# Obsolete jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2006, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087 "2006-08-10T01:14:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/1 "2006-08-10T01:14:09Z")
Why are hurricanes named after women? Because if they were named after men they’d be called _him_icanes. ---
**Author:** ![KlondikeGeoff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@KlondikeGeoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KlondikeGeoff)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/2 "2006-08-10T01:18:42Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > Why are hurricanes named after women? > Because if they were named after men they’d be called _him_icanes. Oh, man, “obsolete” ain’t the word for that one! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![A.R.Cane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@A.R.Cane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.R.Cane)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/3 "2006-08-10T01:21:28Z")
Why is it that only women get his-terical and have his-torectomys? You do realize that we’re likely to catch hell for this? ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/4 "2006-08-10T01:21:44Z")
Is anyone old enough to remember Woman Driver jokes? I remember that they existed, but don’t remember any specifics. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/5 "2006-08-10T01:37:43Z")
There used to be a joke going around like this: Q. Why is Nixon such a terrible poker player? A. Because he can’t stand Pat! This led to what may be history’s second metajoke (after “why _didn’t_ the chicken cross the road?”): Nixon comes into a cabinet meeting laughing hysterically. Agnew says, “What’s so funny?” Nixon says, “The’re telling a joke about me…hee hee get this now…Why am I such a terrible poker player?.._Because I always take more cards!_ Hahahaha…” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/6 "2006-08-10T02:33:53Z")
I think Prime Minister Begin is deaf. He can’t hear m’knockin’! ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/7 "2006-08-10T02:37:01Z")
Got Prince Albert in a tin? Better let him out, or he’ll suffocate! ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/8 "2006-08-10T03:06:01Z")
Have you heard about the new German microwave oven? It seats six. (From an old 80s “Gross Jokes” book, when political correctness meant having your facts straight on the campaign trail) ---
**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/9 "2006-08-10T04:02:51Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Is anyone old enough to remember Woman Driver jokes? I remember that they existed, but don’t remember any specifics. Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Because she was a woman. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/10 "2006-08-10T04:09:24Z")
> [@Mirror Image egamI rorriM](#): > > Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Because she was a woman. That is not obsolete at all. It cracked me up and I bet if I go around telling it tomorrow, other people will think it is hilarious as well. Come to think of it, we can send some clean joke e-maiils at work… I can at that one to my other: “How do you decide the best time to buy your wife a nice watch?” You don’t. There’s a clock right there on the stove. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/11 "2006-08-10T04:21:27Z")
I thought **Johnny** was asking for jokes that depend on technology or conventions that no longer exist. Hence the “himicaines” joke being obsolete, because 50% of hurricanes are now named after men. From my dad’s 193-something joke book: “I saw something last night I’ll never get over…The moon!” (Yes, I know no one’s actually jumped over the moon yet, but people have **been** to the moon, so, obsolete.) ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/12 "2006-08-10T04:36:09Z")
What’s black and white and Jewish and has two eyes? Sammy Davis, Jr. and Moishe Dyan. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/13 "2006-08-10T04:39:49Z")
> [@Mindfield](#): > > Have you heard about the new German microwave oven? > > It seats six. > > (From an old 80s “Gross Jokes” book, when political correctness meant having your facts straight on the campaign trail) I don’t get this. Is this a Holocaust joke? Like the Helen Keller joke, those don’t really age (Who’s the most famous Jewish baker? Hitler!) ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/14 "2006-08-10T05:58:02Z")
This is more a riddle than a joke. I don’t know when I first heard it, but it was obsolete even then. Little Jonny gets injured and is rushed to the ER. The doctor takes one look at him and says, “I can’t operate on this patient - he’s my son.” But the doctor is not Jonny’s father. Who is it? The answer, of course, is that it is his mother. Apparantly, this was once a trick answer, since who could imagine a woman as a doctor? ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/15 "2006-08-10T06:04:21Z")
Growing up in rural Michigan with a lot of people with Polish surnames, I heard “Pollack jokes” _all the time_. I haven’t heard a single one since I moved away years and years ago. Does anyone still tell Pollack jokes, or have they become obsolete? ---
**Author:** ![Baine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Baine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baine)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/16 "2006-08-10T07:05:41Z")
Q: Why was John Elway worried? A: He heard the police were looking for a slow, white Bronco. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/17 "2006-08-10T08:08:02Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I can at that one to my other: “How do you decide the best time to buy your wife a nice watch?” > > You don’t. There’s a clock right there on the stove. Why did the woman cross the street? Fuck that! Why is she out of the kitchen? ---
**Author:** ![BrattiAtti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c57346/32.png) [@BrattiAtti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrattiAtti)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/18 "2006-08-10T08:31:31Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Why did the woman cross the street? > > Fuck that! Why is she out of the kitchen? I learned it with this added: And where the fuck did she get the shoes? ---
**Author:** ![A.R.Cane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@A.R.Cane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.R.Cane)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/19 "2006-08-10T10:46:08Z")
> [@freckafree](#): > > What’s black and white and Jewish and has two eyes? > > Sammy Davis, Jr. and Moishe Dyan. Bad 60’s joke: What’s all black and comes in an all white box? Sammy Davis, jr. (He was married to May Britt, a very pale skinned, white woman w/, at the time, platinum blonde hair) ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/20 "2006-08-10T11:06:00Z")
From the Simpsons, where Homer’s in NYC trying to figure out how to get the boot off his car: They put all the jerks in Tower 2! Back in the late 60s/early 70s, _Laugh-In_ used to poke fun of the idea of Ronald Reagan ever being President. Did you ever hear the theory about women drivers? No one’s lived to tell it yet. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087.md?page=2)