# Odd or amusing ways to say "I find him/her attractive" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 16, 2008, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880 "2008-09-16T19:45:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Arglefraster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3bc359/32.png) [@Arglefraster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arglefraster)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/1 "2008-09-16T19:45:00Z")
Recently, a friend told me that a co-worker of his would say this about any woman he found attractive. “I’d pee in her butt.” This cracked me right up. I’m giggling about it now as I type this. Another friend says “She’s a tasty fish”. A tasty … fish? Really? So what are some other odd or amusing ways you’ve heard someone say they find someone else attractive? ---
**Author:** ![Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/13edae/32.png) [@Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interconnected_Series_of_Tubes)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/2 "2008-09-16T19:53:12Z")
“Eight… Eight and a half.” ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/3 "2008-09-16T19:57:00Z")
I’d do horrible, horrible things to her. BANG! ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/4 "2008-09-16T20:00:06Z")
I’d… [ul] [li]wreck it[/li][li]destroy it[/li][li]make out with her… _if I had to_[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/5 "2008-09-16T20:14:07Z")
I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers. I’d let her touch my penis. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/6 "2008-09-16T20:16:22Z")
He can put his boots under my bed anytime. And, the ever popular…I’d hit it. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/7 "2008-09-16T20:17:13Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers. At which point you at your crotch and say, “Ain’t that right, crackers?” I’d tap that til it fell off…then I’d pick it up and tap it some more. The guys I hang out with use ‘The weather report’ to covertly discuss the local view. The hotter the weather report, the, uh, hotter the weather. Which leads to comments on 'It’s not the heat, it’s the _humidity_ or discussions on the windchill. It’s been a surprisingly persistent code. ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/8 "2008-09-16T20:17:19Z")
I’d crawl through a 1000 yards of mind field, under barbed wire, with mortar fire overhead, just to hear her fart through a walkie-talkie. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/9 "2008-09-16T20:27:44Z")
> [@Unintentionally\_Blank](#): > > The guys I hang out with use ‘The weather report’ to covertly discuss the local view. The hotter the weather report, the, uh, hotter the weather. Which leads to comments on 'It’s not the heat, it’s the _humidity_ or discussions on the windchill. It’s been a surprisingly persistent code. Nice! I’m in the process of planning a date for tomorrow night, and I have a feeling that there will be a stiff breeze with a lot of blowing. ---
**Author:** ![1010011010](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/ea666f/32.png) [@1010011010](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1010011010)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/10 "2008-09-16T20:27:55Z")
> [@Shark\_Sandwich](#): > > I’d crawl through a 1000 yards of mind field, under barbed wire, with mortar fire overhead, just to hear her fart through a walkie-talkie. The ninjas are quick today. I submit the variations on “I’d hit it” “I’d hit it with a crowbar.” “I’d hit it like a McDonald’s cheeseburger.” ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/11 "2008-09-16T20:46:36Z")
She has the kind of body that just makes me want to have sex with her. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/12 "2008-09-16T20:53:40Z")
I’d tear that ass up like we just got married. He could beat me and make me write bad checks. Have him bathed and brought to my room. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/13 "2008-09-16T20:58:47Z")
I’d marry her cat just to get in the family. ---
**Author:** ![Kraig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/977dab/32.png) [@Kraig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kraig)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/14 "2008-09-16T21:36:52Z")
“I’d drink her bath water!” “She’ll do until the roads clear up & I can get into town & find a better one!” ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/15 "2008-09-16T22:16:26Z")
“Mmm, he’s a tall drink of water” “I’d like to climb on him like a jungle gym!” ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/16 "2008-09-16T22:19:07Z")
Well shoot, Earl…she’s cuter than two speckled pups. ---
**Author:** ![Peanut\_Gallery](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/838e76/32.png) [@Peanut\_Gallery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanut_Gallery)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/17 "2008-09-16T22:31:59Z")
VPILF This is the politics forum, right? ---
**Author:** ![Peanut\_Gallery](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/838e76/32.png) [@Peanut\_Gallery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanut_Gallery)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/18 "2008-09-16T22:33:33Z")
Or borrowed from some recent movie that skips my mind: I’d eat a mile of her shit just to see where it came from. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/19 "2008-09-16T22:33:57Z")
“Must be jelly cause jam don’t shake like that” (an old song title if I’m not mistaken) “One magnificent she beast of a woman” (heard from old timers) ---
**Author:** ![Skylark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Skylark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skylark)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/20 "2008-09-16T23:17:55Z")
“I liked the cut of his jib.” In more stiff company the explanation is he has a trusting face (and ONLY that), but really, and the way Monty Python used it, not so much. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880.md?page=2)