# Obnoxious things to teach a 3 year old \[NEED ANSWER FAST\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 11, 2012, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-things-to-teach-a-3-year-old-need-answer-fast/624855 "2012-06-11T21:06:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2013, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-things-to-teach-a-3-year-old-need-answer-fast/624855/81 "2013-04-03T03:00:22Z")
What does the cow say? _Moo._ What does the sheep say? _Baaa!_ What does the pig say? _Oink! Oink!_ What does the horse say? _Neigh._ What does the moose say? Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat! ---
**Author:** ![Ms.Pumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a87d85/32.png) [@Ms.Pumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms.Pumpkin)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2013, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-things-to-teach-a-3-year-old-need-answer-fast/624855/82 "2013-04-03T03:13:14Z")
“Hi.” -“Hi.” “What do you want to do?” -“What do you want to do?” “Are you copying me?” -“Are you copying me?” “Stop that!” -“Stop that!” “I mean it!” -“I mean it!” etc. etc. ---
**Author:** ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2013, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-things-to-teach-a-3-year-old-need-answer-fast/624855/83 "2013-04-03T03:38:07Z")
Teach the answer to “What do we say” as “NOW.” ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2013, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-things-to-teach-a-3-year-old-need-answer-fast/624855/84 "2013-04-03T05:19:56Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > What does the cow say? _Moo._ > What does the sheep say? _Baaa!_ > What does the pig say? _Oink! Oink!_ > What does the horse say? _Neigh._ > What does the moose say? Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat! But that trick _never_ works! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2013, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-things-to-teach-a-3-year-old-need-answer-fast/624855/85 "2013-04-03T05:21:21Z")
What does the Moose say? “D-uh.” ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2013, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-things-to-teach-a-3-year-old-need-answer-fast/624855/86 "2013-04-03T10:09:57Z")
Teach them that ‘It’s all part of my plan for world domination’ is the correct response whenever their custodial parent expresses frustration with them. Bonus points if grandparents are present. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2013, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-things-to-teach-a-3-year-old-need-answer-fast/624855/87 "2013-04-03T10:24:59Z")
One of the traditional gifts to a child is a toy drum or trumpet. Nowadays, of course, they have those little electronic thingies, which I imagine would be even more annoying, at least until some parent takes out the batteries. Also, I hear that the combination of glitter and preschoolers can result in an absolutely fabulous neighborhood. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2013, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-things-to-teach-a-3-year-old-need-answer-fast/624855/88 "2013-04-03T19:07:05Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > What does the cow say? _Moo._ > What does the sheep say? _Baaa!_ > What does the pig say? _Oink! Oink!_ > What does the horse say? _Neigh._ > What does the moose say? Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat! My brother in law always ended this with: “What does Keanu say?” “Whoa.” Hearing my 3-year-old niece do Keanu’s “whoa” is priceless. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-things-to-teach-a-3-year-old-need-answer-fast/624855/89 "2013-04-04T03:31:58Z")
I taught my four year old niece to suck her finger quickly, put it on her hip, and say “sssss.” It annoyed the hell out of my sister in law. Luckily she forgot it ten minutes later. The kid. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Duality](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.duality/32/4098_2.png) [@Mr.Duality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Duality)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-things-to-teach-a-3-year-old-need-answer-fast/624855/90 "2013-04-04T04:00:39Z")
Push the (belly) button. It’s a variation on “pull my finger”, in which a fart is the result. ---
**Author:** ![Srsly\_Dad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@Srsly\_Dad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Srsly_Dad)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-things-to-teach-a-3-year-old-need-answer-fast/624855/91 "2013-04-04T16:58:03Z")
If she can get the Rodney look close (slight surprise and disdain) the “Hff - looks good on you though.” line can be pretty annoying. _Caddyshack_ for those of you who don’t know. Rodney Dangerfield sees a hat in the proshop and starts ranting “That’s the ugliest hat I ever saw, what ya get a free bowl of soup when you buy it…” He turns to see Ted Knight wearing the exact same hat ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-things-to-teach-a-3-year-old-need-answer-fast/624855/92 "2013-04-04T20:06:29Z")
What does the clock say? Tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-things-to-teach-a-3-year-old-need-answer-fast/624855/93 "2013-04-05T02:09:07Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > _Ebrio quid faciamus nauta > Ebrio quid faciamus nauta > Ebrio quid faciamus nauta > Hora matutina?_ _O op! et supra surgit O op! et supra surgit O op! et supra surgit Hora matutina._ ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-things-to-teach-a-3-year-old-need-answer-fast/624855/94 "2013-04-05T02:20:47Z")
Okay. You got 3 kids visiting from far away for Easter Weekend. Threeish, Fiveish, and Sevenish. You’ve given them all a cool/fragile rock/crystal to take home. Now, you are packing up all their stuff and you make sure they get said rock. Now this rock is fragile and special to you and hopefully to them. You’ve worked in the DOD biz and know when you need to be carefull handling certain things. Now, remember, kids this age will can hear something ONCE and you almost can’t get them to forget it or not repeat it. So, as you are helping them pack and they ask again what is special about that rock and how they should treat it you should NEVER say the words “high explosive”:smack: They made it through the airport and home so I suppose they forgot thank OG. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-things-to-teach-a-3-year-old-need-answer-fast/624855/95 "2013-04-05T06:11:52Z")
🙂 Also, “Don’t mention the War.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obnoxious-things-to-teach-a-3-year-old-need-answer-fast/624855.md?page=4)