster](#): > > is it yelling or is it raised voice? perhaps she needs her hearing checked? > > yelling == “what the hell are you doing now, I told you once,…”, where raised voice is 'normal conversation" only louder. > > My brother in law was always “yelling”, then he got a new hearing aid. +1 Not to say this is the reason, but I’m partially deaf in my right ear and if you’re on my right I tend to speak louder you you to the point they’ll say “You don’t have to yell!”. Something about a muffled, softer sound subconsciously triggers a louder response. I’ve asked people who speak loudly if they’re partially deaf like me and when they answer yes, I remind them that they don’t need to speak so loudly and they can tone it down. Of course I make sure I’m speaking to them with left ear canted towards them. 😃 As for yelling at things, it could also be tied to hearing loss which is frustrating and your wife is taking it out on inanimate objects. ---
**Author:** ![lingyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d2c977/32.png) [@lingyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lingyi)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2020, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/78 "2020-01-06T05:23:15Z")
Definitely agree on counseling her possibly only perceived yelling may be caused by something your or kids do to trigger it. Also, regardless of how old your kids are, they’re never reliable gauge of or witness to something that bothers you. No child want’s to be caught between Mom and Dad. You: “Was Mom yelling at you?” Kid: “Yes” Mom: “Was I yelling at Dad?” Kid: “No.” ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2020, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/79 "2020-01-06T13:17:01Z")
OP never returned. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2020, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265/80 "2020-01-06T13:23:33Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > OP never returned. Murdered by wife. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/objective-proof-that-my-wife-yells/841265.md?page=5)