# Odd houseguest behavior. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 27, 2005, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090 "2005-06-27T21:30:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jimmmy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/73ab20/32.png) [@jimmmy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimmmy)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2005, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/21 "2005-06-28T23:33:33Z")
When I was a kid my Mom’s friend stayed with us. My Mom took off valuable time from work that she didn’t really have to chauffer her pal around, including to two or three “family lunches” 1.5hr round trip to which my Mom wasn’t (really) invited. She shopped while it went on. For a week to 10 days my Mom wined and dined her - My mom basically broke her back and went all out for this lady - above and beyond. She didn’t expect anything for it at all. And yet when the lady, fairly well-heeled certainly uppermiddle class, perhaps some percentage of you would call her “rich” left - she left a short 2 sentence thank-you note and a ‘token’ for my mom : a Rubber stamper of Pogo – the cartoon character sort of like [these things](http://www.rubberstampchamp.com/StorefrontHome.asp?bhcp=1). No ink pad. My Mom didn’t have any particular affinity for Pogo nor was it a shared joke between friends. It was just a very odd thing to do. No gift would have been fine – my Mom wasn’t offended (I was – but partially I was just a greedy kid) but my Mom saw it as weird as hell - & over time I have come to appreciate it as eccentrically very odd as well. Ironically over the years it became a gift that gave a great deal of pleasure, maybe one of the best gifts ever: every Xmas, b-day and wedding we joke about giving/getting a Pogo stamp - we really got some laughs out of it. Thnx overlyverbose: I never would have guessed in a million years I would ever have a reason to tell this story, but there we are. ---
**Author:** ![HelloKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecccb3/32.png) [@HelloKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelloKitty)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/22 "2005-06-29T00:02:47Z")
> [@An Arky](#): > > OK, am I the only one driving myself crazy trying to find that houseguest wiping their butt on the towel thread? :o I remember reading that thread, too but I can’t find it either. It was hysterically funny…!!! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/23 "2005-06-29T00:04:02Z")
> [@Cherry2000](#): > > \Friends of my S.O. came and stayed with us…and somehow used an entire double roll of toilet paper and over half of another one in two days. 😕 > \ Particularly messy diarrhea, perhaps? There’s times when I think I use about a half a roll for one movement. Um, is that TMI? Do we need an expert judgement? **lieu**? ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/24 "2005-06-29T00:23:45Z")
> [@HelloKitty](#): > > I remember reading that thread, too but I can’t find it either. It was hysterically funny…!!! [Here it is!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=220523) ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/25 "2005-06-29T00:38:26Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > [Here it is!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=220523) Can’t…Stop…Reading… ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/26 "2005-06-29T04:32:44Z")
I once had a houseguest who helped look after my birds when I was sick. The trouble was that once I was well he fell asleep in the guest room. He slept and slept some more. He slept so much I would have thought he was dead (I was beginning to wonder about this) if he hadn’t gotten up occasionally to use the can. He was supposed to go visit his mother on Christmas, which was several days away, but it appeared he was planning to hibernate. Finally on Christmas I got a Ramones tape out, put it in the player, and turned it up full blast. By the time “Beat the Brat” came on he was awake and ready to go home to mommy. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/27 "2005-06-29T04:36:30Z")
Well… what _can_ you do with a brat like that? ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/28 "2005-06-29T05:59:32Z")
Hey, at least I didn’t chase him with a baseball bat. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/29 "2005-06-29T06:17:06Z")
Gabba, gabba, I accept that. The Ramones – helping us get rid of punk ass houseguests since 1974. ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/30 "2005-06-29T12:08:53Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > I searched for that thread about the woman who wiped her ass with a towel and then put it back in the stack of towels at her friends house. I thought I once posted this little tale but I can’t find it so maybe I didn’t, but anyway, it was similar to what Zebra “searched” for. We had family friends over for swimming; they brought their 10-ish year old son who was quite a handful. I didn’t like him very much so I hid over at my best friend’s house. Apparently the kid used our bathroom, and he wiped his ass with one of the towels slung over the sliding shower door. I guess the crap was not visible. My brother came home from work (later after the guests had left) and took a shower. He used the soiled towel to dry his hair!!! And of course he lost his mind when he say the shit. (I’m still chuckling as I type this). I was in my room when “the shit hit the fan”. I heard yelling and carrying-on downstairs. My mother called me and asked if I knew anything about the towel. I didn’t quite hear her right, and was too involved in a TV show to be bothered, so I just yelled back “yeah, I know”. My mother freaked out and my brother came upstairs looking for blood. He asked me if I was out of my mind to not do something about the towel and I realized I didn’t know what he was talking about. He filled me in and I just started laughing hysterically which pissed him off even more. We finally realized who the culprit was. To this day, you can wipe a smile off my brother’s face by bringing up that event. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/31 "2005-06-29T16:15:53Z")
> [@Cherry2000](#): > > Friends of my S.O. came and stayed with us…and somehow used an entire double roll of toilet paper and over half of another one in two days. Were they female? I use a _lot_ of toilet paper for about five days out of the month. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/32 "2005-06-30T02:09:12Z")
> [@BwanaBob](#): > > To this day, you can wipe a smile off my brother’s face by bringing up that event. With a clean towel, or soiled? ---
**Author:** ![furlibusea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@furlibusea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furlibusea)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/33 "2005-06-30T11:22:46Z")
> [@mraldjenn](#): > > When my husand and I got married, we weren’t able to afford a honeymoon, so we just decided to go to the creek and hang out until we had to return to work that Monday. Well my maid of honor and one of his groomsmen came with us for, we thought, just the day. Then they followed us home, and stayed the night, and the next and the next. For the three days the spent with us the made a horrible mess, had noisy sex in my living room, bathroom, and kitchen. I mean my husband I weren’t alone on our wedding night! They even expected us to feed them and entertain them. The said part way the groomsman was family and the maid was supposed to be my best frind. Glad they had fun on my wedding. Maybe your guests were [Bengali.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=323372) ---
**Author:** ![ageless6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@ageless6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ageless6)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/34 "2005-06-30T12:21:30Z")
Jesus Christ, doesn’t anyone or at least their parents have the balls to tell these useless jerks to knock it off : Either shape up or ship out! Not the ones with legit excuses, but the ones who are just flat rude. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/35 "2005-06-30T15:23:46Z")
My college roomate and I let two guys stay in our townhome for a month one summer when I was on field course and he was off for the summer. All I asked was that they take care of the aquariums. When I got back a month later and walked in the door, I was so furious I had to leave for a day. Not only had they not made any effort to vacate although they knew of my return date, the salt water aquarium had maybe half the water and the salinity was off the scale, the place was a freakin’ pigstye and they’d stripped and smoked all the “plant” growing in back we’d asked them to leave alone. They guy staying in my room had slept on the bed the first night and then after he’d dumped his laundry on it he was too damn lazy to put anything away and had to sleep on the couch for the next 30 days. Getting all the phone calls they’d made documented, the utilities and everything was a nightmare, almost as bad as getting them to agree what was legit and pay it. A year or two later I ran into one of them in a bar and he asked if he could crash at my apartment for the night. A \*%&$# month later I told him heh, my generosity had been stretched to the snapping point and he would need to start paying 1/4 rent. When I got home that afternoon he’d cleared out, leaving only a note saying something about how unreasonable I was. Even all this didn’t cause me to lose my faith in humanity. That came a couple of years later. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/36 "2005-06-30T15:29:28Z")
> [@Audrey Levins](#): > > A visiting pastor when I was a kid, who stayed with us over the weekend. > > Highlights From That Weekend: > > My parents told him that if he had any errands to run they wouldn’t mind if he borrowed the car. (He flew in.) > > He took them at their word. He was gone in that car all damn day. My mother cooked lunch and dinner and he never showed up for either. He never called. He was literally gone for hours. Showed up around eight o’clock p.m., having been gone since before lunch. Didn’t put any gas in the car to replace all that he’d used, didn’t explain where he’d been, and didn’t apologize for leaving us with only one vehicle all day long even though my dad had to work. > > I was around eleven years old, and I was drawing a pencil portrait of our dog at the kitchen table when he left. It was coming out pretty well; our dog was a Shar-Pei so I was pretty pleased with myself for getting it right. > > As he’s walking out the door he looks over my shoulder and says, “Well done! It _almost_ looks like a dog.” > > I am assuming that by now, within the intervening sixteen years, somebody has seen it as their duty to kick his ass. God bless them, whoever they are. I would have handed him the pencil and said, “Let’s see _you_ do better.” 9 times out of 10 they can’t even come close. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/37 "2005-06-30T15:48:54Z")
:: makes mental note not to be a bad houseguest herself:: My friend brought her new boyfriend to my house for dinner. The guy was a picky eater, so there were a lot of things in my gourmet dinner that he didn’t like. So far, I didn’t mind. But I **did** start to mind when he put all the olive-stones, and all the chewed-out-bits he decided he wasn’t going to swallow after all, neatly on the table. Right under the rim of his plate in front of him, so he did not have to look at it…and full in my view, as I across the table from him. Blech. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/38 "2005-06-30T15:50:41Z")
Not nearly as fun as some of the others, but I’ll jump in. A couple years ago, I had a friend I’d met over the internet come to stay at my house for a couple days. (I know, bad idea–but under the full set of circumstances which I won’t go into here, it wasn’t all _that_ stupid.) I picked him up at the airport (he was on something of a “world tour,” staying with friends for free wherever he stopped), and the plan was for him to spend the next five days with me. I had to work, unfortunately, but he was content to go into New York City and look around while I was at the grind. So, every morning, I’d have to leave for work an hour early to drop him off at the bus. And then later that night, I’d have to go pick him up. And when he wasn’t in New York, he was on my computer–my dial-up, only-phone-in-the-house computer. I saw him sign off once, and it said “You have spent 786 minutes online.” Yes, that’s right _786 minutes._ One night, I invited a few friends over so we could all have dinner and talk and hang out–and he spent the whole time on my computer. I ended up getting a cell phone that week just because nobody else could get in touch with me. For New Years’ Eve, a bunch of my friends had decided to go to a comedy club. I bought my houseguest a ticket, and he decided to go to Boston for a day or two to visit _other_ friends–then come back to my house until his scheduled departure date. So, I was out $50 on that. I’m a smoker, and he knew that. Yet every time I had a cigarette, he coughed and gave me meaningful looks, and I ended up huddled at the end of my couch next to an open window in January, feeling guilty about smoking in my own house. I was _so happy_ the day he left. Now that I think about it, I can’t recall speaking to him since. But other people he stayed with further down the line have reported he did the same at their houses. I felt slightly better after that. At least he brought his own towel. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/39 "2005-06-30T16:05:14Z")
A few years ago, Mr. S and I made yet another trip to Colorado to visit some friends, staying in their house for a week as usual. They were getting their house ready to put on the market that week – finishing painting, repairs, etc. – but insisted that we come anyway, as we were all good buds from way back and it was the only week we all could agree on. As we always do when we visit them, we told them to empty out their fridge before we came, as we would go grocery shopping when we arrived and do all the cooking for the week. Every morning Mr. S made espresso for himself and our host, with our espresso machine that he had brought along, and delivered our host’s cup to him in his easy chair as he read the paper. All week we helped them clean and paint, tidy up the yard, made suggestions for showing off the house’s best features, etc., and kept our room neat in case anyone came to see the place. We brought our dogs along, keeping them in crates in the garage (it’s a no-dog house), taking them for walks and letting them play in the fenced yard as often as possible, picking up poop as needed. During the week, we went shopping and bought gifts for our hosts and the kids. When we left, they thanked us for all our hard work and said they looked forward to our next visit. . . . Well, according to this thread, this was VERY odd houseguest behavior indeed. 😃 I still think the lady who wiped her ass with the bath towels and then put them back in the stack is the, er, um, “winner.” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090/40 "2005-06-30T16:56:33Z")
You ever want to visit Calgary, you can come stay in my house any time, **Scarlett**. How are you with gardening? 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-houseguest-behavior/310090.md?page=1)