# Odes and Elegies to Trump **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 24, 2017, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714 "2017-10-24T13:56:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2017, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/1 "2017-10-24T13:56:39Z")
I hope all Dopers give this a try: compose poems to honor our Great President. (Perhaps this belongs in Cafe Society, but it seems best to ensure that the broadest lexicon is admissible.) **Don’t be bashful!** So that nobody worries about submitting the _worst_ poem, I’ll claim that distinction immediately. (I’ll present my Villanelle later, if there are enough submissions so I needn’t worry about it being the 2nd worst poem in the thread.) \*Bird got to fly Orphan got to eat Trump got to squat and grunt and tweet tweet tweet. Bird got to land Widow got to cry Trump better pinch a turd or he gonna die. \* ---
**Author:** ![Borborygmi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/borborygmi/32/217_2.png) [@Borborygmi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Borborygmi)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2017, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/2 "2017-10-24T15:12:53Z")
Mm, mmm, mm! Donald John Trump He said that we must build a wall And Mexico will pay for it all Mmm, mmm, mm! Donald John Trump He said he would fight for L, G, B and T Then banned trans folks from the Army Mmm, mmm, mm! Donald John Trump He said no refugees allowed There might be Muslims in that crowd Mmm, mmm, mm! Donald John Trump He said when Heather Heyer died There were fine people on both sides Mmm, mmm, mm! Donald John Trump Yes! Mmm, mmm, mm Donald John Trump! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2017, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/3 "2017-10-24T15:17:44Z")
> [@septimus](#): > > Bird got to fly > Orphan got to eat > Trump got to squat and grunt and tweet tweet tweet. > > Bird got to land > Widow got to cry > Trump better pinch a turd or he gonna die. I think I hear a golf clap from Bokonon out of the great beyond. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2017, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/4 "2017-10-24T16:12:54Z")
Joan Baez: Nasty Man I’ll let Joan speak for herself: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/gdSn_D6C2PI/maxresdefault.jpg "Joan Baez song @ Donald Trump "Nasty Man" Lampedusa: Concerts for Refugees (Albuquerque 13 Oct 2017)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdSn_D6C2PI) ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2017, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/5 "2017-10-24T17:02:31Z")
[quote=“bobot, post:4, topic:799714”] Joan Baez: Nasty Man I’ll let Joan speak for herself: [/QUOTE] She was my heroine when I was still a child. Thank you for posting this! Among many good verses was this one: > [@](#): > > But here’s what I think > You’d better talk to a shrink > Because you’ve got serious psychological disorders > Yes, you’ve got dangerous pathological disorders. YouTube picked a song from 44 years earlier (" Live at Sing Sing Prison" concert) to follow it: > [@](#): > > They say ev’rything can be replaced > They say ev’ry distance is not near > And I remember ev’ry face > Of ev’ry man who put me here I could spend the rest of the evening just listening to this great woman. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2017, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/6 "2017-10-24T17:16:58Z")
From Nasty Man, Google’s YouTube demonstrated its pattern-matching skills: [Mr. Tangerine Man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAlvBMwN_7U) [Sympathy for the Donald](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=362egbcwUeA). Enjoy! ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2017, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/7 "2017-10-24T20:16:25Z")
> [@septimus](#): > > … Thank you for posting this! … My pleasure! > [@septimus](#): > > … > [Mr. Tangerine Man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAlvBMwN_7U) > [Sympathy for the Donald](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=362egbcwUeA). > … Most excellent! ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2017, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/8 "2017-10-24T23:34:53Z")
Actually Don Jr.'s haiku is [the best haiku ever.](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/10/16/haikus-by-don-jr) ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2017, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/9 "2017-10-25T01:33:11Z")
She said, “Grab me like Trump would.” I said, “I can’t now That you’ve asked me to.” #haiku ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2017, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/10 "2017-10-25T01:56:31Z")
I want you to know It’s time to go 'Cause you are dumb I just want to see The back of your family Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb, you are dumb Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb, you are… Dumb weird beings foiling Barry Every voice rings out and carries No we won’t just go back Home without you hearing The sound when the many say You are dumb ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2017, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/11 "2017-10-25T04:36:18Z")
Speak not but good of the dead. He is dead. That is good. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2017, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/12 "2017-10-25T04:39:05Z")
I haven’t fired off a double dactyl in a while. Stand back, everyone; I’m out of practice, this could go anywhere. Covfefe dovfefe, Forty-fifth president Rode coalition of Nazis and hicks After the sturm und drang, Quadradecpential, My favorite number is Now forty-six. ---
**Author:** ![Covfefe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee7513/32.png) [@Covfefe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covfefe)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2017, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/13 "2017-10-25T04:51:35Z")
Well the stock market’s high So I’m ready to buy Do the Scott Adams Yeah Do the Scott Adams It looks like there is trouble But it’s a media bubble Do the Scott Adams Yeah Do the Scott Adams ---
**Author:** ![Dropo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Dropo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dropo)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2017, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/14 "2017-10-25T05:05:54Z")
“Confounds the Science” [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/IZDYhQ4UAnA/maxresdefault.jpg "Confounds the Science - (Parody of) Sound of Silence | Don Caron / Linda Gower") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZDYhQ4UAnA) ---
**Author:** ![AI\_Proofreader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@AI\_Proofreader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AI_Proofreader)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2017, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/15 "2017-10-25T05:21:04Z")
I’d have to go with the Vogon “_Ode_ To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning” : Putty. Putty. Putty. Green Putty - Grutty Peen. Grarmpitutty - Morning! Pridsummer - Grorning Utty! Discovery… Oh. Putty?.. Armpit? Armpit… Putty. Not even a particularly Nice shade of green. As I lick my armpit and shall agree, That this putty is very well green. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2017, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/16 "2017-10-25T05:40:37Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > Actually Don Jr.'s haiku is [the best haiku ever.](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/10/16/haikus-by-don-jr) Pretty sure this is paywalled. My top five of the 18 offered by Don J- er I mean Will Stephen: Buildings are the best, With elevators, and glass. So cool. So cool. Chyeah. The White House. It’s real. I thought it exploded in “Independence Day.” America First. Hell, yes. Badass. So baller. I have five children. Aboard Air Force One, We are kings. On my iPad, I watch “Neighbors 2.” God, I miss college. Beer bongs. Beer pong. Every night, I would piss my slacks. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2017, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/17 "2017-10-25T06:20:49Z")
The US has a Pres who is sick, sick sick So they called for the congress to come quick, quick quick The congress came with a vote and some crap And they knocked at the WH door with a ratta-tat-tat. The minders at the door just stood and shook their heads And they said, “The Pres has just gone off to bed, bed bed” “He’ll be tweeting in the morning, just as shrill, shrill shrill… But come baaack in the morning with more pills, pills pills” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2017, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/18 "2017-10-25T06:47:25Z")
To the tune of the “Car 54, Where Are You?” theme: North Korea’s shooting missiles, And Houston’s getting shattered, Puerto Rico’s under water, And Florida’s been battered, Muslim bans keep getting struck down, The Constitution’s tattered– _President Trump, where are youuuuu?_ The wall has not been started, The NFL’s disapproving, NAFTA may be on the rocks, Nazis find his remarks moving, He has no plans for ACA, At least his golf game is improving– _President Trump, where are youuuuu?_ ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2017, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/19 "2017-10-25T13:27:59Z")
There was an orange asshole named Trump Who put the whole world in a frump When caught in a ruse He would type “It’s Fake News!” In his tweets while taking a dump ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2017, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/odes-and-elegies-to-trump/799714/20 "2017-10-26T16:14:16Z")
@ **Mods** — I think I placed this thread in the wrong forum. We’d get more submissions in IMHO.