# Obnoxious new telemarketing technique
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [April 8, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203 "2003-04-08T00:58:25Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/1 "2003-04-08T00:58:25Z")
My phone rang and when I picked it up, there was an instant click, like someone was waiting with a finger on the button to hang up. It was so fast that there was not even a pause like you might hear before a misdialer realized your voice was not familiar and hangs up.
It seemed exceptionally rude. I wondered if maybe a clerk at the video store was having fun with the fact that I recently rented “The Ring,” so I checked the caller I.D. and it was, surprisingly, an 800 number.
Out of curiousity, I dialed it. It’s free, right? And a recorded, male voice answered. It said, quite openly, that I was probably calling back because of their number on my caller I.D. and they were calling on behalf of several “charities.”
Man, this pissed me off. They don’t just give you the pitch – their strategy is to hang up on you. That is genuinely annoying And if you call back, that probably confirms your existence in the same manner as being asked to be deleted from junk-email lists.
I can’t think of obscenities sufficient to express my feelings about telemarketers.
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### Author:  [@Road\_Rash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Road_Rash)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/2 "2003-04-08T01:12:59Z")
I have received those as well. If you are not at home, if I guess correctly, you then get a recorded message. When I am listening to my messages on call notes, I know before the message starts that it is a recorded message, because there is a long pause (3 to 4 seconds) before the speaking starts.
When I have been at home on workdays, I pick up the phone and get the same thing you do.
I could be wrong, I do not return those calls.
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### Author:  [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/3 "2003-04-08T01:16:53Z")
Alternate, speculative theory: It might not be a new technique, perhaps just an equipment error. If it is a new technique, I’m not sure how it would be a productive one, since it would require that the person who was called have caller ID AND that they call the number back, something that’s not too dependable.
What it reminds me of is something that happens every once in a while with my college’s Alumni Annoyance System. (aka the program they make us Annual Giving phone monkeys use) The program grabs and dials the next number in whatever pool the logged in user (say, me) is assigned to and dials it. It can recognize what a ringing phone sounds like, and the fourth time it hears a ring, it hangs up, logs a no answer, and moves on to the next number in the pool. If it doesn’t hear any more rings after a certain length of time, it assumes someone’s picked up the phone and won’t move on on its own.
However, sometimes someone will pick up after the third ring, but it’ll think there hasn’t been an answer and move on ANYWAY because it is STUPID. Occasionally, we’ve called people who have seen our number on the caller ID and called us back, resulting in some extremely weird things happening. I can see an organization setting up a voicemail to answer callbacks like this, it’d be really convenient.
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### Author:  [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/4 "2003-04-08T02:59:36Z")
A lot of these organizations use predictive dialers - computers that dial, say 20 numbers for every 10 people waiting for a contact, so less time is wasted on wading through no answers and disconnected numbers. The flip side is sometimes someone picks up their call, but they don’t have any people free to start the pitch, so you get hung up on. That’s probably what happened to you.
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### Author:  [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/5 "2003-04-08T03:07:58Z")
Interesting… I’ve been getting a large number of hang-ups, lately, with the “instant click.” I don’t have caller ID. I’ve been wondering what’s going on.
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by elfbabe \*
> **If it is a new technique, I’m not sure how it would be a productive one, since it would require that the person who was called have caller ID AND that they call the number back, something that’s not too dependable.**
Telemarketing in general has a low hit rate, but the costs are low enough to make it worthwhile. This method would produce an even lower hit rate, but would be much cheaper to run. I can’t say I fully understand the economics of telemarketing–but this might be a worthwhile technique.
But it’s damned annoying. Even more annoying than regular telemarketing. It’s bad enough that they disturb me with an unsolicited call. It’s even worse if they do so without even giving me the courtesy of someone on the other end of the line. (I never thought I’d think that having a telemarketer call me was more courteous than something!)
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### Author:  [@japatlgt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/japatlgt)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/6 "2003-04-08T03:15:16Z")
I’m not fond of the “bug me when I don’t want any of your shit anyhow” approach to business either but I can say that since I’ve gone on the Do Not Call List the odd calls have vanished. POOF!!
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### Author:  [@d\_redguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d_redguy)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/7 "2003-04-08T03:18:20Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Green Bean \*
> \*\*But it’s damned annoying. Even more annoying than regular telemarketing. It’s bad enough that they disturb me with an unsolicited call. It’s even worse if they do so without even giving me the courtesy of someone on the other end of the line. (I never thought I’d think that having a telemarketer call me was more courteous than something!) \*\*
Agreed. The worst part is that one doesn’t even have the opportunity to say the magic words loud and clear:
“Please put me on your do not call list.”
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### Author:  [@Phax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phax)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/8 "2003-04-08T03:55:31Z")
I agree with all of the above. I’d also like to strangle whoever actually buys stuff from telemarketers. If no one buys anything, they’d go away! (Yeh, I know, I’m in a dreamworld).
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### Author:  [@Nanoda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanoda)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/9 "2003-04-08T05:55:14Z")
It won’t help you with charities, but if you’re in the States, watch [this page](http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/edcams/donotcall/index.html)
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### Author:  [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/10 "2003-04-08T06:05:38Z")
Woohoo! Someone post me a reminder in July!
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### Author:  [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/11 "2003-04-08T06:23:23Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Smeghead \*
> \*\*A lot of these organizations use predictive dialers - computers that dial, say 20 numbers for every 10 people waiting for a contact, so less time is wasted on wading through no answers and disconnected numbers. The flip side is sometimes someone picks up their call, but they don’t have any people free to start the pitch, so you get hung up on. That’s probably what happened to you. \*\*
That makes sense, **Smeghead.**
Though it still seems odd that they had their recorded greeting set up to acknowledge that I called back because of caller ID. That made me think the entire process was set up as a deliberate hangup.
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### Author:  [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/12 "2003-04-08T06:37:59Z")
Well, you’re not the first to be hung up on, and you’re probably not the first to call back. This way they can try and convert a few of those lost calls. Just a WAG, naturally.
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### Author:  [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/13 "2003-04-08T07:26:38Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Green Bean \*
> \*\*But it’s damned annoying. Even more annoying than regular telemarketing. It’s bad enough that they disturb me with an unsolicited call. It’s even worse if they do so without even giving me the courtesy of someone on the other end of the line. (I never thought I’d think that having a telemarketer call me was more courteous than something!) \*\*
As a telemarketer, I strive to be less irritating than a recorded message. So, on behalf of telemarketers everywhere, let me say … er, thanks? I think?
😛
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### Author:  [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/14 "2003-04-08T09:28:30Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Satisfying Andy Licious \*
> … I can’t think of obscenities sufficient to express my feelings about telemarketers.
Relax, this is the pit. Let it flow. You’ll think of something, I’m sure.
Try combining questionable ancestry with scatological references in addition to practices involving bestiality. I’m positive you can come up with some string of expletives worthy of the occasion.
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### Author:  [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/15 "2003-04-08T15:25:46Z")
But I digress…
For a long time I was getting several calls a day (caller ID listing them and I picked a few up) with a recording saying, “We have been trying to reach you with an important message, please call 1-888-GOAT-FELCHER”.
I just blew it off for a while, then called the number to get off the list. I was getting about a dozen of these calls a day. I got somebody and told them to take me off their list. They said I couldn’t get off the list until I settled my Capitol One Visa bill. I explained that I didn’t have a Capitol One Visa, and the name they had didn’t live at my number.
As for garden variety telemarketers…
When I pick up the phone and say “Hello” if I don’t get a reply in about 1 second I hang up.
If I get a replay asking for “Mr. Duke”, you might get 2 seconds while I figure out if I know you or you know me. Then if know me = no, I hang up.
If they ask for “Mr. or Mrs. Duke” they get hung up on right there. There is no Mrs. Duke.
If by some bizzare twist of fate they last longer than 2 seconds, all they get is, “Take me off your list”.
I used to tell them what I thought about it using words a bit more descriptive than Goat Felching Bastards, but realized they are just people trying to make a living…don’t shoot the messenger.
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### Author:  [@sciguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciguy)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/16 "2003-04-08T15:41:02Z")
In addition to the “dialed but no marketer available” situation, I’ve heard that these immediate hangups are the auto-dialer either testing whether the number is good, or “polling” for when you are at home answering the phone. One [cite](http://www.singerelectronics.com/addvan.html) from the spawn of Satan itself (aka an autodialer manufacturer). It’s item number 6 under “why you should buy from us”.
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### Author:  [@Margo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Margo)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/17 "2003-04-08T16:11:40Z")
Just yesterday my phone rang and they asked for me by name, but I knew it wasn’t someone that knew me because they butchered both my first and last name (very easy to pronounce if you know _anything_ about phonetics). So she proceeds to give her spiel, “Bellsouth is offering YOU (I feel SO special) this wonderful offer because you are a loyal (no choice in the matter) Bellsouth customer…we will waive the activation fee of 19.95…blah blah blah…this new service will allow you to block all telemarketers and unsolicited calls…” at this point I interrupt and ask “you mean, calls like this one?” And then being the mature adult that I am…I hung up on her. When someone calls at night (8pm) when I am putting my kids to bed…I don’t have much patience…
Margo
(I know I am supposed to use obscure profanity when in the pit but my son is in the room and he can spell…)
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### Author:  [@Ego\_Mk2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ego_Mk2)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/18 "2003-04-08T17:24:05Z")
My normal responses to telemarketers:
1. hangup sound? I hang up.
2. nothing then background chatter? I hang up.
3. Is Mr. or Mrs. X there? I hang up. There’s no Mrs. X
4. Is Mr. X there? He’s not here right now. They usually hang up. Maybe another q or two first like “When can I reach him?” or “Are you able to switch phone service?” of course the answers are “usually now” and no, respectively.
Of course sometimes I just let the answering machine pick up too. I’m getting pretty tired of the 7:59PM calls.
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### Author:  [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/19 "2003-04-08T19:12:23Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Satisfying Andy Licious \*
> \*\*
> Man, this pissed me off. They don’t just give you the pitch – their strategy is to hang up on you. That is genuinely annoying And if you call back, that probably confirms your existence in the same manner as being asked to be deleted from junk-email lists.
> I can’t think of obscenities sufficient to express my feelings about telemarketers. \*\*
THings like this are the reason I pretty much just never answer my phone anymore. In the long run, you just can’t win. Besides, how often does anhyone actually _ **need** _ to reach you, anyway?
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### Author:  [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)
#### Post date: [April 8, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-new-telemarketing-technique/167203/20 "2003-04-08T19:13:47Z")
I should add to that above post that i just let my machine get it.
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