# Obsolete jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2006, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087 "2006-08-10T01:14:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/141 "2009-07-30T00:50:48Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > It’s a prank call, and besides he told it wrong. See, what you do is, you call the drugstore, you ask, “Pardon me, do you have Prince Albert in a can?” When the clerk says “Yes,” you say,“Great, I’ll be right down there to buy some!” And then you DON’T GO! 😛😛😛 Funnier response IMHO, when the clerk says they have it, you say they better let him out, the Queen wants to see him. I heard this the day after the Challenger blew up. Did you hear they found part of the black astronaut on the beach? Turned out to be an old radiator hose. I’m going to hell for that one. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/142 "2009-07-30T01:17:33Z")
Hey, if someone wanted to compare my penis with a radiator hose, I’d be flattered. ---
**Author:** ![imfloating](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bc79bd/32.png) [@imfloating](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imfloating)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/143 "2009-07-30T03:01:13Z")
The young boy asks his Rabbi for Fifty dollars. The Rabbi says Forty dollars…what do you need Thirty dollars for. ---
**Author:** ![Sebastienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Sebastienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sebastienne)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/144 "2009-07-30T03:06:59Z")
I may be very wrong, but I don’t think the “in the ashtray” joke is a reference to the Pepsi hair burning incident. The joke refers to the Jackson 5, and at the time of the Jackson 5, Micheal was a small child-- small for his age, in fact, and passed off as younger, often referred to as “little Micheal”, etc. I think the gag is just that he was a little, little dude compared to his brothers. And yeesh, y’all are a bunch of sheltered folk if a mere PA is that mindblowing to yous. 😉 Don’t google subincinsion! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/145 "2009-07-30T03:28:22Z")
I disagree. I first heard the MJ/ashtray joke after MJ’s head caught on fire. That was funny. Making fun of him being a child isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Sebastienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Sebastienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sebastienne)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/146 "2009-07-30T04:35:35Z")
I agree, that interpretation lacks any real oomph due to lack of cruelty. But the Jackson 5 was past history by the time he caught fire. The anachronistic reference in a now-outdated joke is what’s throwing me; if it was “how do you fit Madonna, Tina Turner, Prince, Boy George, and Michael Jackson in a four seater”, then it’d make sense and be funny. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/147 "2009-07-30T14:59:28Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > Obsolete because who wears watches anymore? Time’s on your cell phone! I wear a watch. My choir teacher in high school pulled out his cell phone to check the time. My brother in law’s brother just doesn’t have the time. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/148 "2009-07-30T15:19:43Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Q. What do you get when you stick a finger in the president’s ear? > A. Johnson’s Wax. > > (Funny as hell in 1965). Yep, as was the story of the terrible disaster at the LBJ ranch. Someone left the gate open and all the cows went home… ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/149 "2009-07-30T21:07:18Z")
This one’s only been obsolete for 3 years. The bird watchers say, you have to take the twitter with the tweet. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/150 "2009-07-30T21:08:32Z")
What’s black and white and red all over? It sure as hell ain’t a newspaper. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/151 "2009-07-31T01:28:28Z")
I thought the point of the Michael Jackson joke was that it is actually no longer obsolete. You know–dead–cremation–ashes in the ashtray? ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/152 "2009-07-31T01:41:16Z")
“Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?” Apparently Mrs. Lincoln had a husband named Abraham, who was famous at the time, who got shot during a play during the mid 1800s. I’m not sure of the specifics, I think they may have mentioned him in history class once or twice but I can’t recall. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/153 "2009-07-31T02:30:34Z")
> [@Sebastienne](#): > > I agree, that interpretation lacks any real oomph due to lack of cruelty. But the Jackson 5 was past history by the time he caught fire. The anachronistic reference in a now-outdated joke is what’s throwing me; if it was “how do you fit Madonna, Tina Turner, Prince, Boy George, and Michael Jackson in a four seater”, then it’d make sense and be funny. Well anyway it would make sense. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/154 "2009-07-31T02:36:10Z")
A guy walks into a bar and orders a cold one. As he opens it up he says to the bartender, “Hey, I heard a great new Aggie joke, wanta hear it?” The bartender leans in and says, “Hey, I’m an Aggie. That guy down there who’s 6’3’’ and weighs 300 pounds? He’s an Aggie football player! That guy over at the table? He’s the champ of the Aggie’s boxing team. Still wanta tell that joke?” “Well, no. Not if I’m going to have to tell it three times.” (Probably not obsolete.) The “Guess who just quit smoking?” joke. Variously: David Koresh, Ted Bundy, etc. Will still work for those who die in a fire, but not for capital punishment, due to lethal injection. I guess there’s nothing funny about lethal injection. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/155 "2009-07-31T02:39:05Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > I heard it as a priest and a rabbi. I think the rabbi was checking for his glasses, his wallet, his pen, and that his fly was zipped. Hmmm. In the version I heard, this turned out to be the priest’s mnemonic device for remembering the order in which he made the sign of the cross before blessing stuff. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/156 "2009-07-31T14:27:29Z")
“When a Jew gets a boil, he doesn’t have an onion. When a Jew gets an onion, he doesn’t have a boil.” ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/157 "2009-07-31T14:33:45Z")
My favorite catagory of obsolete humor is Soviet Russia jokes. Is it just what I’ve come across, or do most Russian dissident jokes involve Jews? ---
**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/158 "2009-07-31T15:23:07Z")
I thought it was Richard Pryor who set his head on fire? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/159 "2009-07-31T16:24:59Z")
> [@Rocketeer](#): > > I thought it was Richard Pryor who set his head on fire? In 1980 Richard Pryor was burned over half of his body after he accidentally set himself on fire while freebasing cocaine while drinking 151-proof rum. In 1984 Michael Jackson’s hair was set afire by pyrotechnics during the filming of a Pepsi commercial, causing 2nd degree burns to his scalp. ---
**Author:** ![WotNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@WotNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WotNot)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087/160 "2009-07-31T18:16:54Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > How many Doctor Who fans does it take to change a lightbulb? > none - they just sit around wishing it would come back on. > > How many Star Trek fans does it take to change a light bulb? > One to change it, and two to argue about whether the new one is as good as the old. > > The first joke is obsolete because Doctor Who _has_ come back on. The second is obsolete because there are now more than two versions of Star Trek. But they were both funny back in the day. Y’know, if you just switch the punchlines, they’re topical again. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/obsolete-jokes/368087.md?page=7)