# odd sex questions that starts with some sort of complaint about previous threads (edited title) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 22, 2015, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242 "2015-04-22T00:53:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/21 "2015-04-23T13:50:20Z")
> [@Umbridge](#): > > I think this is where it would be crucial to be married to the person you have sex with. That way, they are more likely to be committed to you forever, or face a difficult divorce/annulment. Maybe I don’t understand, but in my experience “being married” and “just staying still” aren’t correlated. The range of my experience is very limited, but being an enthusiastic sex partner and being in love seem to go together much more commonly than “you just lie there when we have sex but I don’t want to get divorced so I will overlook that”. If that is what you meant. > [@](#): > > I didn’t get the copulation involving two people part, and asking would be too embarrassing. So, that part just went over my head. I thought, even in consensual sex, only the male would be concerned and actively doing the motions, so I didn’t exactly understand how the narrator could distinguish fucking and copulating. It has been a while since I read the novel, but the distinction is that the word “copulating” is related to the word “couple”. “Fucking” (in this context) is something one person does _to_ another person. Thus “copulating” is when both partners are equally involved and enthusiastic in the act. It isn’t always and invariably that way. There certainly can be occasions where one person says “Lie still, sweetie, and let me do everything” but when that happens both people are equally involved emotionally, even one does most of the moving. Sex, especially sex in the context of a marriage, is one of those things it is difficult to describe to a person who hasn’t experienced it. And even harder to understand. > [@](#): > > The woman-on-top sex positions are riskier, because there is a chance of penile fracture or penis fracture. Some risks are worth taking. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/22 "2015-04-23T13:52:54Z")
Any risks from such positions are miniscule, in the scheme of things. And they’re more than worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/23 "2015-04-23T14:07:59Z")
Seems like this thread is proving the OP to be correct. Umbridge appears to be seeking knowledge from a clinician perspective. Whereas many responders seem to be sharing from a personal experience and lack of understanding why such knowledge couldn’t be better gained from Umbridge’s own personal experience, as opposed to trying to learn from others. Kind of like asking other people what does a tomato taste like, when the person asking has never tasted anything ever before. The respondents get frustrated and respond, with “_why don’t you just eat one and find out?_” ---
**Author:** ![Umbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Umbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Umbridge)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/24 "2015-04-23T14:08:58Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Maybe I don’t understand, but in my experience “being married” and “just staying still” aren’t correlated. The range of my experience is very limited, but being an enthusiastic sex partner and being in love seem to go together much more commonly than “you just lie there when we have sex but I don’t want to get divorced so I will overlook that”. If that is what you meant. It may be so, but in several nonhuman species, the male must pin or hold the female down somehow, or the female would move away and sex will end there. In rodents, clitoral stimulation is important to lock the female into position and raise the lumbar region dorsally. I suppose sex is different for humans. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/25 "2015-04-23T14:12:02Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Seems like this thread is proving the OP to be correct. > > Umbridge appears to be seeking knowledge from a clinician perspective. Whereas many responders seem to be sharing from a personal experience and lack of understanding why such knowledge couldn’t be better gained from Umbridge’s own personal experience, as opposed to trying to learn from others. > > Kind of like asking other people what does a tomato taste like, when the person asking has never tasted anything ever before. The respondents get frustrated and respond, with “_why don’t you just eat one and find out?_” Have you considered hands-on experience? Nothing will teach you more about sex than actually trying it. ---
**Author:** ![RiCu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19adc/32.png) [@RiCu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiCu)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/26 "2015-04-23T14:15:21Z")
> [@Umbridge](#): > > The woman-on-top sex positions are riskier, because there is a chance of penile fracture… Etc… Again, all of that might be true, but the risks are very slim and again you’re missing the reason most people have sex, it’s fun! (100% of the sex I’ve had has been for fun, not for conception). When you’re doing the deed, you aren’t thinking about the risk of penile fracture… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/27 "2015-04-23T14:43:21Z")
> [@Umbridge](#): > > Thrusting is generally a behavior that men do. As far as I know, the woman does not have to do anything during sex but stay still. Yes, this is can be true for _copulation_ and also for _the walking 69_. If my partner and I are standing facing each other and I lift her up and turn her heels over head, setting her face on my manhood and mine in her hooha, I can then stimulate her orally as I walk around the house performing chores on a Saturday, presumably those from my _Honey Do List_, and all she need do is hang on for dear life. I suppose she can bend her knees from time to time, like whenever we walk through a door opening, but other than that they probably should remain pointed upward and resembling a giant _V_ as in _Victory!_ ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/28 "2015-04-23T14:54:01Z")
> [@Umbridge](#): > > > [@RiCu](#): > > > > Seriously though, what’s the deal with you? How does someone get to (I assume) adult or near adult age without knowing this stuff? (Either first hand, or through conversations with peers, or watching films or reading a book). > > > > Am genuinely interested, I’m struggling to think of a situation that would allow this kind of inexperience/lack of education. > > Read the original post. Stop making assumptions. What assumptions? I see someone asking questions to better understand why you’re asking the questions that you’re asking. That’s assuming that your questions are sincere; I have my doubts. But assuming that they are, it would help others to frame answers to you if they understood your situation. ---
**Author:** ![Umbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Umbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Umbridge)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/29 "2015-04-23T15:13:43Z")
> [@RiCu](#): > > Again, all of that might be true, but the risks are very slim and again you’re missing the reason most people have sex, it’s fun! > > (100% of the sex I’ve had has been for fun, not for conception). > > When you’re doing the deed, you aren’t thinking about the risk of penile fracture… That is the sentiment that many people have insofar as separating sex from reproduction, and I speculate that this sentiment involves a set of values, inspired by the “sex revolution” and “free love”. Some people do feel liberated by these values, but the implications of these values may contribute to a cultural divide, known as the “culture war”. Hence matters of sex become deeply political and emotionally involved insofar as distorting the viewpoint of the other side and refusing to reconcile and compromise. ---
**Author:** ![Umbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Umbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Umbridge)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/30 "2015-04-23T15:37:49Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > What assumptions? I see someone asking questions to better understand why you’re asking the questions that you’re asking. > > That’s assuming that your questions are sincere; I have my doubts. But assuming that they are, it would help others to frame answers to you if they understood your situation. Why does it matter? I merely want to know how people do it, because I am wondering about a quick, easy, and painless way to do it. The hymen is a thin membrane that may cover the vaginal opening and may vary in size and shape. On Urban dictionary, the erect penis’ diameter can be as wide as a cucumber. Assuming the missionary sex position, which is most conducive to conception, the hymen would either stretch or tear, causing pain, because the hymen-covered vagina is not the size of a cucumber. There will be also considerable pain during childbirth, as the baby’s head puts pressure on the bladder and the bowels, and the birth canal stretches. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/31 "2015-04-23T16:25:01Z")
> [@Umbridge](#): > > There will be also considerable pain during childbirth, as the baby’s head puts pressure on the bladder and the bowels, and the birth canal stretches. Don’t worry, you’ll have approximately 40 weeks after sex, before you have to really consider these consequences. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/32 "2015-04-23T16:26:49Z")
> [@Umbridge](#): > > I speculate that this sentiment involves a set of values, inspired by the “sex revolution” and “free love”. I would disagree with you and say that the sentiment of having sex purely for the enjoyment of it has been around for **a lot longer** than the introduction of the “sex revolution”. And when I say longer, I mean throughout the history of mankind. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/33 "2015-04-23T16:48:09Z")
> [@Umbridge](#): > > Why does it matter? I merely want to know how people do it, because I am wondering about a quick, easy, and painless way to do it… You may want to reexamine “quick.” ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/34 "2015-04-23T16:53:18Z")
> [@Umbridge](#): > > That is the sentiment that many people have insofar as separating sex from reproduction, and I speculate that this sentiment involves a set of values, inspired by the “sex revolution” and “free love”. Do you think sexual intercourse was no fun, boring and a chore for everyone prior to the sexual revolution/free love movement? ---
**Author:** ![Teach-me-not](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a4c791/32.png) [@Teach-me-not](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teach-me-not)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/35 "2015-04-23T16:56:39Z")
> [@Umbridge](#): > > I have heard reports that women do the pelvic thrusting too. If that is true, then it’d be interesting to know what function the female “pelvic thrust” performs and how that may aid reproduction. “I have heard reports”…? That’s an odd (as in, formal) phrasing. Just out of curiosity, are you a medical professional? In any case, it needn’t aid reproduction, not directly at least. Maybe this behavior was selected because it increased the pleasurability of sex, and of course, more sex = more babies. The usual “I am no expert” disclaimer applies. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/36 "2015-04-23T17:08:58Z")
> [@Umbridge](#): > > In rodents, clitoral stimulation is important to lock the female into position and raise the lumbar region dorsally. I suppose sex is different for humans. I wouldn’t know; I’ve never had sex with a mouse. On the other hand, the weekend is coming up! Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/37 "2015-04-23T17:11:35Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > [QUOTE=Umbridge] > Why does it matter? I merely want to know how people do it, because I am wondering about a quick, easy, and painless way to do it. You may want to reexamine “quick.” [/QUOTE] As I said to my wife on our wedding night - “Don’t worry - this will only take a second, and you won’t feel a thing.” Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Umbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Umbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Umbridge)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/38 "2015-04-23T17:15:47Z")
> [@Teach-me-not](#): > > In any case, it needn’t aid reproduction, not directly at least. Maybe this behavior was selected because it increased the pleasurability of sex, and of course, more sex = more babies. Yeah, I did suspect that. I think the pleasure component does have a role in sex: to not make sex painful. If you have ever seen feline mating behavior, you would notice that feline sex is extremely painful for the female cats. Human females have the hymen, and the stretching or tearing of the hymen can be painful. ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/39 "2015-04-23T17:23:32Z")
I think I’m landing firmly on the side of “we’re being played,” here. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/40 "2015-04-23T17:27:36Z")
> [@Umbridge](#): > > Yeah, I did suspect that. I think the pleasure component does have a role in sex: to not make sex painful. If you have ever seen feline mating behavior, you would notice that feline sex is extremely painful for the female cats. Human females have the hymen, and the stretching or tearing of the hymen can be painful. It’s been several decades since this was an issue for one of my partners, and even then, I don’t think it was much of an issue. But, at worst, it’s a one time relatively short duration pain. Sex, after that, is not considered “extremely painful” for female humans. In fact, there isn’t supposed to be any pain at all. Just pleasure, and lots of it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242.md?page=3)