# Obsolete jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2006, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087 "2006-08-10T01:14:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/21 "2006-08-10T11:08:56Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] I don’t get this. Is this a Holocaust joke? Like the Helen Keller joke, those don’t really age (Who’s the most famous Jewish baker? Hitler!) [/QUOTE] Well, Hitler jokes don’t age, but the one I posted was more for the sake of an obsolete prejudice against Germans in general rather than Hitler specifically – he’s always been a seminal target. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/22 "2006-08-10T11:16:21Z")
From a recently discovered [Victorian joke book](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2006/08/08/njoke08.xml): > [@](#): > > Are you married? I can see that you are. There is a serenity in every feature, while a single man has a face as long as a fiddle. Cracks me up every time. They didn’t always go down that well though. Apparently, when Queen Victoria was told the following: > [@](#): > > Question: What’s the difference between Joan of Arc and a canoe? > > Answer: One is Maid of Orleans and the other is made of wood. she is reputed to have said when told this, “OMFG we are not ROTFLOAO”. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/23 "2006-08-10T11:21:10Z")
How do you get the Jackson Five in a mini? Two in the front, two in the back, and Michael in the ashtray. (Substitute “Indians” for “the Jackson Five” for use with Indira Gandhi if required.) ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/24 "2006-08-10T11:24:13Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] Well, Hitler jokes don’t age, but the one I posted was more for the sake of an obsolete prejudice against Germans in general rather than Hitler specifically – he’s always been a seminal target. [/QUOTE] He would be quite fetching in a pearl necklace. ---
**Author:** ![manx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@manx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manx)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/25 "2006-08-10T11:43:19Z")
This was popular when I was a kid: What will it take to reunite The Beatles? Another three bullets! ---
**Author:** ![theunfounddoor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@theunfounddoor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theunfounddoor)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/26 "2006-08-10T12:14:54Z")
[QUOTE=trublmakr] Growing up in rural Michigan with a lot of people with Polish surnames, I heard “Pollack jokes” _all the time_. I haven’t heard a single one since I moved away years and years ago. Does anyone still tell Pollack jokes, or have they become obsolete? [/QUOTE] I live in Wi where there are a lot of Polish names also. I haven’t heard any in a long time, this is the only one I can think of right now. What did the Polish mother and Mexican father name thier child? Retardo ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/27 "2006-08-10T12:17:41Z")
[QUOTE=Rilchiam] I thought **Johnny** was asking for jokes that depend on technology or conventions that no longer exist. Hence the “himicaines” joke being obsolete, because 50% of hurricanes are now named after men. [/QUOTE] Yes, that was my intention. (I was even going to post the reason the hurricane joke was obsolete, but I changed my mind.) ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/28 "2006-08-10T12:30:12Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] There used to be a joke going around like this: Q. Why is Nixon such a terrible poker player? A. Because he can’t stand Pat! [/QUOTE] Nixon was actually quite a good poker player and in fact financed his first Congressional race with poker winnings. So not only is the joke obsolete the setup is faulty. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/29 "2006-08-10T12:47:32Z")
[QUOTE=freckafree] What’s black and white and Jewish and has two eyes? Sammy Davis, Jr. and Moishe Dyan. [/QUOTE] I’m giggling like a madwoman here. ---
**Author:** ![Rock\_n\_Roach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Rock\_n\_Roach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rock_n_Roach)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/30 "2006-08-10T13:34:27Z")
Back when Gary Hart was running for the democratic presidential bid… Who did Donna Rice want for president? In her heart she wanted Bush, but in her bush she wanted Hart ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/31 "2006-08-10T13:36:07Z")
[QUOTE=Otto] Nixon was actually quite a good poker player and in fact financed his first Congressional race with poker winnings. So not only is the joke obsolete the setup is faulty. [/QUOTE] A naughtier joke, then, with a similar punch line: Nixon attended a screening of _Deep Throat_…afterwards, he wanted to try it himself, but he couldn’t get it down Pat. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/32 "2006-08-10T13:54:11Z")
[QUOTE=BlackKnight] This is more a riddle than a joke. I don’t know when I first heard it, but it was obsolete even then. Little Jonny gets injured and is rushed to the ER. The doctor takes one look at him and says, “I can’t operate on this patient - he’s my son.” But the doctor is not Jonny’s father. Who is it? The answer, of course, is that it is his mother. Apparantly, this was once a trick answer, since who could imagine a woman as a doctor? [/QUOTE] Even in the 21st century, it still reels in its victims - including women. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/33 "2006-08-10T14:21:17Z")
Another that was funny some 36 years ago: A guy falls off a ladder in 1959, hits his head, and goes into a coma for ten years. When he wakes up in 1969, the first thing he sees out the window is the flagpole in front of the hospital. He asks a nurse why the flag is at half mast, and she replies, “Oh, that’s because Eisenhower has died.” The guy bolts upright in bed and exclaims, “What!!! You mean that bastard _Nixon_ is president?” ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/34 "2006-08-10T14:36:20Z")
My fave: Q: What’s the difference between OJ and Christopher Reeve? A: OJ’s gonna walk! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Why\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@The\_Why\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Why_Bird)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/35 "2006-08-10T15:02:47Z")
[QUOTE=fishbicycle] Got Prince Albert in a tin? Better let him out, or he’ll suffocate! [/QUOTE] please will someone explain this to me? I’ve heard it several times before but I don’t get it… Obviously I understand that if Prince Albert was in a tin he would suffocate but… is this the name of a product or something? I feel like I’m missing a double meaning here. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/36 "2006-08-10T15:07:22Z")
[QUOTE=The Why Bird] please will someone explain this to me? I’ve heard it several times before but I don’t get it… Obviously I understand that if Prince Albert was in a tin he would suffocate but… is this the name of a product or something? I feel like I’m missing a double meaning here. [/QUOTE] I was going to google up a picture of the tin. Lesson learned. Never google “Prince Albert.” So here’s its [Wiki](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_Albert_in_a_Can) instead. ---
**Author:** ![KlondikeGeoff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@KlondikeGeoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KlondikeGeoff)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/37 "2006-08-10T15:59:16Z")
[QUOTE=trublmakr] Growing up in rural Michigan with a lot of people with Polish surnames, I heard “Pollack jokes” _all the time_. I haven’t heard a single one since I moved away years and years ago. Does anyone still tell Pollack jokes, or have they become obsolete? [/QUOTE] Been a long time since I’ve heard one. Some of them were really hilarious, but in repeating them, for the sake of PC (long before it was invented), I’d substitute “Ethnic.” As in, How many Ethnics does it take to change a light bulb? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/38 "2006-08-10T16:09:13Z")
[QUOTE=Otto] Nixon was actually quite a good poker player and in fact financed his first Congressional race with poker winnings. So not only is the joke obsolete the setup is faulty. [/QUOTE] “The setup is faulty” usually means “the joke’s _internal structure_ is faulty.” The gag doesn’t actually _depend_ on Nixon’s real-life poker acumen (although I’m still slightly tempted to “Cite?” you on that). You’re still pissed because I said _The Wizard of Oz_ was a metaphor for 1930s escapism, aren’t you? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![davmilasav](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@davmilasav](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davmilasav)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/39 "2006-08-10T16:20:18Z")
The punchline I heard for the hurricane joke is “Because if they were named for men they’d never make it past the Virgin Islands.” How about Q: “What are 3 forms of communication that begin with ‘T’?” A: Telephone, Telegram, Tell a woman I guess the middle one has to be Television now. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/40 "2006-08-10T16:26:18Z")
[QUOTE=davmilasav] Q: “What are 3 forms of communication that begin with ‘T’?” A: Telephone, Telegram, Tell a woman [/QUOTE] Hey, I actually repeated that joke no more than a year ago in an otherwise all-female office. AND came away unscathed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087.md?page=3)