# Of geese and co-workers. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 16, 2009, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593 "2009-01-16T14:29:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/61 "2009-01-16T20:05:22Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > šŸ˜• Ferrets? Mine have managed to terrorize cats by doing the ā€œmistaking fleeing in fear for wanting to play chaseā€ trick. OK, my last one has nearly pierced a catā€™s ear by clamping on with her teeth. Unless geese are chicken\* enough to flee from a 2-lb critter, I think we have a problem with that. Maybe not ferrets ā€” weasels, stoats, or whatever liā€™l critter would skulk around and eat goose eggs. Our city council was seriously considering paying someone real American cash money to walk around Ye Olde Laykeā„¢, find goose eggs, and gentle addle them so they would not hatch. (Never occurred to the city council to pay the same people to step on the eggs. Thatā€™d keep 'em from hatching for sure.) Some kind of liā€™l egg-eating varmint would do it for free. I dunno if ferrets eat goose egs, but surely something would. ---
**Author:** ![FarmerChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@FarmerChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FarmerChick)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/62 "2009-01-16T20:10:38Z")
We have a huge wetlands on our property. The coulee is about 1/2 km from the house, [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXvKj3CDizc) is what I see and hear every spring and fall. It is kind of cool, but it get thin after a couple of weeks. These fuckers never shut up. ---
**Author:** ![Solfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Solfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Solfy)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/63 "2009-01-16T20:14:51Z")
> [@Fish](#): > > Maybe not ferrets ā€” weasels, stoats, or whatever liā€™l critter would skulk around and eat goose eggs. Our city council was seriously considering paying someone real American cash money to walk around Ye Olde Laykeā„¢, find goose eggs, and gentle addle them so they would not hatch. (Never occurred to the city council to pay the same people to step on the eggs. Thatā€™d keep 'em from hatching for sure.) > > Some kind of liā€™l egg-eating varmint would do it for free. I dunno if ferrets eat goose egs, but surely something would. If you destroy or remove the eggs, Mama Goose just makes a replacement batch. Thatā€™d be a lot of egg stompinā€™ daily. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/64 "2009-01-16T20:23:10Z")
> [@Solfy](#): > > Tell that to our [local food bank](http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/cityregion/s_527163.html). > > They easily rounded up 272 of the walking poop bags from a local park over a year ago. Huge areas of the 3000 acre park had been rendered unusable from all the goose poop. A week later I drove through the park. There were still hundreds of geese. Animal rights activists were mighty angry and squacked louder than the geese. > > Volunteers oil the eggs so they donā€™t hatch (with limited success). Other local places employ professionally annoying border collies to make parks less hospitable. Another local park had a scheduled goose hunt where 28 of them were taken. Itā€™s a constant struggle to keep the goose population down without ticking off half the human population. > > If only people realised how [evil](http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3466/3199334713_5b83590014_o.jpg)geese are. If only theyā€™d do this on the North Shore. I work at the Carnegie Science Center, and in nice weather, I like to walk to work from downtown. There is goose shit EVERYWHERE. Fortunately the geese themselves donā€™t bother me, but itā€™s goose poop city! (Still, itā€™s a great walk, I got a lot of exercise, and the view along the river is gorgeous!) When my grandmother was growing up, her family raised chickens, ducks, and yes, geese. A few used to snap at her all the time, until one day, she took one particularly obnoxious goose, grabbed it by the kneck and threw it. I think it stayed away from her after that. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/65 "2009-01-16T20:30:08Z")
> [@Solfy](#): > > If you destroy or remove the eggs, Mama Goose just makes a replacement batch. Thatā€™d be a lot of egg stompinā€™ daily. And if you invest the area with predators the geese donā€™t stick around. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/66 "2009-01-16T20:49:28Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > Some years ago five Canada geese stopped at a local cemetery, presumably during migration. It was the first time in ages weā€™d seen any around. They were probably attracted by two ponds in the cemetery. It was so cool that the newspaper took pictures and had an article about them. > > Next year a couple dozen showed up, and this time they stayed longer before flying off. > > Each year their numbers increased, and then they stopped leaving. Now thereā€™s at least a couple hundred. They crap all over and chase the original flock of domestic ducks that used to live on the ponds. That sounds like the plot of a horror movie. > [@Baker](#): > > Yet people still feed them. Idiots. That proves that Canada Geese arenā€™t dumb. Why migrate when you can stay someplace where free meals are available year round? ---
**Author:** ![the\_Lady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@the\_Lady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_Lady)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/67 "2009-01-16T20:50:08Z")
> [@FarmerChick](#): > > We have a huge wetlands on our property. The coulee is about 1/2 km from the house, [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXvKj3CDizc) is what I see and hear every spring and fall. It is kind of cool, but it get thin after a couple of weeks. These fuckers never shut up. Urgh - no kidding. Living on the 22nd floor of a tower in downtown Calgary was no fun. Loud nasty echoing geese flying by at all hours. I was often tempted to yell out the window ā€œdonā€™t you jerks have some flying south to do?ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/68 "2009-01-16T20:53:51Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Geese are honking godless killing machines. Canada Geese moreso. Not quite, they are honking godless POOPING machines. Yuck. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/69 "2009-01-16T21:04:35Z")
> [@Solfy](#): > > If you destroy or remove the eggs, Mama Goose just makes a replacement batch. Thatā€™d be a lot of egg stompinā€™ daily. At least until Mama Goose gets clogged and dies. ---
**Author:** ![bathsheba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@bathsheba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bathsheba)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/70 "2009-01-16T21:24:17Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > I donā€™t fuck geese! I _hate_ fucking them. The one time I tried-- pate all over the satin sheets. Youā€™re going to tell co-irker this, right? ---
**Author:** ![Solfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Solfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Solfy)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/71 "2009-01-16T21:52:45Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > If only theyā€™d do this on the North Shore. I work at the Carnegie Science Center, and in nice weather, I like to walk to work from downtown. There is goose shit EVERYWHERE. Fortunately the geese themselves donā€™t bother me, but itā€™s goose poop city! (Still, itā€™s a great walk, I got a lot of exercise, and the view along the river is gorgeous!) They were using the border collies over by the stadiums as I heard. The problem is itā€™s not a long lasting solution. The geese go away, the dogs go away, the geese come back. Perhaps the Science Center needs a canine mascot? [off topic] Did you ever catch the Ion Jones show?[/off topic] ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/72 "2009-01-16T22:13:49Z")
> [@Solfy](#): > > If you destroy or remove the eggs, Mama Goose just makes a replacement batch. Thatā€™d be a lot of egg stompinā€™ daily. Right. Thatā€™s why you want to leave the eggs intact, so that Mama will stupidly sit on them for a month in a vain attempt at incubation. (The thought alone fills me with sadistic glee.) By the time the dumb cluck wises up, itā€™s too late in the season for a replacement batch. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/73 "2009-01-16T22:17:58Z")
local lake got shut down a few summers back 'cause of the goose shit. At the old hippie farm on which I currently reside, they used to keep some as ā€˜guardsā€™. theyā€™d chase any and every body. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/74 "2009-01-16T23:12:34Z")
> [@buttonjockey308](#): > > The person in the OP is off her rocker, uh now that Iā€™m thinkin of it, **Biggirl** you donā€™t work with Curlcoat by chance, do you? Curlcoat shoots geeseā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/75 "2009-01-16T23:31:26Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > And the next poster who says Viola! instead of Voila! should be strung up. Ahh, fiddle faddle. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/76 "2009-01-16T23:58:48Z")
Two seperate incidences regarding Geese. My friend has a pond on her property and a goose took to making it her home ( there may have been more geese, I dunno.) Eggs were laid and the nest was watched excitedly for geeslings and much AWWWWWW was made when babies were hatched. Then momma took them for a swim. One by one the geeslings were snatched to their death by the snappers and ( she thinks) pike in her big ass pond. The kids were mortified. The other story. A goose laid a nest by the play structure of the elementary school, so it was barricaded off and the kids stayed away from it. When it came time for the First Swim, a bunch of kids and teachers followed the waddling group about 100 yards to the nearest pond. One, two, three, four, five they went in. One two three fourā€¦were sucked under by snappers. In front of the kids. The goose did not come back to that spot next year. Clearly the only thing that can beat down the godless poop machines that are Geese are American Snappers.USA! USA! ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/77 "2009-01-17T00:07:34Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > ā€¦I didnā€™t think I could hate a bird more than I hate pigeonsā€¦ Pigeons are merely rats with flight capabilities. Geese, on the other hand, are akin to raccoons with wings they just assume not use. My dogs would probably disagree, as they both (inexplicably) love the ā€œvegetarian goodnessā€ of fresh goose turds. ---
**Author:** ![Charger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df788c/32.png) [@Charger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charger)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/78 "2009-01-17T01:52:46Z")
Geese are the only creatures who shit more than twice their own weight. It is a mystery of science, the study of which will eventually lead to the invention of Star-Trek-like replication technology. Nobel Prize to the first scientists to find a way to make jet fuel out of goose shit. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/79 "2009-01-17T02:13:03Z")
what would it take to make serving roast goose a viable solution to this problem? Theyā€™re about the only pests I can think of that are potentially tasty. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/80 "2009-01-17T03:21:27Z")
Considering that in the soup kitchen story linked upthread 90% of the tested meat was too contaminated with mercury to be released for human consumption, I think chelation treatments would have to be part of the solution. Which generally would come under the category of inhumane treatment for the geese. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593.md?page=5)