# odd sex questions that starts with some sort of complaint about previous threads (edited title) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 22, 2015, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242 "2015-04-22T00:53:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2015, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/161 "2015-04-24T20:10:18Z")
I feel like the OP is basing most of her information on what is possible during missionary by placing Ken on top of Barbie and assuming that humans work exactly the same way. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2015, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/162 "2015-04-24T20:30:08Z")
> [@Umbridge](#): > > I have a feeling that the members here are focused on recreational intercourse, while I am mainly focused on procreational intercourse. For most people most of the time, these are the same thing. > [@Umbridge](#): > > Since recreational sex is often portrayed to involve sexual attraction, and many marriages may be arranged or set up by parents who really analyze the partners’ characteristics and compatibility, and the fact that gays and lesbians can produce babies, sexual attraction in traditional arranged marriages or semi-arranged marriages is not emphasized that much. Commitment is far more important. This suggests that sexual attraction and therefore recreational sex are not necessary at all in reproduction. Your generalization about traditional or arranged marriages is very wrong. They are still a couple and they go through the same kinds of sexual relationships that “live matches” go through. If you think that letting your parents arrange your marriage is going to free you from having to deal with your husband’s interest in recreational sex or sexual attraction to you, then you’re mistaken. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2015, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/163 "2015-04-24T20:41:05Z")
> [@JSexton](#): > > I feel like the OP is basing most of her information on what is possible during missionary by placing Ken on top of Barbie and assuming that humans work exactly the same way. ^^^ This ^^^ I’m starting to get the feeling that she would begin her project of designing a starship by getting someone to tell her about an episode of _My Favorite Martian_. ---
**Author:** ![Umbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Umbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Umbridge)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2015, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/164 "2015-04-24T21:19:04Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > Assuming you’re over 18, why not find an older couple looking for a chance to show you the ropes? (no, I’m not volunteering). You could watch and learn, and they could involve you up to your comfort level. I am reminded of Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray. The Faustian narrative tells the story of a young man who is completely influenced by Lord Henry Wotton and becomes convinced that the only things worth pursuing in life are beauty and sensual experiences. Throughout the novel, that’s what he mainly pursues at the cost of his disfigurement of his portrait and relationships with other people. Frustrated, he tries to do right, but even that move is out of vanity and more experiences rather than true humility and altruism. To understand the novel, you must understand that the work is part of the aestheticism movement, in which art should be made for the senses. The 2009 movie adds a sexual spin to the plot, probably to attract modern audiences. In the original narrative, sex is never a part of the plot or the pursuit of Dorian Gray. Instead, he merely gravitates towards what he thinks is beautiful. Having a picture to show off your beauty because the painter admires your beauty is vanity, so one interpretation is that Wilde is making a critique of the aestheticism movement. The novel is multi-layered and complex, and different people can get different interpretations. The book is relevant to this thread, because there is a cost in seeking new experiences as a pathologically obsessive pursuit. In your example, seeking sexual experience by entering a relationship triangle is a recipe for disaster. It is best that the third party would not intervene in the relationship of the couple, or else jealousy ensues. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2015, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/165 "2015-04-24T21:19:12Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > If what you’re saying is correct, we’re doing it all wrong at my house. ☹ Silly! You’ve been allowing the woman to move??!! I recommend sandbags. \ ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2015, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/166 "2015-04-24T21:27:01Z")
> [@Umbridge](#): > > In the original narrative, sex is never a part of the plot or the pursuit of Dorian Gray. Instead, he merely gravitates towards what he thinks is beautiful. Having a picture to show off your beauty because the painter admires your beauty is vanity, so one interpretation is that Wilde is making a critique of the aestheticism movement. Yeah. We \*are \*being played. > [@](#): > > It is best that the third party would not intervene in the relationship of the couple, or else jealousy ensues. I think you mean “penis ensues”. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2015, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/167 "2015-04-24T21:40:05Z")
It’s very easy in general for a woman to get laid unless she is exceptionally hideous or super morbidly obese, and even then they will eventually find a taker. The number of women that would have to resort to prostitution to lose their virginity has to be such an insignificant figure as to be approaching zero. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2015, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/168 "2015-04-24T21:50:17Z")
This is if no help to a person with what seems like a high degree of anxiety surrounding sex. I can see how it might be comforting to experience sex for the first time with a professional of some kind—whether a surrogate or a prostitute. ---
**Author:** ![typoink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@typoink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typoink)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2015, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/169 "2015-04-24T21:53:53Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > In the first place, that last word is properly spelled “Athena.” (But you should call Her Great Pallas, monarch of Olympus, master of wisdom, patron of heroes, employer of Rhymers, and castrator of Zeus.) In the second place, though Pallas Athena Herself is and shall always remain virgin, She’s pretty meh about what mortals do with their genitals among themselves so long as it’s all voluntary. She’s too cool to fuss about the small stuff. For everything else in this thread, I think Skald invoking Athenianism is the most unsettling to me. Always took you for the Freyja type. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2015, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/170 "2015-04-24T21:54:50Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > This is if no help to a person with what seems like a high degree of anxiety surrounding sex. I can see how it might be comforting to experience sex for the first time with a professional of some kind—whether a surrogate or a prostitute. Well, if you’re looking for an example of mechanical “insert tab A into slot B” sex, then a prostitute is the way to go. Or it at least it ups the odds a whole lot. Funny as it sounds, cash isn’t really the number one way to get a human’s juices flowing, or to provoke enthusiasm or emotional involvement. So there’s that, if the OP wants to confirm some misconceptions. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2015, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/171 "2015-04-24T22:28:09Z")
Sex without an ongoing relationship isn’t necessarily bad sex. And a professional would have experience in not making you feel bad for your inexperience. The kind of guy you’d meet at s bar who would have sex with anyone might not be as considerate as someone performing a service. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2015, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/172 "2015-04-24T22:38:04Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > The kind of guy you’d meet at s bar who would have sex with anyone might not be as considerate as someone performing a service. Well, the category of guys who would have sex with anyone overlaps greatly with the kind of guys who aren’t actually having a lot of it with anyone. Find someone in the latter category, and, while they may not be experts at what they’re doing, I’ll bet that at least they’ll be grateful and enthusiastic. Which should matter more than skills, in my (maybe idiosyncratic, I grant you) opinion. With a prostitute, you’re more likely to encounter “bored”. Sure, I’d rather have a bored professional than an enthusiastic amateur when if comes to fixing my dishwasher. But we’re talking about sex, not engineering. Edit: Actually, since we’re talking about a lady looking for the hookup, it’s probably just confusing things beyond all hope to drag prostitution into the discussion. And, besides, if the lady goes to a lady prostitute, maybe the latter would see it as a welcome change of pace. > [@Acsenray](#): > > Sex without an ongoing relationship isn’t necessarily bad sex. Who is saying that it is? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2015, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/173 "2015-04-24T23:04:40Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Well, the category of guys who would have sex with anyone overlaps greatly with the kind of guys who aren’t actually having a lot of it with anyone. Which would perhaps make them s bad choice for someone with high anxiety who just wants to get through the experience with someone who knows what he’s doing and isn’t going to judge her performance. > [@](#): > > Find someone in the latter category, and, while they may not be experts at what they’re doing, I’ll bet that at least they’ll be grateful and enthusiastic. Confident, calm, patient, experienced, skilled, reassuring, and kind might be a better set of characteristics than enthusiastic and grateful. > [@](#): > > Which should matter more than skills, in my (maybe idiosyncratic, I grant you) opinion. With a prostitute, you’re more likely to encounter “bored”. You suppose that male sex surrogates or prostitutes with women clients make a good living by being off-putting and bored? My understanding is that they specialize in being attentive and good companions. And having watched HBO’s Cathouse, I’m under the impression that even female prostitutes put s lot of effort into making their male clients feel good about themselves, not just sticking and leaving. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2015, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/174 "2015-04-24T23:31:59Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > You suppose that male sex surrogates or prostitutes with women clients make a good living by being off-putting and bored? No, I apologize, I got myself confused by thinking of lady prostitutes. Obviously, if such a thing as a male prostitute actually exists (maybe I live a sheltered life, but I can’t recall ever encountering one), then “bored” doesn’t really make sense. Yeah, I guess the OP could knock herself out and see a (hypothetical or otherwise) male prostitute. I concede the point. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2015, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/175 "2015-04-24T23:39:32Z")
> [@typoink](#): > > For everything else in this thread, I think Skald invoking Athenianism is the most unsettling to me. Always took you for the Freyja type. You seem to have not been paying attention. **Skald** ’s devotion to Athena is so legendary it’s nearly the stuff of myth. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2015, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/176 "2015-04-24T23:41:09Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Well, if you’re looking for an example of mechanical “insert tab A into slot B” sex, then a prostitute is the way to go. Or it at least it ups the odds a whole lot. Funny as it sounds, cash isn’t really the number one way to get a human’s juices flowing, or to provoke enthusiasm or emotional involvement. > > So there’s that, if the OP wants to confirm some misconceptions. Shouldn’t Tab A be inserted in Slot A? ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2015, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/177 "2015-04-24T23:59:20Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Shouldn’t Tab A be inserted in Slot A? I guess it depends. Are we talking recreational sex, or purely procreative? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2015, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/178 "2015-04-25T00:05:35Z")
> [@typoink](#): > > For everything else in this thread, I think Skald invoking Athenianism is the most unsettling to me. Always took you for the Freyja type. :eek: Take … that … back. Or Legolas gets a bullet to the throat. ---
**Author:** ![Umbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Umbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Umbridge)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2015, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/179 "2015-04-25T00:59:56Z")
In New York City today, it is illegal to buy or sell sex. In Holden Caulfield’s time, I am not entirely sure of its legality in New York. In my state, it is also illegal to buy and sell sex. On top of that, the existence of prostitutes tends to be associated with gangs and street violence. One reason to make prostitution illegal is to arrest prostitutes in order to obtain the more dangerous criminals behind it - pimps/madams and violent gang members. The comment I made above about using a prostitute to have sex was a joke. There are massage parlors that provide erotic massage, but those are illegal, and the practitioners would not be licensed. Bars, pubs, and drinking establishments are only good for people who drink alcohol. In the United States, if you are over the age of 21, you can drink alcohol. Moderate drinking means 2 glasses of alcohol if you are a man and 1 glass of alcohol if you are a woman. Of course, not everybody can metabolize alcohol, and not everybody enjoys the flavor. I know what alcohol tastes like. I sampled it at the supermarket and college bar, because I was of legal age and I could. The beer burned, and the wine was all bitter. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Joker\_and\_the\_Thief](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e79b87/32.png) [@The\_Joker\_and\_the\_Thief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Joker_and_the_Thief)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2015, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242/180 "2015-04-25T01:13:59Z")
When reading your posts, I get the pervasive feeling that you have learned about society from books and other media, but not from first-hand experience. Please, just go out into the world and have fun. It will be scary and you will mess up and be embarrassed but the longer you wait the harder it will be to overcome your inhibitions. There are some things that you have to learn for yourself. You have nothing to lose and a lifetime of experiences to gain. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-sex-questions-that-starts-with-some-sort-of-complaint-about-previous-threads-edited-title/718242.md?page=10)