# Of Height And Men **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 4, 2004, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622 "2004-01-04T08:26:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/21 "2004-01-04T20:13:32Z")
While I understand that everyone has preferences, **Standup Karmic** , my curiosity stemmed from why height requirements seems so universally prevalent. After reading some of these responses, it makes me think of that tall woman I saw in the bar a few weeks back. What was her opinion of the 95% of the men that were shorter than her? Was she thinking “Oh my, not many guys here that I could date, is there?” Just FTR, I’m not asking this because I’m short or been told I’m the wrong height. At 6’ even I rarely encounter women that are as tall or taller than I, and I’ve never had occassion to date one but I wouldn’t shirk at the opportunity. Size (height & weight) have never really been factors for me in sizing up potential dates. The only slight preference I have is long hair. It’s not a dealbreaker, but I like it nonetheless. > [@](#): > > **Not too many women really want to marry down, step down “lower” to a “shorter” rung on the economic, educational, or social ladder.** So love isn’t blind after all, eh? ---
**Author:** ![zephyrine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/35a633/32.png) [@zephyrine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zephyrine)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/22 "2004-01-04T20:27:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > \*\*So love isn’t blind after all, eh? \*\* Only over the internet 😉 . Yes, love is blind. But very few people come across in all their wonderfulness instantly. Before our brains process: “THIS is the person for me!”, our eyes have often processed: “Too short/tall/young/old, badly-dressed/fashion-victim, wrong nationality/race/gender/religion, etc.” Love is blind but lust is shallow. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/23 "2004-01-04T20:30:27Z")
If height were a critical criterion, I’d have a large and varied harem by now. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/24 "2004-01-04T20:32:48Z")
I don’t have much “attitude” on the subject but experimentation has shown that parts fit together most nicely when I’m just a bit less than half a foot taller than the female person. Don’t have to arch my back to get face to face for kissing during the procedures as with shorter women. Don’t end up with my nose on level with her chin as with taller women. Nevertheless it’s not a criterion or anything. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/25 "2004-01-04T22:25:56Z")
Ah yes… the height thing. I’ve dated guys smaller than me… I have no problem with it. Of course I also don’t have too much of a choice… I’m 6’1 and haven’t encountered a tall guy who would like to date me yet because I am often the same or almost the same height as them. The only problem I have with dating smaller guys is the crick in the neck… it’s tougher to snuggle on the couch and I have to lean down to kiss them. My preference is really someone close to my height, within a few inches isn’t too bad. One guy I really liked was exactly my height, we could sit on the floor and prop each other up shoulder to shoulder… (we were of course drunk when we found that out but he was cool). I would like to date a guy taller than me just once for the experience… plus I think it just makes me feel safe when someone taller takes me in their arms (postulating from hugs recieved from friends/family taller than I am). Overall though height doesn’t factor in majorly unless there is a big discrepancy… like he is shorter than around 5’6. But if I ever met a guy who I liked that was shorter than that, well I don’t think the height would stop me. It’s not a dealbreaker type of thing just a general preference. ---
**Author:** ![Burrido](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Burrido](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burrido)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/26 "2004-01-05T00:51:45Z")
Never dated anyone shorter than me, 5’7 ish, depending if I’m slouching or not. I have to be the big one in the relationship. Maybe its a powertrip thing or something, but I wouldn’t be able to tolerate it if I had to look up to ask my date a question. ---
**Author:** ![Risha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5fc32e/32.png) [@Risha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Risha)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/27 "2004-01-05T01:09:58Z")
I’m somewhere between 6’ .5" and 6’ 1". My husband is just about 6’. By and large this is fine, but on days where I’m feeling less than attractive already, this can make me feel like a hulking beast. The hubby doesn’t seem to have a problem with it, though he’s mentioned it on occasion. ---
**Author:** ![Algorithm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/algorithm/32/12204_2.png) [@Algorithm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algorithm)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/28 "2004-01-05T01:21:37Z")
I only date shorter women because the taller ones run faster and it’s harder to catch up to them. ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/29 "2004-01-05T03:40:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > **I’d be interested in hearing from the gay/bi community as well to see if height perceptions hold when relating to the passive/dominant relationships between the same gender.** In my experience, the passive/dominant dichotomy doesn’t really hold up in real relationships. For instance, in all of my relationships I’ve been the predominantly–ahem–top partner. To some, this would appear to indicate that I’ve been the “dominant” participant. OTOH, all my relationships have been with older guys (I’ve never made it with a guy less than 4 years older than me). The age gap may make me a more submissive partner. The line is further blurred by the fact that (despite my age) I tend to be dominant and extroverted than most my partners in social situations, while in private I’m much more passive. There isn’t really a clear line between passive/dominant. Really, this is like asking a husband and wife, “who’s the dominant one in your relationship?” Most hetero- couples will struggle to answer the question. \ Anyway, about 70% of my partners have been shorter than me (I’m 5’ 10’.5"). I have no problem being with someone taller than me (although having to tilt my head upwards to be kissed to definitely a different experience!) ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/30 "2004-01-05T07:23:39Z")
I’m a woman who’s 5’11" and back in my dating days, I was happy to go out with men who were shorter than me _as long as they weren’t too self-conscious about it_. I didn’t care if I towered over a man, but if he continually made comments about it, acted uneasy, or cared passionately about the height of my heels, he was no fun to be with. For all that I say height didn’t matter to me, though, I did end up marrying a man who is a few inches taller than me. It’s odd that I never thought of it before, but back in my dating days, I also went out with women, and every one of the women I’ve been seriously attracted to has been shorter than me. I’m not sure if that’s because most of the women I know are shorter or whether there’s some deep psychological reason for it. I think if it’s a sign that I want to be dominant, well, I’d probably prefer shorter men as well. Strange. ---
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/31 "2004-01-05T08:03:04Z")
As a guy at the shorter end of the spectrum (169cm or 5’6") I can’t say that my height has given me too much trouble getting dates. To me, it’s somewhat irrelevant. My ex was 5’1", my current regular shag is 6’1". Someone once said to me that apparently penis size correlates to height, which is why taller guys are more desirable, but I know this isn’t correct in my case 😃 ---
**Author:** ![LadyMack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4491bb/32.png) [@LadyMack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LadyMack)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/32 "2004-01-05T08:21:31Z")
Maybe it is the upbringing, but I’ve always been more comfortable with someone much taller than I am. I have dated/married others, and always felt awkward and clumsy around them. Present husband is 6’4", and I am 5’7". Just feels right. ---
**Author:** ![Nvme77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Nvme77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nvme77)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/33 "2004-01-05T11:55:16Z")
I am 5’2" my SO is 6’3" I love it. I can wear the highest heels ever and still be 6 inches shorter than him. I think its a throw back to watching my mother go through the tedious task of finding shoes with a 1/2 inch heel since she is 1 inch shorter than my dad. I felt she was cheated in her shoe buying opportunity and vowed that I would never be stymied by the man I was with in dictating what heel height I wore. My average heel height is 3 1/2 and 4 inches high- every day except when hiking or working out. ---
**Author:** ![Profane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/34 "2004-01-05T14:06:38Z")
When I was single I dated a few guys who were my height (~5’6) or a little shorter. Height doesn’t usually have an effect on wether I find a guy attractive or not. ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/35 "2004-01-05T16:37:19Z")
5’8" female here. I have dated only two people over 6’, I think I found their height sexy because of the scarcity ! My husband is taller than me, but shorter if I wear heels. We’re both happy with that. I understand that tall girls are sexy but I don’t want to be anybody’s “ego trip.” Can’t we be attracted to each other’s personality? Finally, it merits noting that the short guy / tall girl combo does offer some distinct advantages in the bedroom. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/36 "2004-01-05T17:08:06Z")
I just found out how sensitive my husband is about his height. He’s been telling me he’s 5’ 10" or so, which is my dad’s height. Well, they went back-to-back, and my dad is a LOT taller than my husband. He sort of laughed it off, but he was truly disturbed to find out he’s much closer to 5’ 8". Why this would matter, when I’m 5’ 1" is beyond me, but he sometimes mentions how he wishes he was a big guy. ---
**Author:** ![B.Serum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/b.serum/32/14266_2.png) [@B.Serum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B.Serum)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/37 "2004-01-05T17:44:19Z")
5’6" guy here. I have definitely noticed the preference of women for tall guys. But seeing as how there is literally nothing I can do about my height short of wearing platforms (which is the height equivalent of the comb-over), there is nothing to do but to just deal with it. Besides, as anyone who gets to know me will tell you, I’m not short… _I’m concentrated._ ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/38 "2004-01-05T17:50:41Z")
I’ve always assumed peoples attraction to men of a taller stature was biological - that it registers as a deep seeded, subconscious & **implied notion** about _better_ breeding stock or genetic superiority. After picking up that vibe, it might be the reason why some shorter guys suffer from a Napoleonic Complex. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/39 "2004-01-05T18:15:18Z")
My longest relationship before my husband was with a guy who was an inch or so shorter than I am, and I have dated other guys who were a bit shorter, as well as a couple who were taller. My husband is at least a half foot taller than I am (I’m 5’9"), and did not do much dating before I came along. In my personal but limited experience, guys who are shorter than me often (not always, like in the case of the longer-term boyfriend I mentioned) seemed embarassed or intimidated if I was taller, especially if I wore heels which made the difference greater. I only wore heels at the time out of attempting to fit with fashion, and eventually stuck to flats when I was seeing or interested in a shorter guy. Interestingly, my husband told me just yesterday that in his mental image of me, he always pictures me as being his height. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622/40 "2004-01-05T18:51:29Z")
Okay, there is no such thing as Napoleonic Complex (or short man’s syndrome for that matter). It’s just another form of discrimination casually used against short guys. Some women find short guys preferable. Not most. In study after study done around the world women consistently and overwhelmingly prefer taller men. From ABC News… > [@](#): > > Likewise, evolution may have led women to prefer taller men. > > Women will take just about any shortcoming in a man, except in the height department, according to Andrea McGinty, who founded the San Diego-based dating service It’s Just Lunch. > > McGinty helped ABCNEWS put together an experiment to test just how willing women are to date shorter men. We brought together several short men and asked them to stand next to taller men. We invited groups of women to look at the men and choose a date. > > To see if the women would go for short guys who were successful, ABCNEWS’ Lynn Sherr created extraordinary résumés for the shorter men. She told the women that the shorter men included a doctor, a best-selling author, a champion skier, a venture capitalist who’d made millions by the age of 25. > > Nothing worked. The women always chose the tall men. Sherr asked whether there’d be anything she could say that would make the shortest of the men, who was 5 feet, irresistible. One of the women replied, “Maybe the only thing you could say is that the other four are murderers.” Another backed her up, saying that had the taller men had a criminal record she might have been swayed to choose a shorter man. Another said she’d have considered the shorter men, if the taller men had been described as “child molesters.” > > The desire for tall men begins very young, apparently. ABCNEWS gave elementary school students a test, asking them to match a small, medium or large figure of a man with a series of words. The kids overwhelmingly linked the tall figure to the words strong, handsome and smart. The linked the short figure to the words sad, scared and weak. More than half of the kids also chose to link the short figure to the words, dumb, yucky and no friends. If you want to see the whole article it’s at [http://abcnews.go.com/sections/2020/DailyNews/2020\_lookism\_020823.html](http://abcnews.go.com/sections/2020/DailyNews/2020_lookism_020823.html). From The Economist (Dec. 23, 1995)… > [@](#): > > Perhaps heightism is just a western cultural prejudice? Sadly not. In Chinese surveys, young women always rate stature high among qualifications for a future mate. Indeed, the prejudice appears to be universal. > > In the 1960s and 1970s, Thomas Gregor, an anthropologist at America’s Vanderbilt University, lived among the Mehinaku, a tropical forest people of central Brazil who were amazed by such new-fangled gadgets as spectacles. Among the Mehinaku, attractive men should be tall: they are respectfully called wekepei. Woe unto the peritsi, as very short men are derisively called (it rhymes with itsi, the word for penis). Where a tall man is kaukapapai, worthy of respect, the short one is merely laughable. His lack of stature is a moral as well as physical failing, for it is presumed to result from sexual looseness during adolescence. > > “No one wants a peritsi for a son-in-law,” Mr Gregor writes. By many measures–wealth, chieftainship, frequency of participation in rituals–tall men dominate in tribal life. They hog the reproductive opportunities, too. Mr Gregor looked at the number of girlfriends of Mehi-naku men of varying heights. He found a pattern: the taller the man, the more girl-friends he had. As he explained, “the three tallest men had as many affairs as the seven shortest men, even though their average estimated ages were identical.” > > He went on to note that the Trobriand Islanders of the Pacific, the Timbira of Brazil, and the Navajo of America were among the many other traditional cultures that also prize male height. “In no case have I found a preference for short men,” he said. Among anthropologists, it is a truism that in traditional societies the “big man” actually is big, not just socially but physically The whole artice is at [http://www.shortsupport.org/News/0106.html](http://www.shortsupport.org/News/0106.html) I had a boss one time who was a lady of about 4’11" who once told me she had hated men like me (5’6") when she was in college because they always asked her out. Imagine the nerve of those men to insult her in such a manner! She told me (in a very animated way) she would NEVER date a short man because she would NOT have short children. We were both married to other people so it’s not like she was feeling any interest from me. Her husband was almost 6’ tall, but he was suffering from chronic depression last I herd. Oh well, better that than short. I wonder what she will tell any son’s she may have someday. “Sorry honey, the girls are right to ignore you. I would never date a guy like you.” > [@](#): > > Originally posted by **look!ninjas** > It’s got to go back to some primitive, sabretooth tiger clubbing instinct in our genetics. It isn’t really useful anymore, is it? The idea that made tall men make better providers may be something from the distant evolutionary past, but it still holds true today. [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3200296.stm](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3200296.stm) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-height-and-men/222622.md?page=3)