# OBL Shooter's Line **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 5, 2011, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843 "2011-05-05T15:29:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/41 "2011-05-05T18:56:43Z")
“Just remember; no one ever said it was 72\* female\* virgins” “Mazel tov” “I regret I can only kill you one time for my country” ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/42 "2011-05-05T19:01:15Z")
“I bet I know what’ll be going through your mind in the next few seconds…” ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/43 "2011-05-05T19:36:12Z")
I was going to go with “eye for an eye”, but I thought of a better biblical quote: "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee. " I am course imagining the SEAL in question is Colonel Samuel L Jackson. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/44 "2011-05-05T19:36:21Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > “By the way, I’m gay. And Muslim. And female.” > [@John\_Mace](#): > > So you’re saying killing ObL was part of the “gay agenda”? 🙂 I always knew there was a gay mafia. and I got nothin. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/45 "2011-05-05T20:00:22Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > So you’re saying killing ObL was part of the “gay agenda”? 🙂 I think I just figured out how to win total public support for gay marriage, gay adoption, gay parade marches, and everything in between… ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/46 "2011-05-05T20:22:29Z")
Start spreading the news, you’re dying today. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/47 "2011-05-05T20:26:36Z")
> [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](#): > > To borrow from Peter Griffin, “I’ll have what she’s having.” Bam! “Road House!” ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/48 "2011-05-05T20:49:28Z")
“Found you! You’re IT!” BLAM! ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/49 "2011-05-05T20:50:09Z")
I can’t top what’s been suggested for the up-front, but after the deed, how about when the shooter radioed back to the Situation Room: “That’s two small shots for a man, and one sigh of relief for Mankind” ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/50 "2011-05-05T20:55:50Z")
Some good suggestions on what to say to Osama. But if I’d gone in there, I would have also brought a machete and impaled one of his henchman, just so I could quip, “Stick around.” ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/51 "2011-05-05T21:05:58Z")
“I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire six shots or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?” Of course, it’s highly unlikely that the SEAL was actually using a .44 magnum, but still. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/52 "2011-05-05T21:14:54Z")
\<1970S SNL\>“Candygram!” “Landshark!”\" ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/53 "2011-05-05T21:16:04Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > “Shalom, motherfucker!” I must agree with my associate Mr. Marley. ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/54 "2011-05-05T21:16:49Z")
“I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire six shots or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a M4 carbine assault rifle with a 30 round clip, the question is kinda moot don’t you think? Die fucker!” ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/55 "2011-05-05T22:55:08Z")
jk1245: > [@](#): > > “Just remember; no one ever said it was 72 female virgins” At the risk of sounding like a wet blanket on a cute joke, the Hebrew word for “virgin” is gender-specific, and I’d be willing to bet that the Arabic word for it is similarly so. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/56 "2011-05-05T23:00:55Z")
“BLAM!BLAM!” Freeze. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/57 "2011-05-05T23:04:20Z")
“Mission… accomplished.” ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/58 "2011-05-05T23:16:56Z")
SEAL: Come out with your hands up! Osama: I’ll never be taken alive… you’ll have to kill me first. SEAL: OK. But it’s going to hurt when I do. I liked the Big Nose comment. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/59 "2011-05-05T23:26:35Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > “I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire six shots or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?” > Of course, it’s highly unlikely that the SEAL was actually using a .44 magnum, but still. I was thinking of: "You feeling lucky, punk? You shouldn’t. "BLAM BLAM. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843/60 "2011-05-05T23:47:16Z")
Borrowing from RoboCop: “Osama bin Laden! You’re coming with me. Dead or alive, but you’re coming with me.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obl-shooters-line/580843.md?page=4)