# Odd fortune cookie fortunes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 9, 2008, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666 "2008-04-09T21:12:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2008, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666/21 "2008-04-11T06:27:44Z")
A few years ago, my family (including a my aunt and her family and my (paternal) grandmother) were eating at a local Chinese place. Just as the fortune cookies are brought out, my grandmother starts coughing and choking on a bit of rice that went down the wrong pipe. She was in the restroom for several minutes and it sounded like she was coughing up a lung. During this time, my father opened his cookie. The fortune read “You will soon inherit a large sum of money.” ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2008, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666/22 "2008-04-11T07:54:11Z")
[QUOTE=jackdavinci] I was dating this guy many years ago and I thought it would be nice on our special picnic date if his fortune cookie said something romantic. So I bought an entire bag of fortune cookies, steamed them so they’d be malleable, took out all the fortunes, separated out all the romantic ones, put them back in cookies, resealed their individual plastic bags, and put them inside the bag of chinese takeout I got later. After dinner I grinned my biggest smile and offered him a fortune cookie. “Oh no thanks, I don’t like fortune cookies” says he. :smack: [/QUOTE] WOW, **jackdavinci**! – I thought\* I \*was a diehard romantic willing to go to extreme lengths but – **I bow before the Master.** ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2008, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666/23 "2008-04-11T08:04:31Z")
I grew up with [Kraig Kinser.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kraig_Kinser) One day at school (I think I was in 4th grade) we had Chinese food for lunch, with fortune cookies. It was a Montessori school so we did stuff like that. Kraig’s fortune said: “You will die early.” I will never forget that. It blew our little minds that a fortune would ever have that printed on it, but there it was, plain as day. ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2008, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666/24 "2008-04-11T08:10:34Z")
Dang, **Argent Towers**. Heavy. What did yours say? ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2008, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666/25 "2008-04-11T13:56:45Z")
[QUOTE=jackdavinci] I was dating this guy many years ago and I thought it would be nice on our special picnic date if his fortune cookie said something romantic. So I bought an entire bag of fortune cookies, steamed them so they’d be malleable, took out all the fortunes, separated out all the romantic ones, put them back in cookies, resealed their individual plastic bags, and put them inside the bag of chinese takeout I got later. After dinner I grinned my biggest smile and offered him a fortune cookie. “Oh no thanks, I don’t like fortune cookies” says he. :smack: [/QUOTE] Just as well. How good would a fortune cookie that’s been steamed open and resealed taste? ---
**Author:** ![Booker57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Booker57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Booker57)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2008, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666/26 "2008-04-11T14:14:40Z")
“Never smell the inside of a hat” Keep it in my wallet. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2008, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666/27 "2008-04-11T14:40:53Z")
I once got “Fortune not found. Abort, retry, fail?” ---
**Author:** ![cblackhand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecc23a/32.png) [@cblackhand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cblackhand)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2008, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666/28 "2008-04-11T15:56:38Z")
I got one several years ago that I still keep in my wallet. > [@](#): > > When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out - because that’s what’s inside. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2008, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666/29 "2008-04-11T17:18:36Z")
I got one that said > [@](#): > > It is easy to make things complicated. It is hard to make things simple. I’m a technical writer. Making complicated things simple is my _job_. I used to have that taped to my work monitor. I wonder where I put it the last time I switched jobs… ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2008, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666/30 "2008-04-11T17:32:51Z")
My wife, young daughter, and I went to the local Chinese Buffet for New Years Eve a couple of years ago. After dinner, I distributed the fortune cookies. My wife’s said:“You can expect an addition to your life.” As soon as we left the restaurant, I dropped by a pharmacy and bought a pack of pregnancy tests. My wife took one as soon as she got home and it was positive. Our baby daughter will have her second birthday in July. A few months ago, we went back to the same buffet. I was in the bathroom when the fortune cookies cam out but the girls were destroying them inside the packages when I got back. I said, “Do not destroy those fortune cookies. That is how we found out your mother was pregnant the last time.” It made perfect sense to me but a passing group of diners was almost doubled over in laughter. ---
**Author:** ![Thinks2Much](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Thinks2Much](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thinks2Much)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2008, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666/31 "2008-04-11T22:50:25Z")
We have played the “in bed” game, and I wish I could remember the exact wording of one that I got while out to lunch with co-workers. We laughed about it for months. It was something like “You will gain new exciting experiences if you are open to back door opportunities.” ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2008, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666/32 "2008-04-12T05:15:58Z")
The alternate phrase to add is “…with no pants on.” ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2008, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666/33 "2008-04-12T05:20:03Z")
[QUOTE=guizot] Just as well. How good would a fortune cookie that’s been steamed open and resealed taste? [/QUOTE] I ate quite a few when I got home 🙂 They tasted fine but were less crispy than normal. I actually preferred them them that way, but other would probably find it odd. But the idea was to go from fortune to kiss and skip the eating of the cookie… ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2008, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666/34 "2008-04-12T06:05:47Z")
It was couple days after the woman who was to be **DesertWife** and I became More Than Just Friends. We were still going at it pretty hot and heavy, making up for all the pent up desire we’d both had. She opened her fortune, laughed, and handed it to me. “You do a common thing uncommonly well” was what it said. I could only agree. It was stuck to our refrigerator for years afterward. ---
**Author:** ![slanted\_zipper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/977dab/32.png) [@slanted\_zipper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slanted_zipper)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2008, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666/35 "2008-04-12T06:18:34Z")
[QUOTE=Crocodiles And Boulevards] I got one that read: It was a little scary! [/QUOTE] You got Richard Pryor’s by mistake. ---
**Author:** ![pope\_hentai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@pope\_hentai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pope_hentai)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666/36 "2008-04-13T03:26:27Z")
ahh yes… the …in bed game… the greatest fortune ever, and a legend among my friends was one i got… the best love is self love… we didnt stop laughing for an hour. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666/37 "2008-04-13T09:26:09Z")
I once received: _Your face is your fortune. God help you._ ---
**Author:** ![VampyChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5daacb/32.png) [@VampyChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VampyChick)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666/38 "2008-04-13T09:37:59Z")
I once got: _Support industry. Buy more fortune cookies._ ---
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666/39 "2008-04-13T11:43:01Z")
[QUOTE=Lord Il Palazzo] “Never trouble trouble 'til trouble troubles you.” [/QUOTE] The Sphinx would be proud.(From Mystery Men) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-fortune-cookie-fortunes/444666.md?page=1)