# Odd Ways To Answer The Phone **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 8, 2015, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297 "2015-01-08T09:57:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/41 "2015-01-08T20:09:10Z")
During Christmastime, if the caller id is someone I know. I’ll answer it “Hi, this is Buddy the Elf! What’s your favorite color?” ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/42 "2015-01-08T20:10:32Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > “503rdscurityforcesquadrnlanforcemendeskairmanflspknghomihepusirrmam.” No pauses and barely intelligible. That sounds suspiciously like a Philadelphia traffic report. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/43 "2015-01-08T20:13:19Z")
Back in the day, in our HR office, the receptionist would answer the phone with a very quick “Human Resources”. Someone told her it sounded like she was saying “Herman’s Racehorses”. So that’s how she started answering the phone, with a very quick “Herman’s Racehorses”. No one really seemed to catch on. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/44 "2015-01-08T20:28:24Z")
“Telephone!”😛 ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/45 "2015-01-08T20:35:57Z")
[Hello. Bert’s Taco Palace](http://www.thecomicstrips.com/store/add.php?iid=79046). ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/46 "2015-01-08T20:40:10Z")
“Go for Happy.” ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/47 "2015-01-08T20:57:56Z")
Answer the phone by saying “Hi, is Wilhelm there?” When the caller expresses confusion, say “Sorry, wrong number” and hang up. Someone did this once at a party I attended; I’ve never tried it myself. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/48 "2015-01-08T21:04:40Z")
“Ghostbusters! Whaddaya want?” ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/49 "2015-01-08T21:43:12Z")
“Hi, I’d like a large pepperoni pizza.” Stole it from Calvin and Hobbes, works like a charm. ---
**Author:** ![vd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b19c9b/32.png) [@vd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vd)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/50 "2015-01-08T22:01:20Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > “503rdscurityforcesquadrnlanforcemendeskairmanflspknghomihepusirrmam.” …for forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there. ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/51 "2015-01-08T22:28:31Z")
> [@cher3](#): > > My dad uses this one, but it’s Eight Ball doing the talking. That’s is the one I use… I’ve also used “Dead Poet’s Society: Emily Dickinson speaking” ---
**Author:** ![Waymore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Waymore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waymore)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/52 "2015-01-08T22:34:28Z")
“Joe’s taxidermy, you snuff 'em we stuff 'em.” ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/53 "2015-01-08T22:40:23Z")
Many years ago, when the best computerized text to speech sounded like the box that Stephen Hawking uses, a guy I knew would answer the phone by perfectly mimicking computerized speech with his own voice. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/54 "2015-01-08T23:00:23Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > My brother’s message was always: “We’re not here. You know what to do.” That’s my best friend’s message. “Hi, this is \*\*\*\*\*\* and \*\*\*\*\*, you know what to do.” ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/55 "2015-01-08T23:00:37Z")
[radio-guy voice]“Your on the mic with **Simplicio** , bringing you all the best hits from the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s”[/radio guy voice] ---
**Author:** ![Rhodes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhodes/32/273_2.png) [@Rhodes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhodes)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/56 "2015-01-08T23:08:01Z")
When the caller is LDS, I like to answer with “What is wanted?” mimicking the voice of Elohim in the Mormon temple ceremony. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/57 "2015-01-08T23:30:20Z")
“I’m sorry, you must have the wrong number. We don’t have a telephone.” click. ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/58 "2015-01-08T23:55:38Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > **Odd way to answer the phone** > > Throw a beer can at it, knocking it off the table, then commanding the dog to fetch it. Of course, he won’t, so you miss that call. LOL, How long do you think a telemarketer will listen to “C’mon boy, fetch the phone! Fetch the phone, boy. C’mon dammit, fetch the phone!” I will try it and let you know. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/59 "2015-01-09T01:01:30Z")
\ ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297/60 "2015-01-09T01:06:45Z")
Remembered one I used to do back in the early days of answering machines. This must have been in the 1970s: “Hello. [Pause] Haha! Fooled you! This is just an answering machine.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odd-ways-to-answer-the-phone/709297.md?page=4)