# Of obese men and sexual women... how does it work? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 20, 2003, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-obese-men-and-sexual-women-how-does-it-work/214246 "2003-11-20T03:29:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![simply\_cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@simply\_cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simply_cats)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-obese-men-and-sexual-women-how-does-it-work/214246/1 "2003-11-20T03:29:38Z")
There is not really any tactful way for me to go about asking this, so here is the situation: recently I (30 yrs old, reasonably attractive, size 16 (ok, 18… but I am tall…) have gone out a couple of times with a fairly large man. I enjoy his company; he is funny, warm, gently teasing, and I feel completely stress-free when I am with him (not an easy feat for a single mom). I am looking forward to spending more time with him, and naturally; as I am a pretty sexual kind of woman; I have started to speculate. I’ve never been with a large man, so I am wondering… logistically… um, how do things all line up? Are there … hmm, positions that are better than others? I’m not sure what all I want to know… I’m just curious… any advice, suggestions, stories to share? ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-obese-men-and-sexual-women-how-does-it-work/214246/2 "2003-11-20T03:31:12Z")
woman on top Not that I would know, haven’t been with anyone large. I’m 5;11" and 140 ---
**Author:** ![raizok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4491bb/32.png) [@raizok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raizok)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-obese-men-and-sexual-women-how-does-it-work/214246/3 "2003-11-20T04:09:56Z")
Ye gods. You’d have to lift his folds up and pin it somehow. /shudders ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-obese-men-and-sexual-women-how-does-it-work/214246/4 "2003-11-20T04:37:50Z")
[Here](http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/dimtext/positions/fat_sex.html) Or you could e-mail Al Goldstein (of Screw) and ask him how it’s done. ---
**Author:** ![luluBahrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e5b9ba/32.png) [@luluBahrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luluBahrain)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-obese-men-and-sexual-women-how-does-it-work/214246/5 "2003-11-20T04:59:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by raizok \* > \*\*Ye gods. You’d have to lift his folds up and pin it somehow. > > /shudders \*\* Oh, how I wish this was the Pit.:wally ---
**Author:** ![einstein\_s\_lovechild\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e36b37/32.png) [@einstein\_s\_lovechild\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/einstein_s_lovechild_1)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-obese-men-and-sexual-women-how-does-it-work/214246/6 "2003-11-20T07:19:13Z")
I read a thing on sumo sex and the chick sits on top, but he needs a towel to hold her on since he can’t reach around that far. At the psychiatric hospital, obese people used to have sex upside down on the stairs so their flabby guts didn’t get in the way. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-obese-men-and-sexual-women-how-does-it-work/214246/7 "2003-11-20T07:52:00Z")
Without knowing how big the guy is, it’s hard to tell. If he’s merely chubby or overweight (but not “Fat Bastard”-style obese), then it will work like it does with anyone else. “Woman on top” is a handy all-purpose method, but other positions are certainly possible. And, of course, tongues are always handy… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-obese-men-and-sexual-women-how-does-it-work/214246/8 "2003-11-20T08:43:47Z")
Fwiw, I’m sure I’ve read on this board that the best way forward for the romantic - yet lumpy - Lothario is doggy-style. But that’s not really why I’m posting: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by einstein’s lovechild \* > At the psychiatric hospital, obese people used to have sex upside down on the stairs so their flabby guts didn’t get in the way. > > Good luck! Good luck, indeed . But wait . . . is it me or is there something not quite right with this picture? I’m looking at the stairs here and thinking upside down wouldn’t solve a whole lot. Perhaps the idea is to start at the top and, by cunning use of gravity, descend the flight locked in some improbable embrace and using the bump of each stair as a thrust? It could be fun, it could be painful. Just how lumpy are these patients ? ---
**Author:** ![simply\_cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@simply\_cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simply_cats)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-obese-men-and-sexual-women-how-does-it-work/214246/9 "2003-11-20T11:56:24Z")
Thanks, JohnBckWLD, for that informative link. I’m guessing that “love will find a way.” ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-obese-men-and-sexual-women-how-does-it-work/214246/10 "2003-11-20T17:07:11Z")
Yeah it does. My hubby is quite pot bellied and we find a way … and usually with me on bottom. He has to support his weight more but it works. Experiment. Thats half the fun of having sex anyway! > [@](#): > > Ye gods. You’d have to lift his folds up and pin it somehow. :wally :wally :wally And he has more staying power and longer duration than ANY of the skinny guys I had been with previously . \* fans self\* ---
**Author:** ![Wheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4da419/32.png) [@Wheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheel)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-obese-men-and-sexual-women-how-does-it-work/214246/11 "2003-11-20T18:22:24Z")
If you’re a single mom then you know how, I say “Go for it like minks and let the _potato_ chips fall where they may!!” Seriously, unless he is freakishly obese, things will work out just fine if you proceed in the old familiar way. I’m 6’ and 235 lbs, I know what I’m talking about here. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-obese-men-and-sexual-women-how-does-it-work/214246/12 "2003-11-20T22:04:07Z")
My finace’s bigger–though I wouldn’t use the term obese to describe him!–and we haven’t had any problems with any positions except a 69 where I was on top of him. And, honestly, that was due more to the fact that both of us like some hand action with the tongue, if you get what I’m saying, so there simply wasn’t enough room or enough support. Could we ask for a picture? I have no idea what your definition of “obese” is. I’m an 18 and a little above average height, if that helps give you a frame of reference, and my boyfriend is similarly proportioned.