I’d like to own an orchard with a distillery making fruit brandy from fruits we’ve grown. I already own a distillery and I have friends that own orchards. This is totally my next career as long as I can sell my current distillery and get my share to be worth 20 mil after taxes.
I would actually be very good working in a preschool. I like little kids. They seem to like me and trust me for the most part. I am good with little ones all the way down to infants. Other than my own (and sometimes them) dealing with kids older than that is a pain in the ass. Unfortunately the way things are now many people look at men working with children with suspicion. And the pay is crap but the OP took care of that.
I think I’d make a good librarian, except I am not a reader. But I’d be really super good at the research part of it. I’m quite good at looking stuff up online and in books. I just can’t recommend you a good beach book for this summer.
I think I could be a good writer if I really had time and energy to focus on it.
A traveling food critic who gets to go wherever he wants.
That would be one of my choices, too. I was bored a lot in school (especially Jr High) and used to draw up house plans instead of listening to lectures. I ended up studying physics in college, but could easily have switched to architecture after undergrad school. In fact, one of my classmates and fellow physics majors did just that.
Or, winery owner/wine maker in the Santa Lucia Mountains (Monterey County). I’d make some killer Pinot and have a tasting room in Carmel.
I would love to apprentice in any of several fields that use physical skill in addition to brains, such as cabinetmaking or glassblowing.
I was a damned good brewer, if I do say so myself. I did that for 5 years and I know my recipes are good and how to satisfy the market. The money, however, was terrible.
So I’d go back to brewing. Maybe open my own micro.
I would love to work in a dog rescue group, like Villalobos. Alternatively, a vet tech. I’d like to be a verterinarian, but I don’t have the training.
Or a chef! 
Give psychology seminars. For adults. Or botany courses. Or do voice over work. Or give life advice, like a sophisticated agony aunt.
I’d like to be one of the people on the other end of a text answering service like “Any Question Answered”
It sounds great on the surface: a no-stress, no responsibility job with career job pay and benefits. However, without fighting the hypothetical, my answer is no thanks.
To paraphrase Groucho: There’s no real, in-demand job that I could become “truly qualified to do well in a short period of time” that I would want to do, especially not if I have to keep the same work hours.
Manual labor is out. Been there, done that, hated it.
The same goes for teaching.
Delivery work was great for the time and place, but just wouldn’t work with my current adult responsibilities and lifestyle.
Retail? I’d rather starve than deal with jackass shoppers again.
Lab work was mind-numbing.
In a short period of time I can be qualified to fetch things and sweep up pretty much anywhere, but why would I want to? Also, salesman. Ugh.
I would be a good nanny, telephone sales person, field archaeologist, minister, chef, tour guide.
But I know I would absolutely shine as a psychic and could make a lot of money if I didn’t have a conscience.
Breeder and trainer of search and rescue dogs.
I have a dream of developing my own breed for it.
I would be a novelist, or a game writer.
I already write novels for fun, and I already write for a game as a freelancer, but my (self-published) novels barely sell enough for a fast-food meal per month (I’m terrible at marketing, sadly) and there’s no way I could make anything close to the living I make as a software technical writer doing game writing. Even a big chunk of the folks who do it as a full-time job don’t make that much money and always seem to be having issues with things like health insurance.
I was a moderately well known FRP writer. Pay is crap. Work is hard.
i enjoyed being a security guard at certain positions. Pay is crap. Work is easy.
Being an elementary school teacher might be fun. My mother was one and she’s still around so I’d have someone to call for advice. In terms of formal qualifications, I have a BS and am partway through an MS and so could probably get a provisional license and switch over to an MEd program and make enough progress on that to keep my license.
Have you considered becoming an ale missionary? Bringing IPA to the heathens?
Seriously, the US market must be rammed for craft ale now - but there must be growth areas overseas. Places like Spain, France etc don’t really know anything about ale, and have areas where the climate is just right for supping it.
This! I’ve had a side career in event production, races, parades, etc. However, there’s no money unless you own the company & if you lose a sponsor, <POOF> - there goes your event.
Or a high-rise window washer. If I ever win the lottery, I’m going to do this job; great views!
What? I’m Spiderman, I like being outside of high buildings!