# Odd or amusing ways to say "I find him/her attractive" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 16, 2008, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880 "2008-09-16T19:45:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/21 "2008-09-16T23:41:20Z")
when I first laid eyes on my bf “Dewey” (a librarian by trade), I messaged him and told him, “I’d like to check you out like a Harry Potter novel.” It must have worked - we’ve been dating 6 months already 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![JaneSaintClair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JaneSaintClair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JaneSaintClair)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/22 "2008-09-16T23:43:00Z")
Two personal favorites, both strangely involving excrement… “I’d eat a mile of his shit just to get to his ass.” “I’d eat the corn out of her shit.” ---
**Author:** ![Gail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Gail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gail)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/23 "2008-09-16T23:45:06Z")
I got this from an old Harrison Ford movie, _Regarding Henry_, but it still makes me smile: Gotta get me some of that! ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/24 "2008-09-17T00:13:03Z")
A gutterally low chuckle and a huge grin. In younger days - “I’d like to jump his bones till he _rattles_.” ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/25 "2008-09-17T00:46:06Z")
“Not much meat on her, but what’s there is cherce.” (You need to be Spencer Tracy, or at least have the accent, to make that one work.) or “A woman like that could ruin a man, if he was lucky.” ---
**Author:** ![Incensed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Incensed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incensed)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/26 "2008-09-17T03:10:47Z")
“I wouldn’t kick her out of bed unless she wanted to fuck on the floor.” ---
**Author:** ![Pollux\_Oil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/858c86/32.png) [@Pollux\_Oil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pollux_Oil)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/27 "2008-09-17T03:21:54Z")
“Yeah, she’s gouda.” ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine_and_Smiles)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/28 "2008-09-17T03:32:28Z")
I’d let her bob. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/29 "2008-09-17T04:20:05Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers. Ooh, I came in here to post that one! I love it. Also, alternatively, cookies, mallomars, Ferraro Rocher, etc. ---
**Author:** ![BaneSidhe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c5a1d2/32.png) [@BaneSidhe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaneSidhe)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/30 "2008-09-17T04:39:55Z")
He makes me want to howl and drag my butt on the carpet. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/31 "2008-09-17T04:46:51Z")
> [@Shark\_Sandwich](#): > > I’d crawl through a 1000 yards of mind field, under barbed wire, with mortar fire overhead, just to hear her fart through a walkie-talkie. My friend Allie’s version: “I would crawl on my hands and knees through broken glass to lick the foot of the last person who touched him.” My variation on this one: \*Have him bathed and brought to my room \* is “Strip him, hose him off and leave him on my bed.” ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/32 "2008-09-17T04:52:04Z")
> [@Shark\_Sandwich](#): > > I’d crawl through a 1000 yards of mind field, under barbed wire, with mortar fire overhead, just to hear her fart through a walkie-talkie. I think you meant minefield, but **Mindfield** might get a kick out of this. ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/33 "2008-09-17T05:07:11Z")
> [@Richard Pryor](#): > > She looked so fine, I wanted to suck her daddy’s dick. “You’re the sort of person I could fall madly in bed with.” “She makes me want to drop one wing and run in circles” “I’d like to lick a blister on that” “I bet she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch” ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/34 "2008-09-17T05:40:31Z")
> [@Rhubarb](#): > > “I bet she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch” A variation of that I’ve heard is: “She looks like she could suck start a Harley” -This was heard said by a friend’s dad back and about the X-tina Aguillera Phase of her career. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/35 "2008-09-17T05:42:53Z")
It’s time for another game of “which poster does not belong in this thread.” ---
**Author:** ![Darryl\_Lict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@Darryl\_Lict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darryl_Lict)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/36 "2008-09-17T05:47:46Z")
Yeah, she’s nectar. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/37 "2008-09-17T06:24:39Z")
> [@1010011010](#): > > The ninjas are quick today. > > I submit the variations on “I’d hit it” > > “I’d hit it with a crowbar.” > “I’d hit it like a McDonald’s cheeseburger.” Like the fist of an angry god. Joe ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/38 "2008-09-17T06:37:28Z")
I want to lick every inch of her naked body from head to toe like a postage stamp Joel from northern exposure ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/39 "2008-09-17T06:58:07Z")
> [@wheresgeorge04](#): > > Like the fist of an angry god. > > Joe I’d bang her like a screen door in a hurricane. I’d bang her till she was crosseyed. I’d bang her till _I_ was crosseyed. I once saw an example of this meme with Hobbes (from _Calvin and Hobbes_, of course, holding up both hands, and saying “I’d hit that with all eight fingers.”😃 Her ass is proof of the existence of a loving and all-powerful higher being. Never in my life have I ever been more jealous of a popsicle. If I were crushed to death by her thighs, I’d die the happiest man on earth. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880/40 "2008-09-17T07:00:52Z")
A friend of mine expresses desire thus: “I’d like to put my penis in her vagina.” And my favourite, from Dublin: “I’d run barefoot through five fields of broken glass, just to slide in her shite.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-or-amusing-ways-to-say-i-find-him-her-attractive/463880.md?page=3)