# Obsolete jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2006, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087 "2006-08-10T01:14:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/121 "2009-07-29T07:42:25Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > My fave: > > Q: What’s the difference between OJ and Christopher Reeve? > A: OJ’s gonna walk! Or A: Christopher Reeve got the electric chair. Q: What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve? A: Christopher Walken. ---
**Author:** ![Skylark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Skylark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skylark)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/122 "2009-07-29T08:19:22Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe) was a white-run black African country, very near South Africa in both senses of the word. They suffered from the unreasonable fear that if the black indegenes were allowed to run the country, it would disintegrate into a mass of corruption, crime and a busted economy. And now Zimbabwe is… well, surely you know. But Rhodesia was super tho, wadn’t it? > [@racer72](#): > > I had to look. Who would want to do that? I have known a lot of guys who’ve done it. We had a weird football team in high school. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/123 "2009-07-29T08:33:24Z")
> [@Skylark](#): > > But Rhodesia was super tho, wadn’t it? [Yes.](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_NgXrMnZHoL4/Rh5dFq2GkxI/AAAAAAAAAFY/AgcV8plk3gU/s400/100_0449.JPG) ---
**Author:** ![Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harvey_The_Heavy)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/124 "2009-07-29T10:29:00Z")
What’s white and comes in brownies? Roman Polanski ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/125 "2009-07-29T10:55:48Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > How do you get the Jackson Five in a mini? > > Two in the front, two in the back, and Michael in the ashtray. > (Substitute “Indians” for “the Jackson Five” for use with Indira Gandhi if required.) > [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > I’m not sure why this was obsolete back in '06, but it’s certainly become topical now. :eek: Undoubtedly the joke is about when Michael Jackson’s hair caught fire and he got burned while shooting a Pepsi commercial in 1984. What was topical in 1984 isn’t necessarily going to be so 22 years later. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/126 "2009-07-29T10:57:25Z")
> [@Skylark](#): > > But Rhodesia was super tho, wadn’t it? _shrug_ I’ll let someone else plead for Rhodesia - I don’t know enough about the place to argue about it intelligently for five minutes. But the look of Zim these days suggests that, whatever the problem, the solution may just have been the wrong one. /hijack ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/127 "2009-07-29T11:09:10Z")
I’ve already done enough pleading for Rhodesia in other threads; this isn’t the forum to debate about it, but I will say that I do think Rhodesia was super, and I think the displaced Rhodesian whites (those who weren’t murdered, anyway) should be richly compensated both in money and in land. In fact, I think they should get their own independent white Rhodesian state in Southern Africa where they can live and run their farms in peace without fear of being ransacked, raped and murdered by rampaging criminals. I think they were the victims of a war crime and I think the rest of the world ought to be ashamed for turning their backs on them. Anyway, that joke is completely obsolete now because unfortunately nobody knows what Rhodesia was. In 15 years it will be even more so. Actually, **Malacandra** , if there is a Rhodesian expatriate organization in England, I would like to arrange a meeting with them while I am there in March because I am trying to put together the makings of a historical project on the topic. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/128 "2009-07-29T11:36:47Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve? > Christopher Walkin [Nope, still funny](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/newreply.php?do=newreply&noquote=1&p=11388910). ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/129 "2009-07-29T14:41:35Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Growing up in rural Michigan with a lot of people with Polish surnames, I heard “Pollack jokes” _all the time_. I haven’t heard a single one since I moved away years and years ago. Does anyone still tell Pollack jokes, or have they become obsolete? At least there are still lots of jokes about getting Scrod. [Seriously, is “Pollack Jokes” some kind of Gaudere’s law variant?] ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/130 "2009-07-29T15:20:37Z")
How do you know who a woman will vote for? Lift her skirt and see if she’s hairy or dewy. (“Harry” or “Dewey”) ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/131 "2009-07-29T19:55:33Z")
> [@Mindfield](#): > > I was going to google up a picture of the tin. > > Lesson learned. > > Never google “Prince Albert.” > > So here’s its [Wiki](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_Albert_in_a_Can) instead. After googling “Prince Albert,” all I have to say is: HOLY SNAPPING ASSHOLES BATMAN!!! I gotta start getting out more. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/132 "2009-07-29T20:35:22Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > The version I’ve heard is the Jewish man was riding the elevator everyday with someone who thought he was scared of elevators and Catholic. But it turns out the Jewish man was just forgetful, so whenever he got on the elevator he checked to make sure he had his spectacles, testicals, wallet and watch (joke-teller’s hand moves to gesture to head, tummy, then side to side.) > Obsolete because who wears watches anymore? Time’s on your cell phone! I heard it as a priest and a rabbi. I think the rabbi was checking for his glasses, his wallet, his pen, and that his fly was zipped. > [@cochrane](#): > > Undoubtedly the joke is about when Michael Jackson’s hair caught fire and he got burned while shooting a Pepsi commercial in 1984. What was topical in 1984 isn’t necessarily going to be so 22 years later. Whoosh. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/133 "2009-07-29T21:00:04Z")
Actually, no whoosh. I didn’t know about MJ getting burned until I saw **cochrane** ’s post. Thanks to him I now understand why this was an obsolete joke in 06. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/134 "2009-07-29T21:29:59Z")
> [@sneezy5660](#): > > Antoine was a weatherman in the NYC area. He told a similar joke – “If rape is inevitable, lie back and enjoy it” – immediately after a news story about a 5 year old girl being raped and was fired. Well it’s better that way anyway. She’s much too young to have a job.😛 and I always heard it this way: Did you know Princess Di had a dandruff problem? Yeah, they found her Head & Shoulders in the glove box. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/135 "2009-07-29T21:34:20Z")
Princess Di was on the radio. On the radio, on the steering wheel, on the dashboard… ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/136 "2009-07-29T22:06:07Z")
What was the first thing to go through Princess Di’s mind during the car crash? The steering wheel. That one doesn’t get old, you just have to change the names. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/137 "2009-07-29T22:08:53Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > That one doesn’t get old, you just have to change the names. That’s exactly what I did on the night Princess Di died. I just inserted her name for Princes Grace’s. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/138 "2009-07-29T22:27:23Z")
> [@sneezy5660](#): > > Did you know that the first girl killed in **Jaws** had dandruff? Yup, they found her Head and Shoulders on the beach.😃 The way I heard this joke, it went like this… Q: How did the police know that Jeffrey Dahmer had dandruff? A: They found Head & Shoulders in the shower! 'Nother Dahmer joke… Q: Why did Jeffrey Dahmer keep his victims’ testicles in the refrigerator? A: Because “Sometimes you feel like a nut…sometimes you don’t!” To say nothing of John Wayne Gacy jokes… Q: Why did John Wayne Gacy keep the heat on all year long? A: Because it was 33 below in the basement. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/139 "2009-07-29T22:35:11Z")
Jeffrey Dahmer to Lorena Bobbitt: “You gonna eat that?” ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/140 "2009-07-29T22:53:22Z")
Jeffrey Dahmer got out on bail, but it cost him an arm and a leg. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087.md?page=8)