# Of culture shock/clothing/modesty: Your limits? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 4, 2010, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690 "2010-02-04T17:32:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/41 "2010-02-07T06:27:04Z")
Hm. Well, I guess I would wear more conservative clothes, but I would have a hard time going less conservative, I guess. I’ve worn headscarves when visiting mosques, and I ended up adopting a very conservative style of dress when I lived in Jerusalem. (It’s considered “modest dress” in most holy places for women to keep their elbows and knees covered, so I stopped wearing shorts altogether and rarely wore t-shirts. It was just out of convenience, after one too many time finding myself somewhere I hadn’t expected to go when I’d gotten dressed that morning and scrambling for a way to stay modest. I visited the Church of the Annunciation in Nazareth with a towel tied around my waist to hide my knees.) I don’t think I’d have any problems wearing a hijab, if necessary, but a burqa might be another story. On the other hand, I did not adopt local dress when I was in Peace Corps. This wasn’t a big deal because I served in Eastern Europe and wearing jeans and a sweatshirt wasn’t so bizarrely out of the norm that people stared at me when I walked down the street. But I definitely did not dress like the local Bulgarian women. I didn’t wear stiletto heels or cleavage-baring baby doll shirts, or t-shirts with covered in nonsensical English slogans, with bright blue eyeshadow and bright red lipstick. It was funny because Peace Corps handbooks have all this stuff about how we were supposed to dress according to local customs and follow local ideas of modesty, but I really don’t think they were taking into account that we might not want to go around dressed like hookers. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/42 "2010-02-07T06:55:59Z")
When I’ve gone to hot springs where nudity is the norm, I just take off my glasses along with the clothing; I’m so blind that I can’t see anyone else’s bits, and therefore they can’t see mine, whooohooo! I wish I were joking, but it works for me. I have had severe psoriasis since I was 13, so I can just barely recall being able to wear shorts, or even short sleeves. That being said, clothes are fun, and even though I now live where it’s 120+ most summer days, I still find ways to cover up that are fun. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/43 "2010-02-07T08:05:46Z")
> [@otternell](#): > > I wish our culture was just a tad bit more modest. Its nice that you look pretty in that dress, but what’s wrong with dresses and skirts that go “all the way down” to mid thigh? Our culture is already pretty damn modest for men. It makes me uneasy considering the prospects for a culture with such starkly gender-differentiated views on this. This trend has been increasing over the years. Recently we watched _Basic Instinct_. There is a shot or two of Michael Douglas seen fully nude, from the back. Flash forward to _The Departed_ where, in his sex scene with Vera Farmiga, he drops trou just barely enough to whip it out, no more than if he were standing at a urinal in a public rest room. Is this how other guys do it these days? Of course it isn’t , but why has the male form become so reviled that movies are made this way? ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/44 "2010-02-07T09:43:18Z")
> [@Taomist](#): > > When I’ve gone to hot springs where nudity is the norm, I just take off my glasses along with the clothing; I’m so blind that I can’t see anyone else’s bits, and therefore they can’t see mine, whooohooo! I wish I were joking, but it works for me. I have had severe psoriasis since I was 13, so I can just barely recall being able to wear shorts, or even short sleeves. > That being said, clothes are fun, and even though I now live where it’s 120+ most summer days, I still find ways to cover up that are fun. You would do well if you ever happened upon the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. Just whip off your glasses and it’s instantly blinded! ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/45 "2010-02-07T10:59:04Z")
> [@](#): > > Of course it isn’t , but why has the male form become so reviled that movies are made this way? I don’t get this. Apparently males are repulsed by the sight of other males’ genitalia, and women are also expected to be repulsed, unless it’s the right man at the right time. While I don’t find the human penis and testicles to be the most attractive parts of the body, neither am I going to turn pale and faint at the sight of them. Unless it’s something like **Qadgop’s** Bageldog Man, or the guy who had twenty pounds of silcone injected into his scrotum, then I might very well have to look away and try to think about fuzzy kittens. I remember watching “The Crying Game” for the first time, and I was shocked at Dil’s nude body, but that was out of awe for the display of physical perfection. Humans have bodies. Some of them are more attractive than others, and some are downright unattractive, but we all have bodies, and about half of those bodies are male. Men need to get over the idea that they’re gonna catch Teh Gay if they admire another man’s body. Women need to get over the idea that a man’s body is automatically repulsive. This doesn’t mean that men need to waggle their weinies at passing strangers, but if more people knew what the average male penis and scrotum looked like, perhaps the weinie wagglers would get less of a reaction. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/46 "2010-02-07T17:03:56Z")
> [@Taomist](#): > > When I’ve gone to hot springs where nudity is the norm, I just take off my glasses along with the clothing; I’m so blind that I can’t see anyone else’s bits, and therefore they can’t see mine, whooohooo! I wish I were joking, but it works for me. Ha, I have to say that my nearsightedness also paid off for once during my hot spring visits. I mean, I could see that everyone else was naked, but between my poor eyesight and the steam it was almost like having a real-life censor blur. This also meant I’d have missed any reasonably discreet “So, _that’s_ what a foreigner looks like nude!” looks. If anyone had been blatantly staring I probably would have noticed, but thankfully that didn’t happen. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/47 "2010-02-07T17:55:55Z")
My self-imposed standards: neckline covering my collarbone, sleeves (if they’re shorter than midway up my arm I start to feel uncomfortable), skirts/pants below my knees, shirt covers my abdomen. When I go swimming I wear a sort of “swim shorts” over my bathing suit. I don’t want to display myself all over the place. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/48 "2010-02-07T18:11:13Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Maybe living in a cold country has something to do with it - being dressed in three layers eight months of the year maybe makes me less comfortable taking any of those layers off in summer. Living in roughly the same area and climate as you, I have no problem welcoming the warm weather as a chance to shed the warm shirt, the sweater, the parka, and assorted mitts, hats, and scarves. But there’s a limit: while a T-shirt, shorts, and sandals are fine with me in nice weather, I’d prefer not to go any farther. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/49 "2010-02-07T20:03:34Z")
Well, I do take _some_ of the layers off in summer. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/50 "2010-02-08T00:13:37Z")
I wish it was more socially acceptable for women of _any_ age to not wear bras in public. I hate wearing one but I feel that I must when I go out. I could be wearing a thick tee shirt and jacket but my SO tells me he can tell I’m not wearing one so I feel like I should. But really, it’s just an outline of some boob, maybe some nip action if it’s chilly out. Why should that matter? I personally couldn’t care less if another woman wears a bra or goes to Walmart in her jammies or jogs in her underpants. Men too, but neither sex do I wish to see naked. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/51 "2010-02-08T00:36:31Z")
> [@](#): > > For me it’s really not an issue of comfort. I can feel comfortable with people wearing just about anything legal. However, I believe that the world would be a better place if we turned back the clock a few generations on clothing norms. Simply put, people are more likely to be nice to each other, polite, mannerly, and restrained in a situation where everybody is well dressed. And those who go around dressed badly will be judged because of that. It may be unfair. It may be superficial. But it’s true. It’s true that people are judged heavily by their exterior presentation, but you really think people were nicer to each other, more polite, mannerly and restrained because men wore suits, ties and hats at all times in 1910? If I had to wear heels and hose in the winter, I would be a raging (freezing cold and purple-legged) bitch. I need my long underpants and wool socks with leather boots. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/52 "2010-02-08T00:38:56Z")
> [@](#): > > Anything that is unattractive is better off to be covered out in public. For your own good and the good of everyone else. I’m thinking of “The People Of Walmart” email someone sent me. By this logic I should be nude at all times since my body looks just like the naked models on billboards. I hate that there’s this expectation that people who aren’t perfect by some standard should hide their shame. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/53 "2010-02-08T01:10:05Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > Our culture is already pretty damn modest for men. It makes me uneasy considering the prospects for a culture with such starkly gender-differentiated views on this. > > This trend has been increasing over the years. Recently we watched _Basic Instinct_. There is a shot or two of Michael Douglas seen fully nude, from the back. Flash forward to _The Departed_ where, in his sex scene with Vera Farmiga, he drops trou just barely enough to whip it out, no more than if he were standing at a urinal in a public rest room. Is this how other guys do it these days? > Of course it isn’t , but why has the male form become so reviled that movies are made this way? Oops, not Michael Douglas in _The Departed_, but DiCaprio. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/54 "2010-02-08T02:23:42Z")
I like modesty in dress because I’ve found that seeing people in less modest dress takes my mind places I don’t want it to go. I find it much easier to hang out with, say, Mennonites without being distracted by their form. But I have a feeling that if I enforced my standards, my mind would find the more modestly clothed people more distracting. As for what I wear: well, that’s mostly a matter of function over form. Sure, I like to look nice, but I would do so with whatever level of modesty was considered normal, as long as I didn’t get too cold or itchy with my skin open to the elements. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/55 "2010-02-08T04:39:18Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > You would do well if you ever happened upon the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. Just whip off your glasses and it’s instantly blinded! I did get my Bugblatter Badge in Intergalactic Girl Scouts! \ p.s. I don’t believe American society is reviling the male form, as in males are becoming more homophobic film-wise. I think the pendulum is still swinging from the 70’s, or something, cause in films, nothing else is! Can show all but full-frontal female on television, but let a male sport the slightest of bulges and it’s instantly censored. So friggin’ sexist. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/56 "2010-02-08T07:40:38Z")
> [@rhubarbarin](#): > > If I had to wear heels and hose in the winter, I would be a raging (freezing cold and purple-legged) bitch. I need my long underpants and wool socks with leather boots. And I’d be a stabbity bitch. I will NOT wear heels and hose when it’s below freezing, modesty be damned. Wear whatever, and mind your beeswax. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/57 "2010-02-08T20:52:07Z")
> [@Taomist](#): > > …p.s. I don’t believe American society is reviling the male form, as in males are becoming more homophobic film-wise. I think the pendulum is still swinging from the 70’s, or something, cause in films, nothing else is! Can show all but full-frontal female on television, but let a male sport the slightest of bulges and it’s instantly censored. > > So friggin’ sexist. Agreed. Just look at compare men’s swimsuits to women’s swimsuits. You could make at least 3 or 4 women’s suits out of the fabric that makes up one men’s suit. Other than our nipples men are expected to cover up far more than women. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/58 "2010-02-09T13:02:42Z")
Man, I just got back from Rio de Janeiro…and the beach was great! Everybody is wearing minimal swimsuits, and it is no big deal. It made me realize how sexually repressed the USA is…and the constant harping on sexuality (in advertising and the media) has made Americans weirdly repressed. We need to relax and realize how beautiful the human body is…and ditch the calvinist moralizing. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/59 "2010-02-09T15:24:49Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > This trend has been increasing over the years. Recently we watched _Basic Instinct_. There is a shot or two of Michael Douglas seen fully nude, from the back. Flash forward to _The Departed_ where, in his sex scene with Vera Farmiga, he drops trou just barely enough to whip it out, no more than if he were standing at a urinal in a public rest room. Is this how other guys do it these days? > Of course it isn’t , but why has the male form become so reviled that movies are made this way? I blame Harvey Keitel. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690/60 "2010-02-09T16:01:02Z")
> [@Perciful](#): > > Anything that is unattractive is better off to be covered out in public. For your own good and the good of everyone else. I’m thinking of “The People Of Walmart” email someone sent me. Every time I think I want to live in a nude society I get a new People of Wal\*Mart e-mail and it cures me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-culture-shock-clothing-modesty-your-limits/527690.md?page=4)