# Odd Euphemisms **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 9, 2021, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745 "2021-12-09T01:30:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2021, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/81 "2021-12-24T03:15:13Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > Hah, that’s funny, I didn’t know that idiom. There’s an equivalent expression in German: “mit Kurt und Jörg telefonieren”, “having a call with Kurt and Jörg”. I think the more common American expression is “praying to the porcelain god”. … My wife has another euphemism. She says “moment” for orgasm (as in, I just had a moment, so I need a minute). Except she uses it as a noun and a verb. You can moment, and you can get moment on the sheets. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2021, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/82 "2021-12-24T03:35:35Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > I think the more common American expression is “praying to the porcelain god”. The TV series “Bosom Buddies” had a scene where IIRC Henry referred to it as talking to “Ruuuuuuth” and “Raaaaaalph.” My contribution to the thread: an “indiscretion.” This always struck me as odd, compared to “cheating,” “adultery,” and so on. I have a theory about this, but I’ll sit back awhile and see what others might opine. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2021, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/83 "2021-12-24T03:59:20Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > You can moment, and you can get moment on the sheets. Ah, the dreaded “moment” on the sheets, and the age old question who has to sleep on it. ---
**Author:** ![Limmin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f04885/32.png) [@Limmin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Limmin)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2021, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/84 "2021-12-24T04:13:34Z")
> [@Pabitel](#): > > But my favorite, which I first heard on “Time Team” from host Tony Robinson, “popped his clogs”. > > So evocative. I think the Brits have a lot of great euphemisms for death. “Casters up,” “popped clogs,” etc. as you just reminded me. I was thinking of this scene from Terry Gilliam’s _Brazil_, toward the end… > ``` > SAM > Please, I've got to find Jill. > > HELPMANN > Sam, I think I ought to tell you... > I'm afraid she's upped stumps and > retired to the pavilion. > > Sam looks blank. > > Thrown in the towel. > > SAM > (takes a moment to work this out) > Dead? > > Helpmann nods. > > ``` (from [http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/brazil.html](http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/brazil.html) ) ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2021, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/85 "2021-12-24T19:25:44Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > There are more layers to this one than you realize, because “toilet” is, itself, a euphemism for that fixture. In fact, nearly all of the terms for both that fixture and the room in which it is found are euphemisms I once read that there is no actual quote-unquote “official” term for that fixture; a word that isn’t a euphemism (_toilet, commode, WC_), or a vulgarism (_shitter, bog, throne_). ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2021, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/86 "2021-12-24T20:50:27Z")
We use ‘vaccuming the goldfish’ in our house, but not as a cover-up. It’s used to describe those times when you were busy doing all those little chores around the house that need doing, but are not ‘big’ enough of themselves to warrant “I’m going to do X right now”. Things like - general tidying up, getting the washing off the line, unstacking the dishwasher, emptying the kitchen bin etc. (Usually the things that no other person in the house bothers to do - you know what I mean). “Why are you running late”? “Sorry - I was vacuuming the goldfish”. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2021, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/87 "2021-12-26T05:46:00Z")
To be specific, the definition was in YM, “The Right To Know”. In YPM, “The Grand Design”, Bernard asks Hacker “Isn’t conscription a courageous policy?”, and Hacker starts to panic. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2021, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/88 "2021-12-26T05:59:42Z")
I swear this is true: late 70s there was a big herpes outbreak. In reporting the outbreak, a modest newscaster coined the phrase (and I’ll never forget it) “inadvertent oral- genital contact”. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2021, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/89 "2021-12-26T07:42:59Z")
One for farting I’ve only recently seen “whispering a bum\* secret” \*in the UK sense. One I haven’t heard in the wild, but a supposedly upper-crust way of making sure guests don’t have to ask where the loo is\*: "Let me show you the geography of the house’ \*A euphemistic way of doing that is to ask “Where’s the… erm…?” with a suitably strained expression on your face. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2021, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/90 "2021-12-26T19:09:17Z")
> [@PatrickLondon](#): > > One for farting I’ve only recently seen “whispering a bum secret” The Doctor Who Red Nose Day short “The Curse of Fatal Death” introduced me to the phrase “bottom-burp”. You British, you do love your buttocks-based humor… ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2021, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/91 "2021-12-26T19:22:39Z")
You forgot my personal favorite “he’s pining for the Fjords”. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2021, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/92 "2021-12-26T19:40:20Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > “bottom-burp” I got that one from The Young Ones (the TV series, not the Cliff Richard movie). ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2021, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/93 "2021-12-26T23:46:02Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > I swear this is true: late 70s there was a big herpes outbreak. In reporting the outbreak, a modest newscaster coined the phrase (and I’ll never forget it) “inadvertent oral- genital contact”. When you wake up to find your cat is sleeping on your face. 😄 ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2021, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/94 "2021-12-28T18:45:57Z")
All the flying posts here and no “uncontrolled descent into hostile terrain”? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2021, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/95 "2021-12-28T19:05:49Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > The cute bears selling Charmin toilet paper from their home in the forest seem to be a coy reference to the old joke, “Does a bear shit in the woods?” > [@Riemann](#): > > That had never occurred to me, but I’m sure you’re right. Definitely. I posted a video of the very first Charmin Bear commercial [here.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charmin-bears/947111/15) > [@Moriarty](#): > > Urinating: taking a leak, draining the lizard I’ve used “go water the porcelain”. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2021, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/96 "2021-12-28T20:07:37Z")
Well, there’s [Controlled Flight Into Terrain](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Controlled_flight_into_terrain) (often abbreviated CFIT) ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2021, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/97 "2021-12-29T00:29:12Z")
I hope this isn’t one from earlier in the thread. Pubescent boys were being taught social graces, and were asked, “If you’re on a date at a restaurant, and you have to go to the rest room, what do you say?” One boy says, “Excuse me, I have to go pee.” Too coarse. Another says, “Excuse me, I have to go to the toilet.” Better, but not smooth enough. Third boy says, “Excuse me, I have to go shake hands with a dear friend, and I hope to introduce you to him later on.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2021, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/98 "2021-12-29T17:06:19Z")
Excuse me, I have to shake hands with the unemployed. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2021, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/99 "2021-12-29T17:44:02Z")
AFA farts go, if it’s particularly noxious I’ll say I blasphemed in my pants. If there’s a suspicion of moisture content, I’ll say I was spray painting the inside of my briefs. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2021, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745/100 "2021-12-30T00:48:23Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Excuse me, I have to shake hands with the unemployed. As I recall, George Carlin once offered “shaking hands with the unemployed” as a euphemism for masturbating. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-euphemisms/955745.md?page=6)