# Of geese and co-workers. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 16, 2009, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593 "2009-01-16T14:29:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/81 "2009-01-17T03:34:44Z")
Last year a couple of those bastards decided to hatch eggs next to the front entrance at the building I work. They were attacking people who were going in and out of the building. If it were up to me, I would have fixed the problem using a Mossberg pump-action shotgun. But no… we weren’t allowed to touch them. They put up a barrier and routed people around the fucking geese. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/82 "2009-01-17T05:03:09Z")
> [@Paul in Saudi](#): > > The idea is they make a racket if someone breaks in. Some battle or another turned on this, the sentries were woken by the guard geese. [Sack of Rome, 390/387 B.C.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_the_Allia) > [@](#): > > The remnants of the legions fled back to Rome in panic; as Livy states, “all hastened to Rome and took refuge in the Capitol without closing the gates.” In Rome the citizens barricaded themselves on the Capitoline Hill. The Gauls unsuccessfully tried a full frontal assault, pausing half way up the hill and due to the Romans’ quick thinking, and a direct charge later, they paid dearly and lost many lives. At this point, the Roman soldiers in Veii needed to get a message to the Senate in order to reinstate Marcus Furius Camillus as the dictator and general, and so a messenger climbed a steep cliff the Gauls had neglected to guard. The messenger left with the Senate’s approval, but the Gauls noticed this path onto the hill. **According to legend Marcus Manlius Capitolinus was alerted to the Gallic attack by the sacred geese of Juno.** The rest of the city was plundered and almost all Roman records were destroyed. > > … > > The memory of this catastrophic defeat stayed with Rome for generations after the initial shock had worn off. Every year, on the anniversary of the sacking, Guard Dogs were crucified on the Capitoline hill as punishment for their failure to alert the people of Rome to the Gallic sneak attack, **while the Capitoline Geese, whose honking provided the only warning, were brought to watch on gilded purple cushions.** ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/83 "2009-01-17T06:40:48Z")
> [@JohnBckWLD](#): > > Geese, on the other hand, are akin to raccoons with wings they just assume not use. Are you trying to say “they’d _just as soon_ not use”? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/84 "2009-01-17T08:50:32Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > what would it take to make serving roast goose a viable solution to this problem? They’re about the only pests I can think of that are potentially tasty. I dunno, I heard they can be greasy. Anyone confirm this? ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/85 "2009-01-17T09:16:15Z")
Domestic geese are very greasy. Not sure about the wild ones. ---
**Author:** ![manila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@manila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manila)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/86 "2009-01-17T09:25:13Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Harold _Meeker_, dammit. > > And the next poster who says Viola! instead of Voila! should be strung up. > > … presumably strung C G D A ? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/87 "2009-01-17T10:01:05Z")
We need solutions, not bitterness and ridicule. The geese really aren’t to blame. They have no sense of moral values. They don’t know right from wrong. Why can’t we house them with the criminally insane? ---
**Author:** ![Ichbin\_Dubist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ichbin\_Dubist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichbin_Dubist)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/88 "2009-01-17T12:16:55Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > and \*\*\*pudding \*\*\*when they’re in the business end of a jet engine. Apparently the word is **snarge**. Interview with bird goo person [here](http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=99474333). By the way, since the plane’s engines have apparently gone missing, who’s up for a conspiracy theory? The timing with Bush’s farewell address _is_ suspicious. And those ferries got there awfully fast. I’m starting to think that the geese are being set up … if there was even a plane at all. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/89 "2009-01-17T13:02:47Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > We have several small profitable companies in the area that use Border Collies to patrol parks and corporate grounds to keep the geese away. My municipality has folks in canoes herd the geese in the spring onto a shoreline corral, and then march them into a truck to take them away. As long as there are goslings, the geese stay together rather than fly away. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/90 "2009-01-17T13:22:43Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > We need solutions, not bitterness and ridicule. The geese really aren’t to blame. They have no sense of moral values. They don’t know right from wrong. Why can’t we house them with the criminally insane? They need Phred Phelps to help them see the error of their ways! ---
**Author:** ![Dreamy\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@Dreamy\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dreamy_B)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/91 "2009-01-17T13:23:27Z")
Canada goose, you go home now. You’re supposed to be a migratory bird. I’ve been closer to Canada then these fuckers. Next thing instead of calling them Canada Geese, we’ll be calling them Town Mall Geese. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/92 "2009-01-17T13:38:16Z")
> [@JohnBckWLD](#): > > Pigeons are merely rats with flight capabilities. Geese, on the other hand, are akin to raccoons with wings **they just assume not use**. My dogs would probably disagree, as they both (inexplicably) love the “vegetarian goodness” of fresh goose turds. 😕 What the hell does that string of words mean? “they would just as soon not use”, perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/93 "2009-01-17T14:08:21Z")
> [@Ichbin\_Dubist](#): > > Apparently the word is **snarge**. Interview with bird goo person [here](http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=99474333). I love that her last name is _Dove._ Snarge. I wonder how often I can work that into an everyday conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/94 "2009-01-17T14:30:52Z")
“Want some Domino’s Pizza?” “Hell no! I ain’t eating that snarge!” ---
**Author:** ![Ichbin\_Dubist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ichbin\_Dubist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichbin_Dubist)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/95 "2009-01-17T16:10:00Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > Snarge. I wonder how often I can work that into an everyday conversation. You could refer to McNuggets as chicken-fried snarge. ---
**Author:** ![bovine\_3.14159](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9bd4f/32.png) [@bovine\_3.14159](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bovine_3.14159)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/96 "2009-01-17T18:21:33Z")
I’ll try to cover my butt by noting that I’m very glad no one, except the unfortunate geese, was seriously injured and that I do not endorse arbitrary fly-by goosings. However, this incident (and the over-sensitive woman in the OP) is as funny as setting someone’s hair afire. Husband’s a truck driver and is quite hazardous to innocent animals (the livestock he hauls to slaughterhouses not included). I was on the road with him for two years and am amazed at how many animals he killed. To date: 1 buck, 1 fox, 1 snow rabbit, 10 + jack rabbits (gotta love NM), 1 coyote, 1 snow owl, 1 turkey, 1 goose, 3 ducks, 20 + pheasant (gotta love SD for the stupid pheasant), unknown # of other birds, frogs, lizards, turtles, and 1 armadillo\*. That’s just when I rode with husband; his 20 yr career makes him PETA’s worst enemy. Every time he hits an animal I’ll recite an orphaned baby/mama conversation: “Mama, why didn’t daddy come home last night? Doesn’t he love us anymore?” “I’m surprised you haven’t heard yet, son. It’s all over I-90. There was a hit and run accident. Daddy was minding his own business, just crossing the road, when a horrible truck driver mowed him over. You’re the mallard of the nest now.” “Mama, won’t someone think of the ducklings?” It’s a sad fact of life that animals get in the way of humans. Husband does his best to avoid all the animals, but I wonder if the gal in the OP would prefer him to jackknife 100k lbs of tractor, trailer and cattle just to avoid hitting Bambi. I’ll take deer slop any day over a human getting killed. And I’m pretty sure the families of the people on the plane are just tickled that the pilot didn’t swerve to miss a skein (hah!) of geese. \*In all our travels, I’d only seen armadillos sunbathing in the middle of the road (code for roadkill). I finally got to see a live one. For about six seconds. There wasn’t enough time for husband to miss the poor feller. It ripped off a mudflap and bent the metal flap holder. Husband wouldn’t go back and let me get the shell to make a soup bowl. Now my favorite song to sing when we see a sunbather is George Strait’s hit, “Armadillo By Morning.” \*\*Just have to tell the story of my friend’s son. Years ago we took him fishing at a busy park where there are also lots of geese. Upon seeing the many geese, the four yr old did the excited kid dance (like a seizure) and screamed at the top of his lungs, “EEEEE! MOMMY! Look at all the HONKIES!” It took us twenty minutes to stop laughing and explain that honky isn’t a word we scream in public. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/97 "2009-01-17T18:43:18Z")
**bovine** , does your husband paint little animal symbols on the side of his truck whenever he gets a new type (like a fighter pilot)? 😃 (Your friend’s son’s story is hilarious! I can’t figure out if it’s funnier if the family is white or black!) ---
**Author:** ![Pyper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Pyper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyper)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/98 "2009-01-17T20:54:15Z")
There are tons of geese at El Dorado Park in Long Beach, which has an extensive lake system. They waddle up to people in packs of four or five, honking threateningly. They remind me of a Mafia gang. “You got da bread? Hand over da bread and nobody gets hurt.” ---
**Author:** ![bovine\_3.14159](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9bd4f/32.png) [@bovine\_3.14159](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bovine_3.14159)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/99 "2009-01-17T21:14:39Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > bovine, does your husband paint little animal symbols on the side of his truck whenever he gets a new type (like a fighter pilot)? **featherlou** , that’s a grand idea. Right now we just name the dents and broken pieces: Son of a buck! - bumper. Crap, coyote! - bumper lights. Oh shit, owl! - smokestack. Bastard bird! - sleeper roof. Retarded rabbits! - steer tires. I have to give a shout out to one of my peeps, a dear departed friend called Duck, Duck, Goo. His buddies managed to miss us, but DDG flew smack into the side of the trailer (at least _we_ didn’t end up in the pond). Since it’s a livestock trailer, it has holes. Feathers came out the other side for miles and other drivers thought we were hauling chickens. When we unloaded the cattle, about 300 miles later, a couple of cows had feathers in their mouths. Ewww. I guess it was a twofer at the slaughterhouse. Great times by almost all. \*Side note re: the friend’s kid. We’re all white. There was a black couple nearby, but they didn’t seem to notice. Or were too polite to point and laugh. On the same fishing trip I taught the kid how to pee outside on a tree (he couldn’t hold it for the walk to the bathroom). He was so proud. My bad that I neglected to tell him about wind direction. I plan to do right by my own son. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2009, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593/100 "2009-01-18T03:45:41Z")
> [@Solfy](#): > > They were using the border collies over by the stadiums as I heard. The problem is it’s not a long lasting solution. The geese go away, the dogs go away, the geese come back. > Perhaps the Science Center needs a canine mascot? > > [off topic] Did you ever catch the Ion Jones show?[/off topic] Canine mascot? Hmmmm…perhaps I could suggest it at the next meeting! [off topic]Not only have I seen it, but my boss played the villain in the intro! :D[/off topic] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-geese-and-co-workers/481593.md?page=6)