# Of Hair and Pocketwatches (it takes a while, this one) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 6, 2004, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355 "2004-12-06T14:09:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/81 "2004-12-08T20:35:59Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > I’m wondering how NakeDan the Handyman shows up at the door. In a tear away jump suit? A bathrobe? **Shibb** , break something, ship the **Shibblets** off for the day, call him up and report back to us, ok? 😃 Maybe **Mrs.Shibb** wouldn’t be mad at ya for breaking something if a nekkid repairman showed up to fix it. > > \<\\> > -swampbear (I still say the UPS guy looked longer than he needed to) We live in the wrong county. I can always break something in the office so that we can have entertainment for our Christmas party. Or maybe Mom would appreciate having her plumbing checked out? :eek: As for this alleged, ahem, “long look”, just quit braggin’, alright? Mebbe he was just trying to read the inscription. - Shibb, who wonders what **Dantheman** does for a living and where he’s been lately… :insert pensive smiley here: ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/82 "2004-12-08T20:53:00Z")
I want a nekkid handyman! Actually, I have someone who would oblige, and he won’t charge me. Still, the faucet in the blue bathroom needs to be replaced and I’d hate for my sweetie to strain himself when I can hire someone… OK, back to reality. I’m making a tuna-noodle casserole for dinner. I know when I open the can of tuna, the cat will get all friendly. He’s gonna have to wait. For dessert, we have devil’s food cake with white chocolate almond frosting. Yummmmmmm. 'Tis said “Life is short, eat dessert first.” What say ye? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/83 "2004-12-09T01:25:05Z")
With apoliogies to Irving Berlin: \*I’m dreaming of naked Santa, Just like the one that **swampy** saw With his body burly, and hair so curly We’re adults, so screw the law. I’m dreaming of a Santa hunk With every ounce of hope I might, May you find an elf to hold each night, And may all your Santa’s be tight.\* ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/84 "2004-12-09T12:38:59Z")
You know **Kalley** , Santa only comes once a year. Is that really something you look for in a boyfriend? Although that one time a year, it does take all night… ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/85 "2004-12-09T12:49:33Z")
> [@Rue DeDay](#): > > You know **Kalley** , Santa only comes once a year. Is that really something you look for in a boyfriend? > > Although that one time a year, it does take all night… That was a rather cheeky thing coming from you, **Rue**. :o ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/86 "2004-12-09T12:57:32Z")
For anyone wondering, VunderWife came home last night. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/87 "2004-12-09T12:59:28Z")
\ _Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes Santa Claus!_ \ Fact is, buttless chaps Santa wasn’t actually all the way nekkid. Just some essential parts is all. -swampbear(On how many levels is lookin’ at a mostly naked Santa wrong?) ---
**Author:** ![TheFaerie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c57346/32.png) [@TheFaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFaerie)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/88 "2004-12-09T14:18:25Z")
> [@Kallessa](#): > > May you find an **elf** to hold each night, > And may all your Santa’s be tight.\* Hey! I got one of those! I’m so lucky. Happy Holidays to you all. I have really enjoyed lurking with you all this year. What a fun group. Always brightens my day. And **Mr. DeDay** , I liked your Xmas story much better than the original. Thanks! **VunderBob** , glad to hear your wife is home. I hope she is doing better and that the two of you can enjoy the rest of the holiday season in comfort and peace. The Faerie ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/89 "2004-12-09T14:28:38Z")
YAY! **VunderWife** is home! Hope she’s doing ok. **Kalley** loved the Crimmus song. I shall sing it just that way from now on! **TheFaerie** we aim to please. Delurk and join in the fun sometimes! ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/90 "2004-12-09T14:42:34Z")
**kalley** , that is so funny! **bob** , oh, that’s good. A young friend of mine has Lupus and I know the flares can be dreadful. Tell her we’re all rootin’ for her. **swampy** , you reminded me that there’s a picture out there in cyberspace of a naked Santa on a rug. Not pretty…not fun…just wrong! I came into work early today to help the big boss finish up on a big presentation he’s making to a large chain Italian restaurant headquartered here. Olive to tell ya’ll which one but should probably garden it with my life. 😃 My other team members are at the grand opening of the newly rejuvenated Cypress Gardens, which was the original Flawduh theme park that opened in the 30s. Their big draw was their gardens, naturally, and water-skiers. They couldn’t compete with the mouse house and finally closed a coupla years ago. Well, some dude from up in Jawjah bought the place and threw in some coasters and other rides and they are reopening today. We shall see. I think I’m getting some crud cause I’m getting that sore throaty thing. Great! Just great!!! Tupug ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/91 "2004-12-09T15:04:54Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > That was a rather cheeky thing coming from you, **Rue**. :o I do not know to what you refer. I was just sayin’- 364 days a year, no boyfriend. One night a year, oh look, here his is! Then he just eats your cookies and drinks your milk and he’s off to the next house. Not much of a relationship I’d say. Yay **VunderWife**! Now stay better. Because I said so. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/92 "2004-12-09T15:15:39Z")
Ya know, I could forgive ACBG a lot of things, but eating all my cookies? That’d be tough to forgive I tell ya! I might let him have the last beer (yeah, like I’d ever be down to my last beer) but my last cookie? :eek: Ok, so I’d never be down to my last cookie either. **Tuppy** the guy from Jawja that bought Cypress Gardens is the guy who owns Wild Adventures, a theme park in Valdosta, GA. He’s turning it into the same kind of theme park. Wild Adventures is just off I75 in 'Dosta. Check it out sometimes. It’s ok. Been there, done that, bought a tshirt and all that stuff. Did I tell y’all that my high school won the Georgia State 3A Football Championship last Saturday night? How’s that for absolutely mundane? **GO GRANGERS!** Yep they are called the Grangers. It’s French. It means farmers. Then again the town is LaGrange, which in French means the farm. The town was named for the French Estate of the Marquis de LaFayette, who allegedly said the area reminded him of his estate when he was touring the area somewhere arouns 1820. There’s a statue of LaFayette on a horse in the middle of the town. It sits on top of a fountain. The horses’s feet get wet all day and night long. Poor horsie! -swampbear (yeah, gimme some more caffiene) ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/93 "2004-12-09T15:46:37Z")
**Swampy** , can you let me know where to find that shack outside LaGrange? You know what I’m talking about. **Tupug** , we spent most of T-Day weekend visiting my SIL in Lake Wales. Saw some stuff on TV about the new Cypress Gardens. There were a _lot_ of seniors buying season passes for what looks like a non-senior oriented theme park. It’ll be interesting to see how that goes. ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/94 "2004-12-09T16:22:55Z")
Dag! I’m late again to the MMP again. I liked \*\*Rue’s \*\* story. Should we start calling him **O. Rue**? My hubby played Santa once at his company’s Christmas party. Problem was that the outfit was WAAAAAAAY too big for him. We shoved pillows and stuff down his pants and up his shirt. He had a hella time even walking. It was absolutely hiliarious. The pants kept coming down and actually fell down one time because of it. At any rate, later that night, when the kiddos were out of sight, I sat on “Santa’s” lap and told him what I wanted for Christmas. 😉 Then he did a “strip” job for me. **Vunderbob,** I am so glad to hear that your wife his home again. I hope she starts feeling better soon. **Swampy,** I just hate the HIPAA stuff. I’ve done my “training” for this year, but get to do it all over again next year. We get to do ours on the intranet. Well, I must get back to my ever present, ever-burgeoning spreadsheets. ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/95 "2004-12-09T16:44:12Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > \*\ ***Tupug** , we spent most of T-Day weekend visiting my SIL in Lake Wales. Saw some stuff on TV about the new Cypress Gardens. There were a _lot_ of seniors buying season passes for what looks like a non-senior oriented theme park. It’ll be interesting to see how that goes. Well, they still have the gardens and water-skiing shows and there are other things to appeal to seniors. They are also having concerts with headliners who will probably appeal more to the geriatric set than head bangers. ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/96 "2004-12-09T17:01:28Z")
Yay **VunderBob**! Hope the wife is feeling better. In other news, I bought a Christmas tree yesterday and put it up. It’s huge, and now the house smells all piney. Sure is nice. Not to bring down the mood of the thread, but if anyone has any good vibes left (it’s been a rough couple o’ months for the MMPers) I sure couple use some sent my Dad’s way. Don’t know if I’ve mentioned it here or not, but he has leukemia and some sort of tumor on one of his kidneys. He’s probably going to be alright, but he most recent round of chemo hit him pretty hard, and I have to fly back to Connecticut this weekend to help him out. I’ll probably fly back on Tuesday with (hopefully) good updates, so have a good weekend everybody. By the way, **Tupug Anachi** , don’t say geriatric around **Swampy**. He’ll have the AARP come and kick your butt. 😉 \* \*Smilie inserted just for **Rue**. ---
**Author:** ![merrily](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@merrily](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merrily)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/97 "2004-12-09T17:51:50Z")
First I was going to berate you all for spoiling the Christmas Carols for me. Now they all have _other meanings_. Chestnuts roasting, Up on the rooftop, even Ho Ho Ho. But then I realized that, suddenly, hearing the carols for weeks and weeks actually seems a little…enjoyable. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/98 "2004-12-09T18:03:18Z")
> [@Shibb](#): > > Swampy, can you let me know where to find that shack outside LaGrange? You know what I’m talking about. Love? Sugar? Moonshine? I gotta have a little more to go on here **Shibb**. Woohoo! Severe thunderstorm watch in effect til 6 PM. We need the rain but not all the boom booms. :eek: **merrily** I could get a friend of mine to sing his rousing rendition of “I Saw Daddy Kissin’ Santa Claus” if you like. **lightingtool** , prayers, good thoughts and doper vibes headed up to **lightingdad** in Connecticut. I feel for you too. It’s tough watching parents go through stuff like that. Been there with my father, so I know. **Tuppy** if they get the Stones to headline a concert at Cypress Gardens they’d get some geriatric headbangers. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/99 "2004-12-09T18:22:56Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Love? Sugar? Moonshine? I gotta have a little more to go on here **Shibb**. Just let me know, if you wanna go, to that home out on the range. They gotta lotta nice girls, ah. Well, I hear it’s fine, if you got the time, and the ten to get yourself in. A hmm hmm ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355/100 "2004-12-09T18:43:26Z")
Great! Just great! Now I’ve _Love Shack_ running through my head, over and over, and over, and over! Aaaggh! I can’t concentrate on my stuff now because all I want to do is bounce around to that damned song! In Christmas news…we knocked out most of our present shopping on Sunday. We have just a few more to get and then we’re done! I think this will be earliest we’ve ever been done! We’re getting our tree this weekend. A nice, tall, perfect, Grand Fir! I just love how those trees smell! I don’t mind the needles too much. I just suck 'em up with my vaccuum and then my vaccuum smells all nice too. Well, back to be-boppin along to that damn song… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-hair-and-pocketwatches-it-takes-a-while-this-one/278355.md?page=6)