# Obsceneta Claus **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 21, 2010, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986 "2010-12-21T18:53:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/1 "2010-12-21T18:53:29Z")
No, not parody / comedy images of Santa doing Mrs. Claus or banging the cute elves or whatever. Mainstream images stuck up all over, in businesses’ windows, on tasteless neighbors’ apartment doors. I don’t care for any of those cardboard cutouts (turkeys and pilgrims for Thanksgiving, hearts and cupids for Valentine’s, ghosts and witches for halloween, etc); … and I don’t have very good associations with Santa Claus (“oh the guy the adults LIED to me about when I was a tiny kid” / “along with clowns and underpaid guys wearing overstuffed fuzzy animal costumes, something I’m SUPPOSED to like 'cuz I’m a kid, crreeeepy”). So it’s no huge surprise that those cardboard cutouts of Santa Claus would not appeal to me. But damn, when did they start depicting the old fraud as… oh hell. [**People’s Exhibit #1**](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWIeXfhV5oI) (four examples; didn’t have to look hard to find 'em either) a) he’s smirking b) his lips and tongue are marachino-cherry red. Fire engine red. Fuck-me lipstick red. c) the reason I know what color his tongue is is that he’s STICKING IT OUT at me. d) he’s either got really really shiny lip balm on or he’s just finished licking his lips. guess that’s why he’s sticking his tongue out By all means tell me if you think there’s something wrong with how I perceive things, that these images look like innocently festive holiday symbolks to you. But IS IT, is it just me, or is this seriously dis-fucking-'sgusting? I think I’d be less disturbed if they just went ahead and portrayed Santa with his shirt hoisted up to show his nipples and his schlong hanging out over the top of his trousers. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/2 "2010-12-21T18:57:04Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > By all means tell me if you think there’s something wrong with how I perceive things, that these images look like innocently festive holiday symbolks to you. But IS IT, is it just me, or is this seriously dis-fucking-'sgusting? Alright, if you insist, I think you’re a moron. All these cutouts look just like the ones my mom had when I was a little kid… 20 years ago. So basically, you waited at least twenty years to whine that sometimes when people draw Santa they draw him with big lips. BOO-FUCKING-HOO ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/3 "2010-12-21T19:05:43Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > …But IS IT, is it just me, or is this seriously dis-fucking-'sgusting?.. It’s just you. Not that there’s anything wrong with being aroused by Santa’s fat, red lips. That I know of anyway. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/4 "2010-12-21T19:06:57Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > By all means tell me if you think there’s something wrong with how I perceive things, that these images look like innocently festive holiday symbolks to you. But IS IT, is it just me, or is this seriously dis-fucking-'sgusting? I don’t mean to be rude but, right now, the words “get a life” are in my head. Maybe you should talk about your Santa problem with your therapist? It seems like you still have a lot of unresolved issues. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/5 "2010-12-21T19:11:39Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > By all means tell me if you think there’s something wrong with how I perceive things There’s something wrong with how you perceive things. Also, you seem to have some weird reactions to Santa pictures. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/6 "2010-12-21T19:19:12Z")
I spent 45 seconds watching a benign video of Santa smiling. I must need a life too. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/7 "2010-12-21T19:22:07Z")
Santa’s hot, wet, _red_ lips? I’ll be in my bunk … 😃 [Don’t even get _started_ on “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”!] ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/8 "2010-12-21T19:25:51Z")
I don’t see it either. I was waiting for the Santa to say or do something creepy in the video but nothing happened. This OP isn’t a parody itself, is it? ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/9 "2010-12-21T19:52:23Z")
**AHunter3** finally meets Santa[face to face](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOm64YHDDik). ---
**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/10 "2010-12-21T19:53:37Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > I think I’d be less disturbed if they just went ahead and portrayed Santa with his shirt hoisted up to show his nipples and his schlong hanging out over the top of his trousers. Seriously? Santa’s lips being too red is worse than this? ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/11 "2010-12-21T20:01:31Z")
Wel, that’s why I asked 😃 I think it’s the tongue thing. Why the fuck is he portrayed sticking his tongue out? When did that start? Has it always been that way and I just noticed? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/12 "2010-12-21T20:02:55Z")
It only looks like his tongue is out in the third one you showed. In the others I just figured that was his lips. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/13 "2010-12-21T20:03:08Z")
_“His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.”_ You can’t really make a fair comparison to a bow if you can’t see the lips. And being stuck in all that facial hair makes _that_ a challenge. The artists are just working within the limits that Mr. Moore (or whoever) set for them. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/14 "2010-12-21T21:01:19Z")
Yeeeeaaaah. I think that’s just you, dude. Those look like pretty standard old-fashioned-y Santas to me. I have to admit, though, the tongue thing is a little weird. I’d never noticed it before, either. He can’t just have an open-mouthed smile like a normal person? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/15 "2010-12-22T03:51:49Z")
So what DID Santa do to you when you sat in his lap? ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/16 "2010-12-22T09:21:32Z")
I think his tongue is sticking out because you caught him mid-Ho. ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/17 "2010-12-22T11:35:26Z")
I thought it was going to be a conversatyion about [this](http://www.partyexplosion.co.uk/Thumbnails/051-128SantaBoytn.jpg) picture - a bit small, but you might be able to make out the hilariously inappropriate double meaning. Unless my friends and I are far more deviant than we thought. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/18 "2010-12-22T16:21:39Z")
It’s clear that the OP suffers from Claustrophobia. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/19 "2010-12-22T16:23:14Z")
> [@Double\_Foolscap](#): > > I thought it was going to be a conversatyion about [this](http://www.partyexplosion.co.uk/Thumbnails/051-128SantaBoytn.jpg) picture - a bit small, but you might be able to make out the hilariously inappropriate double meaning. > > Unless my friends and I are far more deviant than we thought. Oh, so wrong. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986/20 "2010-12-22T17:20:28Z")
Well, Santa Claus is pretty obscene when you think about it. … He wants to come down your chimney… … and stuff your stocking… … he’s got a reindeer named Vixen… … ew [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsceneta-claus/564986.md?page=2)